Page 15

“They must have been looking through a very powerful microscope then for it to look that large.”

“How would you know? Haveyoubeen watching me? That’s gross. I’m not into incest.”

Izzy punches her brother in the arm, and he laughs while rubbing his bicep.

“That’s disgusting and if you mention incest again, I’m going to tell mom what really happened to her curtains.”

Owen instantly stops laughing, his smile falling into an open-mouthed gape. The infamous story of their parents’ bedroom curtains and their untimely demise has been a well-guarded secret between the siblings that not even I or Warren know. Apparently, it’s so embarrassing that Owen will never tell us and too juicy for Izzy to give up the ability to blackmail Owen with.

“Fine. But one day that threat won’t work anymore, so use it wisely.”

Owen points a finger at her and squints manically while backing away. Izzy sticks her tongue out at him and smiles in triumph. It’s always some sort of competition between them, no matter what it’s about one always has to outdo the other. Those two really are weird.

Warren follows silently behind me as we reach the stairs. We all stop on the landing and find our carved names. They’re worn smooth now, unlike when we first carved them and the edges were so jagged splinters were imminent.

I run my fingers across my name, all blocky and crooked, while Warren’s next to mine is practically perfect. His fingers graze mine as we both caress the smooth wood. I hadn’t noticed how close he’d gotten. Practically spooning me while standing, his arm wrapping around me to reach the banister.

“I can’t believe it’s been twelve years since we carved these,” Izzy ponders out loud.

“I can.”

My soft admission is met with still silence. If there’s one thing Alaska has an abundance of_besides moose_it’s silence. It never felt so heavy before. Knowing this is probably the last time in, either forever or at least years, that we’ll all be together like this.

I thought living in a small town meant everyone would always be around. I guess some people’s wanderlust is greater than others.

“I wonder if anyone stole my stash of porn.” Owen breaks the silence in a way only he can, and we all laugh at him.

You can always count on Owen to keep everything light and playful. He doesn’t like silence or crying or anything serious for that matter. I know the smiles and glee he’s been exuding at Warren’s departure is mostly a front to conceal his sadness at losing his best friend. Izzy and I still have each other, and we’ll always be there for Owen, but we’re no replacement for Warren. His closest, most trusted male friend. It won’t be the same, but I know he’s doing his best to make sure Warren doesn’t feel guilty for leaving. I have too…sort of.

“What? I’m serious. That was primo porn and a bitch to keep hidden from my parents.”

Owen climbs the remaining stairs and wanders off to one of the upstairs rooms, Izzy trailing behind the ever-present peanut gallery to her brother. Which leaves Warren and I alone on the stairs, standing far too close together and our hands still resting on the railing, fingers barely touching.

He doesn’t move away when they leave, if anything I think he leans closer. The heat of his breath brushing the loose strands of hair around my ear. He doesn’t say anything. I’m not sure how I would reply if he did. Instead, I stand there in the circle of his body and enjoy the closeness.

He said we couldn’t be anything more than friends and I don’t expect a second night with him but…he’s so close. Like he doesn’t want to move away, like he wants more but isn’t willing to admit it.

I give in to my desire and lean back against him. His body is hard but inviting, everything I’ve ever wanted. His arm wraps around my middle from behind and he lets out a soft moan on anexhale. As if finally holding me again soothed something inside him. I know it’s soothed something inside me.

The hand on the railing slides over, covering mine, and his fingers thread between mine, gripping the wood beneath and holding me in place. As if I was going anywhere.

“I know I was a bit of an ass the other morning. I’m sorry about that. Don’t think for one second it makes what happened between us less significant.”

My heart races in my chest at his words. Maybe there is hope for him to stay after all? My stupid heart is far too optimistic and even that tiniest bit of hope spreads like frost on still water.

“Could I maybe come over tonight?”

For a moment I don’t fully process his question. My initial thought is he wants to come hang out and have dinner and watch a movie or something like we’ve always done, but then I realize what he’s really asking. He wants tocome over, come over. Like stay the night and be naked again. I would very much like that. But I need to sound cool, casual, not eager and desperate.

“Sure.”

Nailed it.

“I’ll come over after we get back to the diner and drop off Owen and Izzy. We should probably arrive separately…”

His words trail off and I unfortunately know what he’s trying to say without speaking. The growing hope in my chest fizzles out a little but not completely. I nod in agreement. I’ll take him anyway I can get him.

Warren bends down and nuzzles into the crook of my neck, pressing a soft kiss to my jaw, my knit sweater obstructing access to anywhere else. He groans against my skin.