Page 26

“Come with me.”

“What?” Her voice is sleepy and muffled against my chest, and I love the sound. My determination solidifying even more with my decision.

“Come with me. Leave with me on my boat. See the world with me.” I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before. It’s perfect. She’ll come with me, and we’ll travel the world and find a new place to plant roots that is nowhere near my parents or my past.

Bambi sits up, looking at me with a confused furrow in her brow.

“You want me to go with you? On your boat? In one day?”

“Yes.” She doesn’t sound as excited about this idea as I thought she would. I want to be with her and take her with me. We both get what we want.

“I can’t do that Warren.” Her face is crest fallen and she scoots up the bed, leaning against the headboard with the blanket pulled tight around her.

I follow her progression and sit next to her, keeping close. I can’t let her go now.

“Why not? It’s perfect. We get to stay together and get away from freezing cold Alaska, and my parents. We get to see the world and have an adventure. Find somewhere better.”

“I like Alaska. Also, I have the store and Gigi. I can’t just drop everything and leave on a whim in one day.”

The sleepy sweetness is gone now, and she looks at me, obviously displeased with my last-minute offer.

“Okay then, we’ll wait a few more days. Get everything settled and leave then,” I suggest. We could delay leaving for a few days. Not any more though. I already waited till the last possible time before winter sets in.

“No.” Her voice is stern but also sad. Why is she sad? “I will not be a last-minute impulse buy. I have a life here Warren, one I happen to like. A lot. I knew you could be selfish, but not like this. Did you even consider me when you came up with this idea?”

I freeze, and not from being naked. Bambi’s never spoken to me so angrily before. Why is she so angry with me? I asked her to come with me. I want to be with her. This is the perfect solution. How can she not see that? Besides, she was the one who started all this by kissing me. I was perfectly content with how things were and ready to leave without any issue until then.

“Then why did you kiss me? Why did you wait until I was already leaving to get involved with me?” I demand, getting a little angry now myself.

“Because I had to know. I’ve waited years for you to open your eyes and see me, and you never did. I had to find out for myself if my feelings were only one sided. And if I could only have you once before you left forever, then so be it.”

“So that was your plan?” I ask haughtily, scooting away from her so I can turn and face her straight on. “To use me for sex, just like the rest of them?”

My words hit harder than I expected and Bambi winces, her eyes glistening with the threat of tears. Fuck this is not going the way it’s supposed to. She wasn’t supposed to get angry and cry, she was supposed to be happy and cry with joy. What the fuck is happening?

“I’ve never used you for anything other than friendship Warren. I just figured it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Looks like I was wrong. Because this isn’t love, just lust.”

She scurries out of bed and grabs a robe slung over a chair, covering her beautiful body that’s still pink with my rope marks.

“I think you should leave now.”

“What?”

How did this go from the best night of my life and being immeasurably happy, to her kicking me out and claiming she doesn’t love me?

My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach and nearly seizes with the realization of what’s happening. I can’t leave. Not without her. Can I?

“I shouldn’t have kissed you that first night. I realize that now. It was a mistake. You’ll never be able to think of anyone but yourself.”

I crawl out of bed and cross the room to her, reaching to hold her, pull her close and tell her how wrong she is. But she recoils from me, pulling farther away. Not just physically butinternally as well. All softness falls from her face and in its place is heartbreaking resignation.

She won’t come with me. She also won’t ever understand how wrong she is. Yes, I’ve had to put myself first to protect my own heart and mental well-being, but I’ve also always thought of her. If she was safe and happy. That no one and nothing hurt her or took advantage of her pureness. I’ve even gotten arrested twice because of the things I did that she never knew about.

But I also learned a long time ago self-preservation came first. If I couldn’t take care and protect myself, how would I ever be able to do it for someone I loved?

I’ve worried for a long time about what would happen to Bambi after I left. Almost talked myself out of leaving because of it. Sometimes there are things that take precedence over others, though. And no matter how much I love Bambi; I hate my parents more. The pain and trauma they’ve caused me over the years doing too much damage to ignore.

I grip my bare chest, right over the anchor tattoo with her name hidden within and try to ignore the cracking beneath somewhere in the vicinity of where my heart should be, and the lump in my throat.