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He pats my hand, recognizing the panic on my face. “He’ll be here in a minute.”

My gaze bounces around as I continue to hold him with one hand, my other frantically trying to tame my wild hair. I must look hideous. Ash can’t see me like this!

“Um, can I just go with you guys? You could drop me at JD’s.”

Dirk stands up and walks over. He pries my fingers from Raffe’s arm. “I’ll meet you guys downstairs.”

I jump up and start dressing, holding on to the hope they’ll take me with them. It’s not that I don’t want to see Ash. Of course I do, just not like this.

Dirk takes my bag from me and sets it on the bed. “Stop. You’re not going with us.”

“Look at me!” I point to my face.

“Ash has seen you with your head in the toilet.”

He’s right. “But that was before …” I pause, taking a deep breath. I’ll never get through to Dirk if I’m acting crazy. I need to remain calm. “If Ash is really interested in something more, I can’t let him see me like this.”

Dirk drags his gaze over me lazily before pointing to the bed. “Sit.”

I do. Calmly. Demurely.

He crouches down in front of me. “I’m going to let you in on a little secret.”

Another deep breath. Ash is going to be here soon. I need to be gone before he arrives. I struggle to bring my focus back to Dirk … the only thing standing between me and the front door.

“Men don’t give two fucks about that shit you ladies put on your face.” He wags an inked finger in front of my eyes.

I open my mouth to argue, but he holds up his hand to silence me. “What are you feeling right now?”

“I’m freaking out because I’m uncomfortable when I don’t have my hair and makeup done.”

“That’s on you, and you need to work through that. Don’t put that on Ash.”

“I want him to see me at my best.” I switch tactics, sticking my bottom lip out in a pout.

He just laughs and shakes his head. “Your best isn’t reflected by the way you look. It’s dictated by what this thing puts out.” He taps his fingers over my heart. “Last night, when you were there for Raffe, that’s your best. It has nothing to do with this.” Again, his hand waves over my face.

It’s clear I’m not going to win this battle. “I’ll just hide out here in my room,” I say, sounding every ounce like a petulant child.

Dirk stands and heads toward the steps. “Stay up here all you want. You’ll eventually have to take a piss.” He shrugs, not in the least bit worried about my predicament. “Remember what I said about running off.”

Even though I want to rip his eyeballs out of his head for leaving me here, I’m sad over the reason why. “I’m sorry about your sister,” I say quietly as he takes the first step.

He doesn’t turn to look at me, but he pauses. “Me too.”

As soon as he’s at the bottom of the stairs, I panic. I quickly toss my things in my bag to follow after him. They can’t make me stay here. When my foot hits the second stair, I hear Ash’s voice.Fuck. It’s too late! I drop to my ass on the step so they can’t see me.

“Is everything okay with Raffe?” I hear Ash ask.

“He’s got some personal stuff going on. We’ll share soon; we just need to take care of a few things. When the time comes, Raffe’s going to need to lean on the club for a while.”

What about him? I know Dirk’s strong, but I know he’s got to be hurting too. He just found out his sister is dying.

“Whatever he needs, brother. I owe you guys everything for helping Lexie and me.”

Lexie and me.

He says it like we’ve always shared the same sentence.