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“Nothingwith the wordminiin it, how about that.”

She thought about her future brother-in-law, who was handsome and tall, and it was probably a very good thing he was proportionate and not mini. “Good to know.”

“You know about sex,” Quinn said, exasperated. “I don’t understand why you’re acting like you need the talk.”

“You’re right. I do knowaboutit. But everything I know feels textbook and clinical. Do you just... Do you just go for it? Or should you hang back or...”

“No guy is going to complain if you jump in with a blow job. Trust me. But you have to want to do it. You jump in because you’re enthusiastic. I don’t know who you’re going out with tomorrow, but it doesn’t sound to me like you want to have sex with them.”

She thought about Gideon’s thighs again. It certainly wasn’t the date with Mike that had gotten her worried about this.

“How do you know?” she asked.

“I know because if you wanted to have sex with the guy, then you wouldn’t be nervous like this. Because if it’s right, you know. Because when he kisses you, you don’t want to stop. Because passion overtakes everything. Better judgment and inexperience. That is the definition of enthusiastic consent. When your body is shouting yes and you don’t want to resist yourself. When your anxiety isn’t the most important thing. When the most important thing is having him. And if it’s not, don’t be with him.”

“I do so very much feel like I am letting down feminism in this world of sex positivity...”

“I don’t know. Sex positivity seems to be luring a lot of girls into crappy sex. They think they have to just because they went out with a guy. You don’t. Have sex with him because you can’t not. Because you think you’ll die if you don’t. But don’t have sex with anyone for any less than that.”

“That’s how it is with Levi?”

“Every time. I didn’t even like him. Or I wasn’t supposed to. But he overwhelmed me. He made me question all these things about myself, the way that I saw the world. What I thought was important. He taught me things about myself that I never could’ve learned on my own. I think that I did the same for him. We fit each other. Physically and emotionally. And when passion clicked with that, it was like I couldn’t even imagine not being with him. I wanted to throw all caution to the wind. I even absolutely and completely risked Fia’s rage.”

“We need to get our spinster aunt a man,” mused Rory.

Quinn chuckled. “I mean, agreed, but you’re going to Boston.”

She marinated on that. “I am going to Boston.”

“I’ll finish your sandwich now,” Quinn said.

It was turkey and mayo, which felt sort of inglorious after that sex conversation.

“Gideon is as hot as ever, isn’t he?” Quinn said.

“I don’t have a date with Gideon tomorrow,” she said.

“Why not, Rory?”

The question scraped her out. Made her chest feel sore and hollow.

“Well, I’m leaving, first of all.”

“Also true in context with whoever the guy you’re going out with is.”

“I guess. Except that guy is just that guy. And Gideon is Gideon. And he’s different. And it would be different.” She looked down at her sandwich.

“What are you doing exactly?”

“I’m trying to prove that I’m not the same person I was.”

“To who? And why? I love you. I have always loved you just the way you are. You are such a great and loyal sister. And you’re fun and you’re quirky. And I love hearing you talk about books, and movies, and your opinions on things. And I like the way you dress. And I don’t understand why you’ve let other people decide those things are bad.”

“You’re telling me you don’t have any insecurities?”

“Of course I do. But it never occurred to me not to be with the guy that I wanted because of them.”

“Like you said. It was undeniable, right?”