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“No,” I tell him honestly.

“You’ve got to figure out why it is you feel that way, Lex. Because it’s simply not true.”

He gently places the items in the box before handing it back to me, and then he points to the stairs.

They both tell me goodnight as I pass them, Jesse even gives my hand a squeeze.

When I get upstairs, I drop the box on the bed, taking out the little wooden Toto. I hold it next to my stuffed one.

I’m sure Ash saw it on my bed. The same way Elizabeth spotted it, and knew it meant something to me.

My eyes fall closed, and I click my heels. “There’s no place like home,” I whisper.

I laugh at myself, because of course it doesn’t work.

I fall back onto the bed, thinking about everything that happened today. My captors’ conversation drifts up the stairs, and for some reason it comforts me. Just hearing their voices makes me feel not quite so alone. Dirk is a straight up asshole, but that in itself eases my anxiety. I don’t understand it. It’s weird.

Maybe it’s because he’s so honest.

Chapter Five

Ash

Istare at the envelopes I’ve laid out across my bed. There’s no way to tell their chronological order because there’s no postmark.

Why didn’t she mail them?

My next thought is does she even know that I have them? What would her reaction be if she did?

I asked Jackson about it, but his only response was that they were addressed to me and therefore mine. Even so, it doesn’t sit right with me.

The sheer number of letters tells me what I need to know. Her mind has been on me.

I’m not naïve. I know what she’s been doing while I’ve been in treatment. Same thing she did when I wasn’t. She doesn’t owe me anything. We’re not a couple. I did my best to help her, but I could barely keep my own head above water.

In a way, she forced me to come here. To get better. I know, I know, it should have been enough to do it for myself, but itwasn’t. Really, it doesn’t matter. I see all that now. The bottom line is because of her, I’m here.

It’s given me time to think, to process.

When I got home from my time in the service, I was immediately thrown into the nightmare of finding out my sister had run away, only to discover years later that none of it was true. Our own mother had sold her for drugs, and she had been trafficked.

I had so many plans for us when I returned. We were going to buy some land and get the fuck out of the city. All of that happened, I guess, but not how I envisioned it. That’s one thing I’ve had to come to terms with while I’ve been here.

Once we were reunited, and things seemed good … no, not seemed, things were good. Anyway, that’s when my system started to relax, but it didn’t make me calm. It made me crazy. I started to think about all the things I’d suppressed, both while in the military and at home. Drinking was my way of drowning it out.

I can’t explain what it was about Lexie that caught my eye. That’s a lie. I know what it was. It was her weakness. The fact that she was alone … vulnerable. The same thing other guys see. I understand fully why the guys she hooks up with see her as an easy way to get what they’re looking for, but it doesn’t make it right. In fact, it makes me murderous. They’re little boys with no moral fortitude.

Yeah, I get that I’m not the best person to speak about morals, but one thing my dad taught me was how to treat a lady.

Maybe that’s why my mom spiraled out of control when my dad died. There was no better man than him. He treated my mom like a queen, and my baby sister like the princess she is.

I drum my fingers over the letters, anxious to get back home. I’m going to treat Lexie like she deserves. No one has ever done that for her.

Jackson said she seems comfortable with JD’s new wife. That story in itself is nuts, but I’m anxious to meet this woman. If she broke through to Lex, then I need her on my side. I guess JD and Elizabeth got her set up at the cabin, but they had prior commitments, so Dirk and Jesse are there with her now.

It makes me nervous. Not that they aren’t great people. Dirk and Jesse are amazing. I just don’t know how well Lexie will handle being trapped with them in the mountains. I’m worried she’ll run. The girl has zero survival skills. None.

Jackson also told me they are making her open the packages I’ve sent. That’s a relief. It was the only way I had to try and reach her while I was away. I know she likes handwritten letters, but I’m not sure that’s my forte. That’s why I’m using what I have at my disposal.