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She got off the phone, and he went to find something clean to put on, then got into the shower.

He wasn’t sure how he’d ended up here, but at least it wasn’t a dark pit. There was that.

ITDIDN’TEVENoccur to him to go pick Rory up. He probably should have; it would’ve made sense. But he had some hesitation about whether or not they should show up together. Technically, she was there as Lydia’s guest.

He had to ask himself why it mattered if anyone knew.

He couldn’t have his mom and Lydia thinking it was something deeper than it was, or something more permanent. It was deep. Truth be told, it was as deep as it got.

He cared for Rory. He would rather die than hurt her.

But she was leaving, and he was starting a new life.

He needed space and time; he knew he did.

There were too many ugly things inside him, and he didn’t want to risk exposing Rory to any of them.

He had failed one person already. Profoundly. A person he had promised forever to.

It wasn’t in the cards for him. Forever.

How could anyone promise forever? Life was way too unpredictable.

He would be an ass and an idiot to try again.

He would be cruel.

He just didn’t see the point of announcing it. Maybe because it felt like opening a part of himself that he didn’t want to. This was healing him.

That stunned him, that realization. That being with Rory had touched something deep inside him. He wasn’t just doing this for her.

Maybe she felt like it was checking off a box. Maybe she felt like it was just moving toward that new life. That new sense of herself. But for him, it was more.

For him it was something.

It might as well have been his first time.

It was his first time as this man. And there was something incredibly hopeful about the fact that he could still feel. That he might even feel more during sex than he ever had before. Because he was different.

Because this new version of him didn’t look forward to the moments of glory. He lived in the moment.

The old version of himself enjoyed pleasuring women, because he never wanted to experience glory alone, but he didn’t think he had ever savored the journey in quite the same way that he had with Rory.

This new sense that nothing was guaranteed, that gave his life a precarious feeling, also made his time with Rory feel precious. Every moment. Every second.

He was so deep in his feelings he might as well be a pop song.

He put on a black T-shirt, a pair of jeans and then his dad’s cowboy hat.

He got in his truck and headed out toward where his mother and sister lived.

His sister had a little house next door to his mother’s, and the arrangement seemed to work fine for them.

When he got the ranch back, they would move there. There were enough outbuildings and other facilities for them to stay comfortably. At least, that was what he figured.

He hadn’t talked to them about it. But...he didn’t see why they wouldn’t want that.

When he got there, Rory’s car was already in the driveway.