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“What? For whom?” I squawk, grateful for the topic change. I get my love of all things Boston sports, especially baseball, from my mom. It was something she did with her dad before he died, and she imparted that love onto me and my sister, though Kenna isn’t nearly as into it as I am.

“I’ll tell you all about it after you tell me about Child and Family Services,” she demands, and I launch into an account of everything that happened this morning, omitting the part about what happened after the two social workers left, and after my mom tells me all about the big trade and the hope we have for a good season. My dad doesn’t bring up Loomis or his hands again.

By the time I hang up with them, my chest feels lighter. I hate not talking to my dad, and him calling to apologize and tell me he’s good with me not getting back together with Alden is everything.

That is until I spot Loomis through the window walking toward the house talking to Fen, who is on his hip. It hasn’t even been a week here, and we’ve already broken our no-sex rule. And if I don’t safeguard myself now, I’m risking breaking a whole lot more than some bones and rules.

21

Inever changed out of my bathing suit. I ended up taking a margarita and my laptop over to my writing spot and getting lost in the sex scene that I’ll drop in later when it fits. Typically, I’m a linear writer, needing to go in order of the story, but Loomis had me so worked up from the pool, and my thoughts about this afternoon wouldn’t die.

So I wrote it.

I’m thinking of it as a purging. Almost like a diary. If I write it, then it can’t haunt me or own me anymore.

Initially, I had this story all mapped out. It was going to be a second chance kind of thing where he left her for her own good so he wouldn’t have to change her, and years later he’s back. But now, I’ve been writing him as a sexy British celebrity who is hiding the fact that he’s a vampire from the world, and his love interest is his co-star. A total boss of a leading lady, but he never gets involved with women for obvious reasons, and she’s going to change all that and worm his truth out.

It’s another reason why I don’t want Loomis to know what I’m up to.

How could I explain that I’ve transformed my hero into a vampire version of him? I can’t. It sounds obsessive or stalkerish maybe when it’s not. It’s for my own sake. If I make him a fantasy then in my heart, I know he’ll never be real.

I could tell when I came in for dinner, laptop tucked under my arm, that he had a million questions for me about it. I’m not sure how much longer I can play the game of avoidance, and eventually, the longer we stay here, I’ll have to come clean about some of it. He didn’t bring it up, though. Not at dinner or after when we were playing with Fen and giving him another bath.

Something I didn’t even hesitate to join in with. It’s the three of us here and being with them feels so… natural. I love playing with Fen. I love talking to him, reading him books, and playing with toys. I love watching Loomis bathe him and get him ready for bed, listening to how he speaks to his son with so much love, my heart can’t help but swell.

Like right now as he kisses him and holds him close before he sets him down in his crib with one final, “Good night, my little lad. I love you.”

Maybe I should make my vampire a single dad. Can vampires even be dads? I haven’t written that before, but it’s fiction, so why not? Ugh. I really need two fully working hands for all the words I have to get out of my head. And away from my heart.

Loomis softly shuts the door, holding a monitor in his hand. He doesn’t usually use it since the upstairs is small, and his bedroom is directly across from Fen’s, though I guess tonight he is. Does that mean he’s planning to sleep with me? We certainly heard Fen from my room the other morn?—

Loomis’s mouth covers mine, cutting off my thoughts midstream. His hands cup my face, and he groans as if he’s been deprived of my kiss for too long. He walks me until my back meets the wall, and he slides his tongue between my lips, another groan searing past his and into mine.

He kisses me like this for I don’t even know how long. Seconds. Minutes. Years. It’s deep and thorough, and when he pulls away, I’m more than a little dazed.

“There,” he murmurs against me, stealing another peck. “Better.”

“Huh?”

“I could hear your mind swimming laps from inside Fen’s room, but more than that, I’ve been dying to kiss you again all afternoon and evening. But speaking of swimming, I believe I promised you something earlier I intend to make good on.”

With one hand holding mine and the other the monitor, he walks me downstairs and out the back door that leads to the pool area. It’s a dark night with only a sliver of a moon to see by. Crickets serenade us in time to the music of the tide coming and going from the rocky beach. The warm breeze rustles my hair, and I take a moment to absorb all of this.

Not Loomis necessarily, but being out here on this island with nothing but the moon and the stars in the endless sky and the ocean that’s just as vast. It’s daunting and humbling at the same time, and believe it or not, it sets me at ease.

There’s so much beauty and potential in this world, all we have to do is be open to accepting it. I’m not sure I have been until now. Always scared. Always cautious. Always trying to figure out what’s coming next. What would happen if, for a change, I didn’t?

A swell of freedom curls through me and brings a smile to my lips. A rising within me.

My wrist is healing, and I’m writing words I love and… I don’t know what I’m doing about the hospital and my residency yet, and I certainly don’t know about the guy holding my hand and leading me to the pool, but that’s okay. For now, it’s okay. Because no matter what, I have myself, and I’m smart andcapable, and the answers I need will come to me whenever they’re ready to. Rushing them would be foolhardy.

Releasing Loomis’s hand, I pull off the tank top and shorts I have over my bikini, and without glancing over my shoulder, I walk down the steps into the pool. The water is slick and warm, a cocoon of heat that wraps around me like a second skin. I hear him follow me seconds before his hands meet my hips under the water and his lips the crook of my neck.

“Do we ever have to go back?” he muses.

“Unfortunately, but thankfully not yet.”

He points over my shoulder. “Orion.” His finger moves to the right. “Canis Major. It’s one of my favorites. It looks like a dog, hence its name. Do you see it?” He outlines it with his finger.