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I shall do as I wish with what is mine.

He wanted to claim me. As what? His whore? I would sooner die than live through that shame.

No, that was a lie. I did not want to die. I wanted to live.

The thought of throwing myself off the nearest bridge and into the Thames had crossed my mind only once, manyyears ago, the first time Acton had come to our marriage bed. And I had not done it then, and I would not do it now.

I considered, instead, running away. But I knew that too would be useless. I had nowhere to go, and certainly nowhere Azriel would not find me.

I would just have to find a way to call Azriel’s bluff.

My feet were sore and the fire had all but died away in the hearth by the time the sun began to appear over the horizon. I collapsed into the window seat to watch this new day dawn. I did not yet know what it would bring, but I was sure I could outsmart him. I would find a way out of this mess.

He couldn’t know.

When Mary finally woke, she stretched and yawned, and rubbed her eyes as she found me in my place by the window.

“I’m sorry, madam, I fell asleep when I said I would stay with you.”

I waved a hand, curling my legs up against my chest. “Never mind, Mary. It is better that you slept.”

“I shall go and fetch you some breakfast.”

The thought of food made my stomach turn. “No, that is alright, some tea shall do. And then please ready my clothes, Mr Caine wishes to take me out in the carriage.” I avoided her gaze as I said the words, and I could practically feel her confusion.

“Out, madam?”

“Yes, out. He has insisted.”

“But-”

“Tea, Mary.” I snapped, still not looking at her.

“Yes, madam.” She hurried to her room, and left me alone again.

The next hours passed in a blur of panic as my mind continued to spin and untangle what had happened the night before. I was trembling as Mary dressed me, but she said nothing, worry plain on her face all the same.

Finally, it was almost 9 o’clock, and I made my way down the stairs to meet Azriel. The servants eyed me curiously, wondering where a widow could be going on a Tuesday morning, certainly not attending church. The veil I wore did not obscure my face as much as I would have liked, and the overwhelming trepidation was now joined by deep shame.

Azriel was waiting for me, the heavy coat on his shoulders making him look even larger and more intimidating. He met my eyes with a smile, and I was sure my discomfort was extremely pleasing to him.

“Good morning, Evie. You look lovely.”

Wordlessly, I walked past him out to the waiting carriage and allowed the footman to help me in.

Azriel swiftly followed, and tapped the roof with his cane.

“Drive on!” He called, before looking back over at me. “Did you sleep well? You look tired.”

“No, I did not sleep well.”

He sucked on his teeth. “Ah, that is a shame. I slept remarkably well.”

“Probably all that drink.”

“You know, you’re probably right.” He chuckled to himself, gazing out the window at the gathering clouds. “I had thought the day would be fine, but now it appears we shall have more rain.”

“Where are we going?” I asked as the carriage began to head down the bumpy cobble street.