Page 9

“Excellent. How’s he doing?” Fallon runs her hand along the back of Fen’s sleeping head, and I remove his hat now that we’re inside.

“Good, though I’m worried he’s got a cold. His nose has been running like a leaky tap, and he’s drooling more than usual.”

“Every child does this time of year, and both the runny nose and drooling could also mean he’s getting more teeth. I’ll take a look, though. Let me pull up his chart and labs.” She sits down at the computer and starts typing away, only to pause and read over whatever it is she sees on there. “Ah, okay, all of his titers came back negative.”

I blink, feeling my brow furrow. “What does that mean? Titers?”

“Those are blood tests that measure whether or not someone is immune to a certain disease. In this case, it indicates he was never vaccinated. Since we don’t know how to reach his mother or have access to any of his previous health records, we don’t know if this was intentional or lack of care.”

I bluster out a heavy, frustrated breath, my insides roiling and burning with acid. Something I do at least twenty times aday when I think about Fen’s mum. Does she think about him? Does she ache with missing him the way I do for answers?

Who the fuck leaves a baby in a basket on a stranger’s doorstep like he’s bloody Moses with a note that saysLoomis,this is Fenric, and he’s yours?

That was it.

There was nothing else with him.

No birth certificate, passport, or information about him.

My son’s existence is a puzzle where the pieces don’t quite fit no matter how I turn them. We don’t even know his birthdate or exact age. The best Fallon can tell by his teeth and developmental milestones is that he’s somewhere between ten and fifteen months. He’s walking and has a few words like Dada, hi, and cookie, but he’s small, and per my mum, I started walking and talking at ten months.

“Right then. How do we get him caught up?”

“We’ll do it slowly,” she tells me with a soothing voice and calm smile. Panic wrestles with disbelief, each round I take leaving me more breathless than the last. This isn’t how I pictured fatherhood, not that I ever wanted to become a father. But no preamble, just a sudden plunge into the deep end, isn’t it. It’s quite the adjustment to go from the life I had to this at twenty-nine years old.

Not to mention, what do I know about being a father? Mine was a first-rate bastard who left us after telling my mum he couldn’t stand the lot of us. Not his wife or his three sons. He drank and yelled about everything, couldn’t hold a job, and blamed us for all his shortcomings and how his life wasn’t what he dreamed it would be.

He wanted to be a musician and an actor, but he met Mum at a pub, knocked her up with me, and that was that. He married her, resented both of us, got her pregnant again with the twins, and ran out a few years later.

I won’t be like him, but I can’t help but worry who he was as a father is in my blood all the same.

“If we’re going with the belief that he’s already twelve months old, he won’t require certain vaccines that we give to babies in their first year.”

“Sounds reasonable,” I say, trying to keep the tightness from my voice.

“Yes,” Fallon agrees but turns and gives me that doctor and motherly look she’s famous for. “Have you thought more about notifying an attorney or the police or the Department of Family Services?”

My throat bobs on a heavy swallow as I stare down at him. “I’m going to have to soon. I know this. I don’t want them to take him, and I’m afraid they will. Even if it’s just for a bit, I can’t have that.”

“Why would they take him?” she asks, genuinely perplexed.

“Other than not telling the police about him immediately? I have a record in England. I was arrested twice for possession and dealing drugs and spent two months in His Majesty’s Prison there. I got myself cleaned up, and that was years ago, but I’m a single man who works a crazy job and?—”

“You have money,” she tells me gently. “You’re also famous and likable since you play good men and heroes on screen. You have people in your corner. Myself, Tinsley, and her father, Greyson. As you know, we all carry our own weight and influence. With Tinsley comes Stone and the Fritz family and their weight and influence. Aside from all of that, there are lots of single fathers out there with records who do a lot less than you do and don’t lose their children. You’ve brought him here and made sure he’s healthy. You give him everything he needs, including your love. I can’t imagine they’d take him.”

“But they could, right? They could?”

She falls quiet for a moment and finally says, “Yes. They could. You’ve hidden him, which makes it look like you’ve got something to hide, and we don’t know his history. And yes, your hours and travel aren’t ideal for a baby. They will likely follow you and your care of him for a while, but I don’t see how foster care is better for him than being with you.”

That old, far too familiar, crushing fear grips my chest. “They took us when I was a boy. My mum was going through a rough time, both emotionally and financially, after my dad left us. Our flat was… well, it was the best she could do, and she worked so many hours to keep it and feed us that I had to do more than a young boy should. A neighbor called them on us, and we spent a few nights in some facility. They separated me from the twins and wouldn’t let us talk to our mum until we were finally allowed back home. I can’t have that happen.”

I blow out a rattled breath and feel Tinsley rest her head on my shoulder. “We won’t let it.”

“I’ll have to do something in the next couple of weeks before I start shooting,” I continue. “I’ll have to let the studio know, and they could pull me from the film, not wanting any ugly or unnecessary press on their leading man.” That would be gutting. “If they don’t, I’ll have to find a nanny. Someone to live with us and care for him around the clock when I can’t be there.”

Which I hate. I fuckinghate.

The thought of bringing a stranger, someone who could easily exploit us or have Fen grow fond of them and then they leave, fills me with dread. All of this is why I’ve held off, but I can’t keep relying on Tinsley to watch him when she’s able. She has her own work, her own life. And I need to man up and face this.