Page 13 of A Loving Governess in Disguise
Chapter 13
Euterpe missed her family terribly.
She had been distracted throughout Ella’s lessons that morning, which was perfectly fine in the end because Ella was just as unwilling to focus. She had demanded to know exactly what had happened at the ball, and who she had danced with, and would she now marry and leave her.
“Do not worry,” she soothed. “I have no intentions of leaving you.”
“That doesn’t mean you won’t,” the little girl protested, her cheeks red.
“It would take a lot for me to abandon you. I enjoy our time together far too much to even consider it.”
That seemed to help. She settled for a moment, copying from her book for a while before looking at her again.
“Did my uncle dance with anyone?”
Euterpe faltered. She did not know quite what to say, for he had indeed danced with Victoria, but if he had not told his niece that himself, then it was unlikely that he wanted her to know. She would certainly not tell her that she had danced with the duke herself.
“I do not know,” she replied. “I did not see him. Perhaps you can ask him when you speak with him?”
“He wouldn’t tell me if he did. It is why I hoped you would pay attention. What else could you have been doing?”
She had to think quickly. She could not say that she was listening for information about her sister or lover, nor that she was speaking with gentlemen, and she certainly could not discuss her argument with the duke and the subsequent dance.
“I was meeting some members of the ton,” she said carefully. “I was also trying to ensure that I fit in with them, given my background.”
“I suppose, though you could fool them quite easily, I think.”
“And I think it is time for you to focus on your letters. You are smudging them.”
She pointed to an ‘e’ that had been brushed against and become an ‘o’. Ella giggled and continued in silence for a while.
Euterpe quickly realized that was far worse, for in the silence, she had to think. She remembered the secret dance, her hair flowing down to the waist that the duke was holding. His touch had felt exquisite, and though she had been so angry with him, she found that such an emotion had left her entirely. He had more than made up for his mistakes, and she had more than forgiven him.
It was dreadful, for she could feel herself falling for him.
She hated lying to him, too, for he was kind to her. She was not a mere governess but could not tell him that. If she did, she would have to leave, which would mean losing him and the sweet little girl sitting before her. She enjoyed her new life, and though the guilt that she had left her family gnawed at her, she allowed herself to be happy.
Eloise, she concluded, had made her choice, and though she would never stop searching for her, it at least made her feel more willing to accept the good things she was being given. It was a far better prospect than being the Duke of Somerset’s wife, at least, and as long as she was in the Duke of Cambridge’s home, she was safe.
Eloise would understand that given that she was the reason Euterpe had left in the first place and would forgive her for not bringing her home should she ever wish Euterpe had done so.
Her parents were another matter entirely. They would be furious with her for what she had done. Eloise had left them with another chance, but Euterpe had left them with nothing, and she felt positively evil for that.
They had needed her, and she had abandoned them simply because she did not wish to do her duty and marry the man they had chosen for her. If they hated her for what she had done, she wouldn’t blame them.
But something felt wrong. Eloise had always been the romantic sort, the dreamer who had wanted nothing more than to marry for love and live a quiet life. That did not mean, however, that she did not love her family.
They had always loved one another, which had made her abandonment that much worse. They fought, as any sisters did, but never allowed it to last too long. They trusted each other completely, so why did Eloise feel she had to run away?
That was when the knock came, and the duke informed her of Theodore’s wishes to take her out for the afternoon.
It felt strange being with a gentleman unaccompanied. She had spent her life knowing that it was forbidden in high society, but then that was not who she was anymore. She was a servant, nothing more. She boarded the carriage beside him, and the two of them left. There did not seem to be much haste in Theodore’s face, but he did not explain just where they were going, either.
“Is this your way of telling me the duke wants a different governess?” she joked.
“Not at all. I do wish to tell you that I am so happy that you have changed the household so much.”
“Thank you, but I have hardly changed a thing.”
“On the contrary, I have never seen the duke be so happy. Not only that, but Ella has flourished since your arrival. You seem to be the first lady she has ever taken to. It is wonderful.”
“Yes, well, that is my role.”
“Your role is to aid her in her studies. The fact that you have made her this happy is going above and beyond. She thinks a great deal of you, as does the duke.”
She couldn’t help blushing at that.
“We do not make a secret of it,” Theodore continued, “but this has been a very difficult time for both of them. You know, Edward did not even want children at all; he disliked them if I am being honest. Then Ella came to him.”
“And he changed his mind, I presume?”
Euterpe heard the thudding of his finger as he tapped the seat beside him.
“He did not. Not for a while, at least. He loves Ella now, adores her even, but it took time.”
“Then why did he take her in? He had no obligation to do so.”
“Because it was his duty,” Theodore explained. “He had a duty to his sister, and whether he liked it or not, he had to honour her by taking her daughter in. Fortunately, he eventually took to her.”
Euterpe was stunned by the revelation. She suddenly became very aware of her surroundings and that she was not quite comfortable in her seat. It was a warm day, but she felt quite cool even so.
“I would never have thought that,” she sighed after a moment.
“Nobody ever would. They truly do love one another now. My point is that there was a great difficulty for a long time. It has been the worst for Isabella.”
“I can certainly imagine that. The duke is not her father; he is her uncle, yet he is, for all intents and purposes, a father to her. It must have been so hard to understand.”
“It was, and she was miserable for a while, and then each time there was an incident with a governess, it happened all over again. Thankfully, now that you are here, she shall have something that lasts.”
She mumbled in an affirmative tone, but it felt like a terrible lie. The truth was that when she found Eloise and then a match for herself, she would leave. That had always been what she had planned, and though she was happy, it could not change. She had to think about her family, no matter how much she enjoyed the company of Ella, of the duke.
“Do you mind telling me just where we are going?” she asked.
“We are going to see Charlotte.”
Her heart thudded.
“Charlotte? But she is so far away.”
“No, she isn’t, not now at least. She is staying with me for a while, as she promised my mother and father when you arrived.”
It was strange, as not much time had passed since Euterpe had last seen her friend, yet everything had.
“There is also something I must discuss with you,” he continued, “but it must wait a while longer. I shall need Charlotte with me when I tell you.”
Euterpe blinked, looking at him incredulously. Why did Charlotte need to be present? She tried not to think about it, which proved to be bearable as they arrived soon after. Charlotte was already waiting for her and threw her arms tightly around Euterpe.
“You look wonderful!” she gasped. “I see my cousin’s friend has been taking care of you.”
“Exceptionally good care, yes. I must admit, this has been … surprisingly pleasant.”
“Good. Now, we must take tea in my aunt’s drawing room. We have something to tell you of the utmost importance!”
They left for the same drawing room that Euterpe had been standing in before, and she tried to take sips of tea as she looked at her oldest friend and her new one.
Neither seemed to know what to say to her, and it drove her mad. She had come all that way, and now neither seemed to know how to talk at all. Suddenly, Charlotte sighed, and her voice took a far more serious tone.
“Theodore has seen the gentleman that you are searching for.”
She dropped the teacup, the handle snapping off as it hit the floor. She gasped, the hot tea splashing her skirts, but Theodore simply cleared it away, and Charlotte poured her another.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Well,” Charlotte began, “he–”
“No,” Euterpe interrupted. “Why does he know about any of this?”
“I had to tell him. He is not a fool, Euterpe. He has known since the beginning.”
“But you agreed that it had to be a secret.”
“I did, yes, until I saw a strange man outside my home. I do not know who he was, but it frightened me, and so I came here. Given that the season shall soon be in full swing, I had to explain why I had to leave London.”
“Believe me, Euterpe,” Theodore said gently, “Charlotte only told me because I had so many questions. I shall not tell anyone else myself, not even the duke. You have my word.”
Euterpe tried to settle, tried to understand why her friend had done what she did. It made sense, she supposed, to tell Theodore, even if she was surprised by it.
“Very well,” she said, nodding. “How did you find him? I was hoping to find Eloise, you see, because I do not know what he looks like.”
“I spend a lot of my time in town,” Theodore explained. “When I am not with the duke, I like to spend time in livelier places. Yesterday, I heard talk of a Charles Atkins, and I asked the gentleman to tell me more about him. He is currently bearing the brunt of gossip for marrying far above his station or at least hoping to.”
“That would be him, yes.”
“And so I asked what he looked like so that we could search for him, hoping he would lead us to your sister. He has black hair and brown eyes, he wears glasses, and his skin is tanned.”
The mark of a working man. Euterpe nodded along, trying to form an image in her mind of the man who had taken her sister away. She decided he had to be handsome, as there had to be something about him worth Eloise leaving her life behind for.
“So, what do we do now?” she asked.
“He was seen in a bookstore, and it appears that he frequents it often. I suppose we should begin our search there.”
Euterpe agreed, and after a rushed goodbye, she ran out to the carriage once more, Theodore in tow. As they sat opposite one another again, she found that she was, in truth, quite angry with him. She was thankful he had not said a word about it, of course, but she thought he could have told her sooner.
“I understand you are angry,” he said, looking at her skewed eyes. “Believe me, this is not what I would have wanted if I were you either, but you must understand that when Charlotte told me about that man, I did not know what else to do.”
Euterpe paused. She had not questioned her friend about the man she said was outside her home, but she should have. Then again, she had some time with Theodore, and he did owe her many explanations, given the circumstances.
“Who was the man?” she asked.
“We do not know. He has appeared there a few times, always during the day and on some nights. Charlotte saw him when she was wandering at night. She is unharmed, as is her family, but it was very strange behaviour to see, and she is understandably frightened.”
“And do your parents know about this?”
“Not as yet. Thankfully, she had already planned to visit, so they have not questioned it, but they may need to know eventually.”
“And what about hers?”
“They are not in London for the next few weeks. My mother and aunt have another sister, so while Charlotte is with us, her parents are with the other sister.”
“And so they do not know either?”
“No. Only you, Charlotte, your lady’s maid, and I know what is happening and where you are. Do not be afraid, Euterpe. I will make sure nothing happens to you.”
“And if the duke asks–”
“I will not tell him. Yes, he has been my friend for years, but I have honour. There is no need for him to know who you truly are, not when it would only cause trouble, and so he need not know. In the meantime, we shall find your sister and find you a husband, and all will be well.”
Euterpe sighed, looking at the world stretching before her as the carriage travelled along.
“You make it all sound so simple.”
“It is! We only truly have two things to do. We can do that quite easily.”
“I admire your resolve, Mr Swanson.”
“Now, now. You might as well call me Theodore by now.”
“It is a formality!”
“Yes, and very little is formal about any of this.”
Despite herself, Euterpe laughed at that. She had always been a proper lady, and now she had to be anything but to succeed.