Page 80
Story: Undeniably Unexpected
Fair. I have a publishing contract and over a dozen books published, so fuck Trevor.
“The night you saw me skipping outside the coffee shop…” I hold up my braced wrist. “I had just gotten a publishing deal with a big romance imprint.”
“Holy hell. That’s seriously impressive.” He raises his glass to me, and I laugh, clinking mine with his. “Congratulations, my beautiful, clever little mermaid. I am in awe of you. That said, I wish you had told me from the start, and it makes me sad that you feel you have to hide something so important.”
I shrug. “I’m working on it. Telling you was part of it, and I think this publishing deal really put into perspective that I’m proud of what I write and what I do and that I can’t let fear of others’ opinions and their thoughts of me yuck my yum.”
He smiles at that before it just as quickly fades. “Someone made you feel like that?”
I nod, not trusting my voice. The memory of Trevor’s disdain still stings, even years later.
Loomis sets his glass down with careful deliberation. “Well, they’re bloody idiots, then, weren’t they? What you do is magic, Keegan.”
“You haven’t read them yet.” I laugh.
He rolls his eyes. “I don’t have to to know they’re good. I know you. I know your mind. I know what you’re capable of.”
The sincerity in his voice makes my eyes sting. I blink rapidly, looking away toward the ocean, now a vast darkness beyond the balcony rail, marked only by the distant lights of boats.
“Thank you,” I manage. “It means more than you know.”
“Can I read them?”
I smile. “Sure. I’ll send you a signed copy.”
“I mean it. Now that I know your pen name, I plan to buy the lot of them and read them all. And you know Tinsley will be all over that.”
“She’s read them. All my girls have.”
Now he laughs. “And Tinsley didn’t tell me?! I tell her everything. Even how I’m bloody well falling for you.”
My pulse quickens. “What?”
He startles and stops, the humor draining from his face as he stares at me with an intensity that stalls my breath. “Keegan… I…”
He trails off, and I don’t know what to say. The way he’s looking at me has me too nervous to do anything.
“Fuck it.” He takes a breath, then sets his glass down, and I notice his hands are trembling slightly. “This arrangement,” he begins, waving a finger vaguely between us. “It started as something... transactional, I guess you’d call it. Good for my image and good for Fen, good for you with Alden. But somewhere along the way—” He cuts himself off and runs a hand through his hair, the gesture endearingly nervous for someone whose face regularly appears on thirty-foot-highcinema screens. “Somewhere along the way, I stopped acting. And I’m rather afraid I’ve… that is, I think I’ve fallen in love with you.”
My jaw drops. “You think?”
He chuckles lightly, remembering that it’s the word Alden used when he said it to me. “Yeah, it’s a lot more than think. I’m in love with you. With all of you. Every piece I find is more perfect than the last.” He meets my eyes directly. “I know you might not be there with me, and I know I’m far from perfect in return and come with a million tons of baggage. Baggage you might not want any part of. But I’ve never said those words to anyone the way I’m saying them to you, and I’ve certainly never done this before. I’m terrified out of my skull. In case you can’t tell.” He laughs in a self-deprecating way, rambling as he does every time he gets nervous. “But I guess what I’m trying to rather inarticulately say is that I don't want this to be fake anymore. I want it to be real. I want us to be real. I want you to be mine because I’m already yours.”
The words hit me with a physical force. My breath catches, my mind spins, and I’m stuck between disbelief and a joy so intense it borders on terror.
“Loomis, I—” I start, then stop, unable to find the right words. “This is... I don’t know what to say.”
It’s so wild. I told Alden I loved him, and yet… no. Not even close. Alden was never right for me. We were always missing something. That inexplicable piece. This… this right here. Holy shit. Is this actually happening?
“Y-you don’t have to say anything right now,” he stutters, quickly shuttering the disappointment I just caught in his eyes. “I know it’s sudden and complicated and probably terrible timing. I just, fuck, Keegan, I can’t keep pretending. Not anymore. Not with you. I did that for so long. You might not feel the same?—”
A laugh bubbles up from somewhere inside me, cutting him off. “Loomis, I’ve been falling for you since we first met. I mean, I loved the movie star, but when I metyou, I was struck on an entirely different level. I’ve been fighting it every step of the way because I was convinced this could never happen. I assumed you’d never be interested in me and that this thing between us is only sex because I’m there, and it’s fun. Especially when you’ve told me countless times that you don’t get involved with women and you don’t do relationships.”
“That wasn’t a lie or a line or a way for me to give myself an out. It was true. When you came out to LA, I was distant for a reason. I wanted to be with you, but I also knew if I let you in, you’d own me, and I couldn’t have that. Not then. Now it’s too late. Youownme. What can I say?” He shrugs. “You’ve changed everything. All of it. All of me. I can’t run or hide from it, and I want you more than I want to hang onto my fear. I’ve already told you this, but I’m not sure you heard me or believed me. Keegan, do you have any idea how extraordinary you are? How extraordinaryIthink you are? God, darling, I’m absolutely mad about you.”
Loomis rises to cross the space between our chairs. He takes my glass from my hand and sets it on the small table next to me before he takes my face in his hands and kisses me like I’ve never been kissed before, abolishing any further doubt I had.
25
Table of Contents
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