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“No. You don’t. Because I was young and heartbroken and overwhelmed and suffering from enormous depression. I wasn’t even thirty and suddenly had three young boys to raise alone after the man I loved left me. I had no education, no real job experience, and any jobs I found weren’t enough to feed you boys and keep us in a safe home. So if I said things like that, they came from a dark place in my soul. That was heartache speaking, not reality.”

“Mum…” I trail off, not knowing how to respond.

“Oh, Loomis. I did so many things wrong with you boys and failed you in so many ways.”

“You did the best you could, Mum.” My voice is hoarse. “We knew how hard it was and who was to blame for it. Not you.”

“Please tell me you haven’t been shutting yourself off to women and love because I said something I shouldn’t have one dark day when life got to be a little too much.”

That gives me pause. “It was a pretty powerful conversation. You made me swear to it. But it wasn’t a hard one to do. I saw how broken you were over Dad and how hard things were for you and us. And then when I became famous, it only made more sense.”

She blusters out a noise and curses under her breath, and tears start to fall down her cheeks. “Listen to me, boy, and listen carefully. If I hadn’t had your father, I wouldn’t have had you boys, and you’re all worth a hundred heartaches he gave me. I don’t regret your father or the pain after. You’re worth it. It just took me a very long time to accept the rest.” She wipes her face. “I’m so sorry I said that to you. I was wrong to. Sometimes parents make mistakes or say the wrong thing without realizing how far they reach. Not all love ends that way, boy. Some loves last a lifetime, and in order to find something like that, you have to be willing to risk everything, especially your heart.”

I don’t have words. I barely have breath.

“If this Keegan is the real deal, don’t fight it. Love her. No one deserves it more than you and Fen, and nothing would make me happier.”

I lick my lips and force a nod. I don’t know how to make sense of that. I saw her heartache. I felt it. We all did, and I believed her words to me that day. I lived them. Died by them. But now… how do I reconcile that those might have just been the words of a sad, scared, and depressed woman and not a moral code to abide by?

I want to. I know I do. I feel it in my gut.

“Promise me, Loomis. Promise me you’ll forget the rubbish I said. Promise me that if this girl holds your heart and covets it well, you’ll let her keep it. And that you’ll take hers in return and hold it beside yours.”

“Mum.”

“I mean it, boy.”

“I…” I swallow hard. “Yes, Mum, I promise.”

“Good. Now,” she continues, back to business mode. “I wanted to let you know that I can come out to Boston for a week or two when you start filming to help you out until you can find a proper nanny to take over.”

Relief hits me straight in the gut, and for now I push down the uneasy swell of emotions her words surged within me. I had asked her if she’d do that weeks ago before I even left the UK. My mum does not like to fly under any circumstances, but clearly, she’s willing to make an exception for her boys, as she put it.

I practically sag back into the chair. “That would be incredible, Mum. Thank you. I’m so grateful. It’s a huge load off my chest.” It also means I need a bigger flat for sure, which I should do anyway, and have us in a safer, more secure building. I’ll get my assistant on that today.

“I figured. Now let me get a better look at my grandson. Pull the phone back. All I can see is the underside of your double chin.”

I snicker. “I do not have a double chin.”

“Says you. I’m looking at it.”

Regardless, I do as she says when my phone rings in with another call. The studio. Buggar. “Mum, it’s the studio. I’ve got to go. I’ll ring you back later.”

She waves me away and blows a kiss to Fen, and then I switch over and answer the incoming call.

“Hello?”

“Ah, Loomis, so glad I caught you. This is Mel Simson, and I have a few others in the room with me.”

“Hi. Good morning. Sorry, just give me one moment if you would so I can get to a quiet place.” Because Fen is anything but quiet. He’s singing and chirping almost directly into the phone as he tries to grab it and eat it. I put them on mute and head for the door, bringing Fen with me. “Keegan?” I call out, not knowing if she’s still in the bathroom or already downstairs.

“Yeah?” she calls back from her bedroom.

“The studio is on the phone. Can I hand Fen off to you?”

“Of course.” She pops out of her room with a big smile, and I’m relieved to see our tense moment from this morning is no longer visible in her eyes. “Give him to me. He can help me decide what to wear today and what to pack for our overnight.”

I set him down, and he goes racing right for her, practically jumping up, desperate to be in her arms. I know the feeling.