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“I’m done with the dishes. I was wondering if my parents had reached out to Jackson yet.”

Dirk pulls out his phone, and his fingers quickly fly over the screen. He gets a response back in a few short seconds.

“No. He hasn’t heard from them. Are you sure they were coming back today?” he asks.

“Yeah. I wasn’t lying.”

He and Jesse exchange a look. “Why don’t you shower, and then we have some things I want to talk to you about.”

My head falls back on my shoulders. This sucks! I don’t want to talk to them.

“Now.”

This time I do stomp up the stairs. I mean, I’ve been doing what he asked. Can’t they give me some space? I’m an adult for fucks sake! I angrily grab my clothes and head back downstairs.

Dirk laughs at me. “We’ve raised one angry teenager already, so you’re not going to faze us. But while you’re in the bathroom, why don’t you take a look in the mirror and think about coming back out as the adult I know you can be.”

His words sucker punch me in the gut.

I’m torn between this feeling of being a responsible person, and … ah, it’s so hard to explain. My brain never fucking shutsoff. I set my clothes on the counter and stare at my reflection. I haven’t showered since yesterday morning. I feel utterly gross, but I know the shower won’t take that feeling away.

I turn my back on myself and step under the water. It’s ridiculous I’m even here. I should go out there and demand they take me home. I’ll lose my mind here.

And that’s exactly what I’m prepared to do when I’m standing in front of them, but it evaporates into thin air when I see what he’s holding.

“Open it.” Dirk grabs my wrists and places the small box in the palm of my hands.

“I … I don’t want to.”

“Why not?”

When I don’t answer, he stands up and walks me to sit in the chair beside the fireplace. It cocoons me with a feeling of safety. Before he returns to his seat, he tosses me a small blanket.

I wrap myself up in it, thankful to have something to hide myself behind.

“Now, why don’t you want to open it?”

I flip it in my hands, wishing I could toss it in the fire, because there’s no way I’m getting out of here without opening this stupid thing.

“It seems silly to be scared. Ash hasn’t been harassing you, has he?”

“No,” I answer immediately. I don’t want them to think bad about Ash. He’s the nicest person I’ve ever met.

“Then why?”

“I don’t know,” I say, rubbing my thumb over the return address on the box. “I was going to, but then they just sort of piled up on the table.”

“Just like you kept writing him letters and left them to pile up on your dresser?”

I nod, dropping my eyes to the box.

“I want you to think about that real hard, because if you can answer truthfully, it’ll be easier for you to recognize the next time you think about self-sabotaging.”

Fine. He’s right. It’s just a package from Ash. It’s no big deal. It’s not like it’s going to bite me. I pull the tape from the box and slide the lid off. My heart stops beating, and my mouth falls open.

I don’t know what I thought I would find inside, but this was not it.

It slaps me in the face. Now I know why I didn’t want to open it. I was trying to avoid the way he makes me feel. Like, it’s too much. What do I have to give him in return? I don’t have anything to offer other than the one thing he refuses to take from me.