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“You’re so rude.”

“Yeah, I know.” He lifted his backpack up off the table and gestured toward the door. “That’s kind of why I needed the flirting coaching. The safe word.”

“Snowy plover.”

“I’m not being mean,” he said.

He marched her out the door and hefted his pack into the bed of the truck. Then he went up to her and without thinking unclipped the belt from around her waist.

His hand skimmed that spot just beneath her rib cage.

He was suddenly focused on that spot, there beneath her breasts.

His stomach tightened, his blood getting just a little hotter.

Then he grabbed the top of the backpack and pulled it off, putting it in the back.

“All right. Get in.”

He knew he was being a little abrupt now.

She didn’t respond to that, though. Instead she went around to the other side and got in.

“Here we go. Climbing the damned mountain.”

“Climbing the damned mountain,” she reiterated.

“But you didn’t kiss him.”

She looked at him, eyes narrow. “How do you know that?”

“Because you didn’t wear the black dress. You wear the black dress if you want something specific.”

“Is that what you would wear if you wanted to hook up with them?”

“Probably.”

“Fine. I realized that I didn’t want to kiss him. I thought it might be nice. He was...legitimately awful to me in high school. And I wanted to do something about that. Change it into another story, I guess. But that’s not wanting somebody. And I realized that I want towantthe person that I kiss. I want that more than I want to write a good narrative. I want that more than I want to laugh at him and say now you think I’m good enough.”

“That’s good, Rory.” His chest felt so tight he could barely breathe.

He hadn’t realized how much he hadn’t wanted her to kiss him.

“I kept thinking about what you said. About the parade. About how wanting a parade isn’t enough. It’s not... That it doesn’t sustain you. Or whatever. And I get it.”

“It just only gets you so far. When I didn’t have the roar of the crowd, I didn’t have anything left. And even worse, I realized I couldn’t handle the roar of the crowd anymore. I don’t have the answers. I just know which things I was holding on to didn’t have the answers, either.”

He felt closer now. With her. Watching her look for answers inside herself. This time with Rory had been the only time in his life he’d connected with someone, and it hadn’t been about him being great.

It was different.

It wasn’t a parade.

It was better.

“I think I understand that now.”

“What did he do to you in middle school? You mentioned other bullying.”