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Finally, I manage to rasp, “Absolutely.”

Other than Tinsley, who is more like a sister to me than anything, I’ve never spent time with a woman without sleeping with them. And it’s been months since I’ve so much as kissed anyone. I don’t want that to be me with Keegan. I’m trying to get my act together, and she’s getting over a breakup. We’re both in a bad spot emotionally. I’d end up leaning on her, and she’d lean on me, and then disaster would strike.

Abruptly I stand and set a sleeping Fen back in his pushchair. “I should get him home.”

“Of course.” Keegan pops up, all sunshine and smiles as if we didn’t just have that conversation or an intense moment following it. “I’ll see you both around.”

She gives me a wave and scurries off before I can agree or not, and that feeling I was just having grows stronger. It wants her to stay and come home with us. It’s wondering why that’s not an option and why her mouth and body are off-limits to us.

I sigh and glance down at my sleeping boy.

I’m just lonely. Overwhelmed. That’s all this is.

For a moment, I convince myself of that and force a smile on my lips. Until I start to push Fen out of the playground and back toward our flat, and all hell breaks loose.

8

Iget home in a weird panic. I don’t know what possessed me to nearly invite Loomis along with me on my trip, but I’m so relieved nothing came of it. Could you imagine? That would have been the worst idea ever. I need this time for me, to figure out my next steps and hopefully get some writing in. Plus, let’s not lie here, I had a crush on him not that long ago.

Alden: I miss you. I can’t stop thinking about you. Please tell me you’re seriously considering forgiving my massive fuckup and taking me back.

“Argh. No more men! Get out of my head and my heart. All of you.”

I don’t bother texting him back. I can’t. I won’t be that girl.

What would I be gaining? I understand panic. I understand things moving too far too fast. But he had a week after me telling him I love him to wrap that around his head, and he ended it. It was only when he realized I was truly gone that he started having second thoughts, and maybe that’s enough for some. Maybe I should listen to that and understand.

But right now I can’t.

I could see myself going back to Alden. I loved him, or at least I thought I did. He’s a great guy and isn’t after my money or name, and his parents are besties with mine. It’s a match. That’s what we make in my world. But I don’t want to be the girl who jumps back and takes what’s offered to her only to regret it later.

That’s why I need to get out of here.

With that, I call my uncle Kaplan, who picks up on the third ring.

“Hey, Keegan. Everything okay?” he asks because I think I can count the number of times I’ve called him on two hands, and most of those were to thank him for presents when I was a kid.

“Hey! Yes.” I laugh at how crazy my voice sounds and clear it to get myself back under control. “Do you still have your house outside of Key West?”

He pauses for a minute. “You mean the island cottage? Yes, we still own it, though we haven’t been there in about a year or so. Why do you ask?”

I start to pace around my room. “Could I stay there?”

“You want to stay there? Alone?”

I pause and stare at my reflection in my full-length mirror. Am I doing this? Alone. I smile at myself. “If I could. I wouldn’t make a mess or anything, and I’d likely only need it for a week or so.”

He chuckles. “Keegan, it’s yours for however long you want it. I was just surprised you’d go alone. It is an island, though, so be aware of that. It can feel isolating. Still, I’m glad it’ll get some use. I’ll text you the information for the housekeepers, and I’ll let them know when you’re coming. They’ll make sure it’s stocked with anything you want. There’s also a boat docked there you’ll need to get to the mainland. It’s an easy ride, though.”

I sigh, my tense muscles relaxing. That sounds amazing. The seclusion and peace and quiet of it. “Thank you so much, Uncle Kap. You’re the best.”

“Absolutely. Is everything okay?” he questions. “It’s not like you to, well, I hate to say run away, but that’s what it sounds like you’re doing. At the very least, I can’t remember you ever taking time off.”

Because I haven’t. Not ever. “I broke my hand and wrist the other night, and I can’t work for at least four weeks. I thought some sun and vitamin D would be good for me.”

“Ah. I get it. Do your parents know you’re going?”

I roll my eyes, ever the child no matter how old I am. “My mom is the one who mentioned your cottage.”