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Me: I think we both know what it is and what it isn’t. Separate bedrooms, space when we both need it, no funny business.

Loomis: Absolutely none. That’s imperative because, truth be told, I don’t get involved with women, and I’d only end up hurting you. I’m not saying this to be cruel or hurtful, I’m saying this because that’s something I’d never want, and I know myself.

A rock drops into my stomach. I suppose I shouldn’t be shocked by this. It’s not as if I didn’t already know. He never has girlfriends, and considering how closely I used to follow him online, I’ve never seen pictures of him with the same woman twice. For a while after I went to see him in LA, I was bitter that nothing happened between us. That he didn’t want me, even for a hookup. Now, I’m so relieved he didn’t.

He respected me enough not to do anything then, and it’ll be the same now. I’ll be fine.We’llbe fine.

It’s a relief he’s not expecting anything to happen.

Me: Same, so I’m great with this.

Loomis: I’ll even do my best not to look at you in your swimming costume or imagine you in the next room. We’ll be totally and completely platonic.

Me: I can’t tell if you’re being facetious or not.

Loomis: Not. I mean, not entirely. I might sneak a peek and have a fantasy or two, but I am a man, and that can’t be helped.

The thought of Loomis having a fantasy about me and getting off to it…

Me: But we won’t act on it.

Loomis: No matter what.

Me: Then I’ll see you at the airport tomorrow around noon.

Loomis: See you then. And Keegan? Thank you. I’ll be a broken record with that, but no one’s ever put themselves on the line for me like this, and words can’t express my gratitude.

Me: I’m glad I’m able to help.

I set my phone on Do Not Disturb but decide to check my email one last time and practically gasp when I find the contract from my attorney and the publisher ready for my signature. My hands tremble and my lip quivers. I stare balefully down at my wrist. I’m so dependent on my right hand for everything.

If I do this, if I sign this contract and take on these books, I’ll likely have to tell Loomis about what I’m doing. That part doesn’t bother me so much. He’ll keep my secret, and I just have to hope he doesn’t judge me for what I write. No, it’s what happens to me if I sign this. If I become a traditionally published author under contract with hard deadlines instead of thinking of this as a hobby.

Can I still practice medicine and do this too? Will I be able to make these deadlines without going crazy and mentally taxing myself to the breaking point? And how much longer can I keep it a secret from the rest of my family and colleagues? From the world?

Then there’s what I’m venturing into with Loomis.

I’m in a fake relationship with a famous movie star.

A movie star who has a son from a woman we don’t know, and now the world is in on it. NowI’min on it. The press sleeping in the bushes in front of my building are proving that.

I sigh and set my phone down. I’ll read over the contract on the plane tomorrow, and I guess I’ll have to sign it. Right? It’s what I want, isn’t it?

Do I even know what I want?

All these major life events are happening at once, many of them conflicting, roads converging and crossing over one another. Can I take the road less traveled by as Robert Frost said? And if I do, how will there not be an impact? How can I not be setting myself up for one hell of a collision?

11

It took two hours to convince the studio to keep me on the film. Two. Hours.

My agent flew in last night, and between the two of us, we reassured them that we had everything under control. They discussed recasting, possibly having Tommy Hardgrave take on my role and me his, but I wouldn’t have it, and thankfully they backed down.

Still, it was a bloody lie that I had everything under control. But the moment I informed them I’d be on holiday with Keegan until shortly before filming, all was fine and calm. It was bonkers. I’d never seen anything like it.

Keegan’s name was like a soothing balm on everyone’s nerves, and I left the meeting with my job intact and a green light to be back in three weeks. I went home, grabbed all of our things, and got in the car that was waiting for us.

That said, Keegan is bloody brilliant. Or at least her security staff are. Fen and I arrived at the airport after we were followed. There was no doubt about that, as the moment we walked out of our flat at eleven thirty, we were already inundated. Questions about who his mum is and where she is now and how longKeegan and I have been a couple and if Keegan is planning on adopting him and if we’re getting married and what this will mean for my next three movies.