Page 21 of Total Shutdown

Collins climbs onto the bike and reaches behind her, unlocking a box fixed to the back. She pulls out her helmet and smooths a hand down her hair.

“I said it would be hard to part with her, not that it would never happen. Giving anything a name makes saying goodbye all the more difficult.”

She turns to my son, who’s still busy taking photos, a warmth in her eyes. “It was nice to meet you, Ezra. Maybe I’ll see you around again sometime.”

With one motion, she starts the bike, and the engine roars to life.

I scrub a hand over my jaw and summon all the gross thoughts I can conjure. Anything to counter the visual of her kick-starting that bike.

“I guess I won’t see you on Saturday since you’ll be heading to the event in Vegas, right?”

She pulls her helmet on, wavy pink strands falling below it and resting on her shoulders.

Collins shifts into gear, glancing at me briefly. “Correct.” She’s grinning—I can tell by the creases forming around her eyes. “I guess I’ll see you when I see you. Or not.”

* * *

“All right,that’s enough screen time for tonight. Go brush your teeth and head up to bed.” I thumb over my shoulder toward the stairs.

Without any kind of protest, Ezra slides off the barstool, where he sat for the past half hour, staring at his laptop, and heads straight upstairs.

As his foot lands on the first step, I set the plate I wiped on the kitchen counter.

“You didn’t tell me how soccer practice was,” I quickly say before he’s out of earshot.

He pauses, looking uninspired, and my heart sinks a little further. There has to be at least one sport he enjoys. I can barely get him to my own hockey games.

“It was fine,” he replies unenthusiastically.

I flip the towel I was using over my shoulder and walk toward him. “Kendra told me you’re a natural. Especially in goal.” Which I guess is unsurprising, given he’s way taller than average height for his age.

Ezra knocks his knuckles against the wooden handrail. “Why did you lie?”

Not where I thought this conversation was heading.

“What do you mean?”

He drops his shoulders, frustrated with my denial. But I honestly have no idea what he’s talking about.

“About Collins. I saw the pictures that were posted online, but you never once said anything to me. You just denied even knowing her on TV.”

I hoped my agent had gotten to the pictures before Ezra or his friends noticed them. He rarely watches my games, let alone post-match interviews, so I figured I could let this one slide.

Obviously not.

“Is she your girlfriend?” he asks before I get a chance to respond.

The word hits me like a ten-ton truck, knocking me right off guard. He’s been quiet since the second we said bye to Collins, but I chalked it up to him being tired from practice. Clearly, his mind was on something else.

It’s the first time he’s asked me about another woman. We’ve talked about his mom, but not in too much detail. When he asks questions, I give him answers and show him the photos I have of her, including the ones of Sophie holding him as a baby. I just never anticipated a time when he would ask me about anyone else. I guess because I never thought that time would come.

“Collins is Kendra’s friend; she’s been to a few of our games, and that night, I was walking her back home since she lives in the same area as us,” I answer the question, praying he doesn’t interrogate me further.

I hate lying to him, but I really don’t want him to know about our hookup. It’s not information a twelve-year-old needs to know. The pictures must’ve been taken in the dark and without a flash; otherwise, I’d have noticed it at the time and asked the asshole to respect our privacy.

Ezra rolls his lips together, deep in thought. “If you knew her and she’s a friend, then why did you lie and act like she was nothing?”

The pissed look on Collins’s face that night outside the bus stop is right in front of me as I take questions from my son. I didn’t want to deny her existence like she was some kind of stranger; it felt wrong to me, too, but seriously, what choice did I have?