Page 27

“Fine. If that’s what you want, then I’ll leave.”

A flash of panic shines in her golden gaze, but she doesn’t move to stop me. She doesn’t say or do anything other than pinch her lips into a thin line and stare at me.

In jerky uncoordinated movements I get dressed and shove my rope and belongings back into my bag. Bambi follows at a distance behind me as I make my way through her apartment. Only when I have everything in my hands and stand at the door to leave do I stop. Looking back at her over my shoulder, hoping she tells me to stay, that she changed her mind, and she will go with me.

She doesn’t do either. She doesn’t do anything, dropping her eyes to the floor when I don’t look away first. I think I see a tear roll down her cheek, but she turns her head away from me and I can’t tell.

I suppose it’s better this way. We shouldn’t have started whatever this was in the first place. It’s better to break it off and be done with it. But I have to say something. She has to know that no matter what happens or what she thinks of me, I always loved her and always will.

“You may think I only think of myself, but you should know there’s always been one other person I never stopped thinking about Bambi. And no matter what she says, it was never just lust, and it wasn’t a mistake.”

I’m not sure if my meaning gets through to her because she turns her head further away from me, burying it in the fluffy collar of her robe.

My hand fists around the strap of my bag and I itch to turn around and stay, but don’t. Instead, I face the door and open it, knowing it’ll most likely be the last time I ever step through it again.

~

A day of pure agony passes after I leave Bambi’s apartment. I barely sleep and the dinner at Gigi’s is awkward. Thankfully everyone thinks it’s because of my leaving rather than the secret relationship and breakup between me and Bambi.

I think Gigi suspects something because she eyes me then Bambi before narrowing her eyes at me again and probably looking into my soul seeing everything I keep hidden.

Dawn comes quick, or at least the time that is normally dawn but is still dark because of the season, comes quick. Everyone is out on the dock, wrapped in jackets and blankets and sleepyeyed. All except Bambi. She doesn’t look like she slept at all, still wearing the same clothes she was last night. She stays at the back of the group while everyone else presses forward.

“I can’t believe you’re actually leaving,” Izzy mumbles, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “You have to come back and visit. I don’t care what you said before, you have to.”

“We’ll see,” I say, because I know saying no will just make her argue more.

I give her a tight hug and memorize her knowing smile and tangled blonde hair. She’s been this way since grade school, and I realize how much she’s changed since then. Growing from the string bean bossy pants, to the class president and prom queen, and now to the still bossy, charity planning, and committee heading woman. I suppose I’ll have to come back when she finally decides to marry James. I would be a real ass and horrible friend if I didn’t.

“You better, or I’ll have to come find you,” Owen interjects as Izzy steps back allowing her brother to take her place.

Owen hugs me, and not just a bro side hug, but a full embrace with a matching back slap.

“You’re welcome to come find me whenever you want. You’re always welcome on my boat.”

“I may just do that. It would be nice to leave the freezing cold for a warm beach and babes in bikinis.”

I internally cringe. Not only do I not want to babe watch at the beach but that had to hurt Bambi as well. And since I can’t exactly deny him and blurt out everything that happened with Bambi over the last week, I just grin and nod.

“You make sure to call me, okay man? Don’t forget about us up here.” Owen's tone changes from jokester playful to an uncharacteristically solemn seriousness.

“I could never forget you Owen. You’ll always be my best friend. And as long as I have a signal, I’ll call.”

Being out in the middle of the ocean I don’t always have cell service, only my radio to call in for emergencies.

“Alright, my turn,” Gigi demands, shoving Owen out of the way.

Gigi’s hug lasts the longest, her surprisingly strong arms locked around my waist. I imagine this is how it would feel saying goodbye to a mother.

“You be safe out there. And when you’re ready to come home, you know where to find us. You’re always welcome here.”

“Thank you, Gigi.”

She cups my face in her hands and pulls me down to press a kiss to each cheek. Holding me still for a long moment while searching my face before releasing me with a pat to my cheek.

“Be good,” she whispers as she pulls away.

She knows I won’t. It’s not in my nature. That would be all Bambi. The last one to say goodbye, and the most reluctant. In her hands she holds a small, wrapped package the size of a book. It’s clutched to her chest protectively. Slowly she makes her way to me when Gigi moves away.