Page 15 of Total Shutdown

The only reason I’m here, in Lloyd’s Bar, right now is for my girls. Kendra and Jenna just got named in the national squad, and I know how much this means to Kendra. She’d been trying to break into Team USA for a while, and injuries held her back. Understandably, they want to celebrate, and I’m not about to bail on them after the game because I’m avoiding Sawyer Bryce.

He denied even knowing me.

I don’t know who snapped the photo or why they waited a week to post it—maybe because they knew it was a dickhead thing to do, but couldn’t resist in the end. Regardless of how the images got out, I’m pissed.

The look on Sawyer’s face when he casually brushed me aside a few days ago was beyond cold.

I get it; we agreed to keep it just between us—it’s what I wanted.

That’s what he needs to do, not just for him, but for Ezra too.

Not acknowledging that night was what I’d told him I wanted.

Right?

Ugh, why is life so fucking confusing? And why am I even bothered at all? I figured I’d meant more to him than a complete denial of my existence—or at least, I thought his face would portray some kind of emotion when he thought about me.

Maybe that night was forgettable. Maybe I was a six out of ten too?

MaybeI need to get a goddamn grip on myself and stop being emotional over something that isn’t all that important.

When Jack slides into the booth next to Kendra and holds her face between his hands, the knot that was forming in my stomach tightens just a little more.

I drop my gaze right as Archer sits down, wrapping his big arm around my shoulders.

“Has anyone seen this pink-haired girl before? Evidently, she doesn’t exist.”

“Has anyone seen Archer’s sense of humor?” I pick up my cocktail and take a sip. “He seems to have misplaced it.”

Opposite me, Jenna snorts softly. “I don’t think I can imagine my life without you in it, Collins. You have to stay in New York forever.”

I’m ready to tell her I’ll be here for as long as I have a job when Sawyer joins us at the end of the booth. I promised myself I wouldn’t look at him tonight, but my eyes betray me for the briefest second as we lock on each other.

He’s wearing the same dark blue suit he wore the last time we were here—the one I tossed on his bedroom floor.

I shift my attention back to Jenna and Kendra. “I’ll be the first to congratulate you both on making the squad. It’s absolutely deserved.” My attention lands on everyone but the broody captain I can feel watching me. “Great win tonight against the league leaders too.”

I feel awkward—the whole atmosphere does tonight—and I know it has everything to do with my mood. I should be grateful Sawyer denied knowing me and had his agent pull the images.

“Actually, while I have you all together”—Jack’s British accent cuts through the tension—“Darcy is visiting next week, and we wanted to invite you guys over to our place for dinner. She has some kind of announcement she won’t tell me over the phone.”

Ten seconds ago, I’d have said I was easily the most uncomfortable person sitting at this table, but from the way Archer’s arm tenses at the mention of Jack’s baby sister, I’d hazard that award might go to him.

“What day next week? I’ll need to check if Dom and Alyssa can have Ezra,” Sawyer asks.

It’s the first time I’ve heard him speak since he stormed out of the interview in Colorado, and I can’t help but glance at him again.

He keeps his focus on Jack.

“On Saturday night. She’s staying at our place for five nights and then heading back to Oxford,” Jack confirms.

“And it’s a British-themed night with shepherd’s pie and trifle for dessert.” Kendra sits back in the booth, gazing off into a food-induced fantasy.

“I can’t make it,” I blurt out, all eyes darting to me. I guess that did come out kind of weird. “I have a thing on that night.”

Even weirder.

“What thing?” On a frown, Kendra sits forward, looking kind of hurt that I don’t share the same enthusiasm for what is essentially minced meat, potatoes, and a few scattered peas.