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My face falls faster than I can correct it, and Ash frowns.

“It’s not that I don’t want to go out with you. I just don’t want to go out there, you know, into the world.”

“That’s okay. We can stay in. I’m okay hanging out with you here.”

“Thank you,” I whisper, resting my head on his shoulder.

“I’ve been worried about you.”

“I know. I’m sorry my parents kept you away, but I didn’t have it in me to argue with them. I’ve been really … tired,” I tell him, not wanting him to know how out of it I have really been.

He pushes me off his lap gently. “Sit forward. I bet your stiff from being in bed so much.”

The minute his fingertips dig into my shoulders, I let out an embarrassing groan.

“Ah ha. It was a good thing I stopped by when I did. You’re all knotted up.”

“Oh my god, that feels so good.”

I can hear the smile in his voice when he says, “How did you survive without me?”

I’m already too relaxed to respond to his flirting.

By the time JD and Elizabeth come inside for lunch, I’m a giant bowl of mush.

“Do you want me to carry you to bed?” Ash asks.

I nod, unable to open my eyes.

Elizabeth and JD both laugh lightly. “She looks so peaceful,” I hear Elizabeth say.

I am. This is the best I’ve felt in a very long time.

All without drugs. Ash and his hands are the only medicine I need.

Chapter Forty-Four

Lexie

Ipanic when I hear his truck pull in. “Oh my god! He’s early,” I tell Elizabeth.

“Calm down. I’ll tell Jacob to keep him entertained for a few minutes.”

She leaves but returns moments later. “He said they’ll be outside. No hurry, hun.”

“I just can’t get it right.” I pull the pin from my hair, tears of frustration stinging my eyes.

Elizabeth places her hands on my shoulders, looking at me in the mirror. “Take a deep breath. What are you nervous about?”

“I don’t know.”

“Maybe you’re just excited. It’s the same feeling, you know. It’s just how you perceive it. So, let me rephrase my question. What are you excited about?” She gathers my hair in her hands and twists it perfectly.

“I’m excited to see him, but I’m nervous, too.” I hand her the pin Ash made me.

“You’re here at home. There’s nothing to worry about, and if you feel overwhelmed, just let him know. Ash will understand.” She leans over and kisses the top of my head. “Remember, Jacob and I will be close by.”

Elizabeth is everything I’ve ever wanted in a mother. “Your daughter was lucky to have you as a mom, even if she doesn’t know it.”