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“Beautiful,” he breathed. “Just beautiful.”

I clamped my legs together, pulling down my skirts and rolling away from him. My face was tight and sticky, and I rubbed furiously at the filth he had left behind.

“Oh my god,” I murmured, tears flooding my eyes. “What have you done to me?”

“I told you, I am breaking down this perfect facade you have built for yourself, for the world.” He crouched down beside me, reaching out to stroke my hair. “I am freeing you, Evie. I am your salvation.”

“You are my destruction.” I scrambled away from him, feeling sick with humiliation. “This is not who I am. This is not what I want.”

“I’d wager that you’d have let me do any manner of things to you in the state you just found yourself.” His sickening grin did not abate as my eyes met his. “In pleasure, you will find your true self, Evie. It is no different to being drunk. All your inhibitions come tumbling down, and in that moment, you find out who you really are, and what you really want.”

“No!” I covered my hands and wept, “You are the devil.”

“No, I am simply your husband.” He rose to his feet, adjusting his clothing and tucking himself away. “At least, I shall be in the morning.”

I brushed my face with the back of my hands, still grimy and sticky, and scowled up at him. “I have never hated anyone as much as I hate you.”

“And you will never love anyone as you have loved me.” His self-assured smile haunted me as he strode out of the room, leaving me alone on the floor with my shame, and the leavings of all we had done.

Twelve hours remained until my fall. Only twelve hours.

15

THE WEDDING

The only satisfaction I felt as I walked down to the carriage was that it was raining. The sky was dark and bruised, and rain fell in an unrelenting downpour. Had it been brilliant and sunny, I am sure I would have screamed the manor down.

Mary informed me that Azriel had spoken to the staff and told them of our nuptials. George resigned on the spot, leaving within the hour. Two of the stableboys and one of the kitchen maids had done the same. The others agreed to stay, or had at least not decided to leave in the face of their master.

Or perhaps, like me, they simply had no other choice.

And still, knowing that the servants now knew, that now my secret was out, my cheeks burned as I passed furrowed brows and quickly averted eyes. My periwinkle blue dress almost stung my eyes, so bright was it compared to my widow’s garb. The clothing I had worn for a mere fortnight.

My hair was half-coiled on my head, half hanging around my shoulders in curls. White flowers stood out against the darkness of my hair. I looked like a bride, certainlyenough to have the remaining servants gawping at me as I passed them by. I held my head high, despite the fire in my cheeks, and took Azriel’s hand as it was offered to me, helping me up into the carriage.

“You look beautiful, Evie.” He took his seat opposite me, banging his cane against the roof of the carriage. “Not as beautiful as you did last night, but then, there is plenty of time for that.”

I glared out of the window at the sheets of rain that lashed the carriage at a harsh angle. “Do not even speak of it.”

“There is no shame in what you did.”

I scoffed out a harsh laugh. “There is plenty of shame in it. It is vile. Filth.”

“Pleasure is not filth.”

“Stop talking,” I snapped, inhaling deeply through my nose as he chuckled to himself. “This day is bad enough without you excusing your deviousness, and acting as though what… what I did was in any way normal.”

“Very well. I shall not try and convince you of it.” He smiled as I glanced back at him. “You shall have to learn from experience.”

“Does it thrill you? Having control over me like that?”

He turned the cane pensively back and forth in his fingers. “You still do not seem to understand that it is you who has control over me, Evie.”

“Oh yes, silly me, I own you, of course.”

“But my beloved, you do.” He leaned forward, his icy eyes flashing as his mouth shifted into a crooked grin. “You think I would watch a woman through the cracks of the walls for my own ends? To serve my own purpose?”

“You abused yourself watching me, do not even pretend I had any influence over you.”