Page 41 of Total Shutdown

“Stop shrugging,” I demand.

She does it again and grins wide. “I’m sorry. I just love pushing your buttons. It’s fun.”

I lean in a little further, pleased when I see the way her skin pebbles. “I think you do it to distance yourself from me. It’s a safety mechanism and your default setting.”

I know I’m taking a huge leap—for myself and Ezra. A large part of me fears this could all end in disaster, though a smaller—and louder—part drives my actions to follow Archer’s advice.

“I have to work early each morning,” she replies.

“I can have you home well before bedtime.”

She flushes at that, and I release her chin, my hands going straight to my pockets, curling into fists as I wait on her decision.

“Will you tell Ezra?” Collins asks.

“Why?” I question.

She twists her lips to the side as she looks away, and I let her have a second. I’m intrigued about everything that goes on in her mind, but especially now, when it comes to thoughts of my son.

“I’ll go ononedate with you, but I don’t want to complicate things with Ezra. If I keep on the way I’m going, I’ll be looking for a new job, likely outside of New York.”

I hoped she would agree to a date, and I fully expected her to offer me only one. What I didn’t anticipate was the way she’d prioritized my son in all of this.

I feel myself falling further, my lips desperate to touch hers.

The final words of her sentence sit less comfortably though. Thoughts of how temporary she likes to keep everything in her life stick in my throat. It’s true; I don’t know what this is between us—though I sure as shit wouldn’t be putting myself on the line like this if it didn’t feel real.

“What do you mean,keep on the way I’m going? Is something wrong?” I ask, expecting to be shut down straight away.

She blows out a short, sharp laugh. “Just me being me, pissing off bosses and generally being a pain-in-the-ass employee. Plus, rent’s getting expensive here, so I’ll probably give notice on the lease.”

I can’t tell if these are genuine issues or if she’s already talking herself out of seeing me.

I opt to play it cool. “So, what I’m hearing is, you’re not just a brat with me?”

The tension building between us is seismic, crackling each time one of us moves an inch.

“What I’m saying is, I’ll go out with you, but I won’t promise anything beyond that.”

I work to keep my body language unaffected. “I can take us somewhere private so you won’t be recognized or photographed.”

She quirks a questioning brow. “If I cared about that anymore, I wouldn’t have let you touch me or pose as my boyfriend last Wednesday night. Besides, if they catch a photo of us again, then I’m sure I’ll be forgotten in a week or two.”

I remain silent. I don’t like the thought of this girl being forgotten, not one fucking bit. She’s anything but forgettable.

“I guess this is what you have to ask yourself, Sawyer: are you okay with Ezra potentially seeing us alone together and asking you questions?”

He already has, right after he searched for your social media profile.

“If he sees something and asks, I’ll tell him we’re friends,” I reply. “Because that’s the truth, right?”

She offers a tight nod. “Yes.”

Her breath fans my face, a familiar scent washing over me, fueling my desire to take her mouth and prove the bullshit in that statement.

We aren’t friends.

“You have to protect Ezra first,” Collins adds, softness in her eyes.