Page 67

“Second date? I didn’t know we had a first,” I laugh, so content in the moment I feel like I could cry.

“Our hike. Did you forget already?”

“That was a date?”

“The concept of a date is the boy asks if you’d like to go and do something with him, and the girl either accepts or declines. Lucky for me, you accepted.”

A date. Huh. I don’t think I’ve ever been on one. I mean I’ve hung out … and hooked up, but date? A warm feeling begins to build in the center of my chest. It’s light and happy.

“You know what I’ve always thought would be fun to do on a second date?” I ask, knowing full well I’ve never given dating a thought until this very moment. I’m just winging it, dipping my toe in the water.

He pushes me away gently so he can see my face. “What? Come on. I need to hear it.”

Ash wants to know me. Not just my flesh but my soul.

“Dancing in the rain.”

He hits himself in the head like he should have thought of it first. He stands and picks me up off my feet, tossing me over his shoulder as if I weigh nothing.

“Ash!” I squeal, laughing. “We don’t even have shoes on.”

“We don’t need them.”

It’s pouring by the time he sets me on my feet. We blink at each other for a few seconds before he runs a hand over his face. “Can I have this dance?” he asks, looking a bit nervous, like I might say no.

I glance back at the cabin, the light from within spilling out over the wet spongy grass. Something I can’t quite explain washes over me. A fresh start, a cleansing of my soul. I’m not sure, but I’m suddenly filled with a hope I can’t explain. It’s not Ash. It’s not just Ash. It’s more than that.

His eyes follow my hand as I raise it, holding it out to him. He takes it, and I swear I’ll never let go. Not of him … or this … whatever this is.

He pulls me close, and we dance. Slow, fast, and everything in between. We jump in every puddle we can find just to see who can make the biggest splash. We’re like two little kids.

“Why did we think it would be more enjoyable to stay inside?” I ask him.

“I don’t know. I forgot how much fun it was to play in the rain. Thank you for reminding me.” He traces my bottom lip with his thumb, his brows pulling together. “It’s getting cold, though. Your lips are turning blue. We should go in and get warmed up.”

“I think we have hot cocoa,” I say, bouncing on my toes to keep warm.

Again, he picks me up and tosses me over his shoulder. “Shit yeah!”

“I have two feet,” I laugh, holding on to the back of his wet shirt.

Ash and I immediately begin to strip out of our soaked clothes as soon as the door closes behind us. “Two left feet,” he jokes.

“Hey.” I pretend to be wounded, placing my hand over my heart. “I never once said I knew how to dance.”

His gaze trails my hand, and his cheeks flush. Suddenly, I’m very aware we are standing in nothing but our underclothes.

The moment stretches between us in silence. I’ve never been so acutely aware of another human’s pulse before. Ash has always been real with me, and right now is no different. He’s not hiding his attraction to me.

Something strange begins to happen, and I notice my own body’s reaction to his attention. My heart takes a slight pause in an attempt to sync with his. Even the inhale of my breath waits patiently, hoping to catch his exhale.

I’ve never imagined being intimate with Ash. I wouldn’t allow myself to. Now, without any future predictions, I’m not sure which way to turn. If I give him my body now, it might be too soon. Will he think badly of me? Will he sleep with me and then leave? Instantly I feel guilty, because I know Ash isn’t like that. He’s special.

This is the first time I’ve even debated having sex with someone. Why was it always so easy with a stranger or someone who only wanted me for one thing?

Why does this feel like a big decision?

If I’m honest with myself, I know why. Once I give myself to someone like Ash, there will be no going back. My life will change forever, because it’s inevitable. I’ll never hurt this man by going back to the old me. So if I do this, it’s either all or nothing.