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I blow out a heated breath, my skin vibrating and my stupid cock still hard, and I force myself to get my shit together before I open the door to Fen’s bedroom.

“Dada! Hi!”

I chuckle, and a smile instantly springs to my lips.

“Morning, my little lad. All right? You sleep well?” I kiss Fen’s forehead as I pick him up and out of his crib. “Did you have good dreams, or did the storm scare you?” We walk over to the changing table that’s on top of the dresser, and I set him down despite his ardent protests. He hates having his nappy changed and never fails to kick and scream whenever I do this. “Settledown, and whatever you do, don’t wee on me. I know that’s one of your favorite hobbies, but try to refrain.”

I continue to talk to him as I change him out of his pajamas and get him into a clean nappy. But now what? I’ve gone and mucked things up and made it awkward between me and Keegan.

“So much for not being a git,” I mumble to Fen.

I swing the door open and glance back toward her room. The corridor is dark and quiet with the exception of small rumbles of thunder and the pitter-patter of rain on the roof. It’s going to be a long day for us inside.

I take us into my room and quickly get dressed before we go downstairs, and I make all of us breakfast. I like that I can cook for her. I know she struggles to do things with her brace and broken wrist and hand. And when she comes down the stairs all smiles as if nothing happened between us this morning, my gut twists, and not in relief. She pours herself a cup of coffee and goes over to play with Fen while I finish cooking, and I find myself wishing this were real.

Except she’s not my girlfriend. She’s in love with another man. A man who texts her and calls her—like he is now since I can see the face of her phone as she goes to pick it up. She rises and jogs back up the steps as she answers for him, and my jaw clenches until it aches, and my grip on the spatula nearly snaps it in two.

Fuck. I don’t want her talking to him.

This is what my mum was saying all those years ago. Feelings and attachments are dangerous.

At some point today, Vander is going to leak photos of me with Keegan and Fen, and on Friday, social services is coming to pay us a visit. I have a movie to plan for, a script to learn, and a son to take care of. Those are the only things I should be focused on. I’m already breaking rules, and it has to stop.

Ten minutes later, I’m sitting with Fen on my lap, both of us eating from my plate because I’m too grouchy and lazy to put him in his highchair when Keegan comes back downstairs.

“Well, the pictures are out. They were leaked toIntertainmentfirst, and now they’re everywhere.

“Must have made your bloke unhappy.”

“He’s not my bloke or whatever you call it. But no, he wasn’t happy.”

“Good.”

“Good?”

“Yes. Good. Wasn’t that the point of this? For him to think you’re mine and therefore not his anymore? Or were you busy reconciling just now?”

“Why are you being a jerk?”

Because I’m jealous. Isn’t it obvious? Because I kissed you and everything I thought I knew about myself has suddenly been flipped on its head. Because I’m realizing with startling clarity that I want you to be mine. For real. And I don’t know how to make heads or tails of that when I’m already balancing a hundred different things, and you want him and not me.

“Just answer me.”

“No. We didn’t reconcile. Now are you going to answerme?”

I sigh and shift so I’m facing her while Fen shoves his mouth full of beans. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be short with you. I’m just out of sorts with everything.”

“It was just a kiss, Loomis.”

That pulls me up short. “What?”

“This morning. It was just a kiss. It didn’t mean anything. I know that. You can relax. I’m fine, and we both know it won’t happen again. Right?”

She just diced up my insides with a bloody machete. “Yeah. Sure.”

Relief dances through her eyes, and her smile kills me.

She goes about getting herself breakfast and more coffee in a new mug because that’s what she does sometimes, and I return to Fen, who is an absolute mess, and that’s that. We’re friends. Nothing more. She’s right for that. I know it, and I’ll stay with that course. She’s given me no choice.