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“I can help you take the edge off,” I heard myself saying. Bolder than usual, I felt no fear or risk. He wanted me. If he declined, it wouldn’t be a rejection of me, just of timing. My trust in him gave me the confidence to act. “You helped me. Let me do the same for you.”
He bent his head to give me a heated kiss, his hands sliding down my back to palm my ass. His teeth tugged at my bottom lip, not releasing it until I moaned. When he pulled back, I expected him to instruct me to get down on my knees or open his pants so I could get my hand around him.
Instead, he squeezed my ass before taking a step back and releasing me.
“Do you really want to help me relax?”
The gleam in his eyes said that he had something different in mind than what I’d been thinking.
“Yes, Mr. Lexington.”
The smile he gave me was beyond wicked, and I wondered if I was going to regret my offer.
“Do you have that package I sent you?”
When I nodded, he told me to get it. I headed to my room, eager to see what was inside. It’d been delivered Thursday afternoon with a note saying not to open it until I was given permission. I’d assumed he’d sent it for me to open after we’d gone to dinner last night, but he hadn’t even mentioned it.
I brought it back, and he motioned for me to open it. There was another box inside the plain brown box, and this one was fancier, with shiny white and gold surfaces and a sparkling gold ribbon. When I opened that box, I found a few things inside, all of them clearly sex toys that Nate intended to use on me. Some I recognized, but others were a little less obvious.
“Eventually, we’re going to experiment with all of these,” Nate said as he reached into the box to pluck out something. “Change from what you’re wearing into these.”
These were a pair of barely-there panties that had what appeared to be a small pocket at the front of the crotch. I turned to go to my bedroom when a sound from Nate stopped me. I looked over at him, and he shook his head.
“Here.”
Despite the fact that he’d seen me naked more than once, I still blushed as I pulled my pants off. I swapped my simple pair of black cotton panties out for the filmy lace ones Nate had handed me. He didn’t say anything until I had my pants back on and moved to do up the button and zipper.
“Wait. Come here.”
I went, stopping when we still had a few inches separating us. He held up his hand, and I saw a small metal object between his thumb and forefinger. It took me a moment to place, but even after I did, I was still confused. Then he shoved his hand down the front of my pants – and panties – and I figured it out.
The metal had already been warmed by his hand when he slipped it into the little pocket. I gasped as his fingers probed between my folds, half-caressing, half-situating. By the time he removed his hand a minute or so later, the bullet was resting against my clitoris, and I was well on my way to being wet.
“Let’s test it to make sure it works.”
I barely had time to register his words before the metal vibrated. I cursed, nails digging into my palm. It lasted only a few seconds before it stopped and then Nate took my hand, uncurling my fingers and kissing the places where I’d left marks.
“Did it hurt?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I-I just wasn’t expecting it. I mean, I knew what it did, but it was…” I struggled to find the right words.
“Different context,” he said. “A vibrator during something sexual, in a bedroom or the like, that makes sense. Like this, fully clothed, ready to go into public…it screws with your brain.”
“That’s one way to put it,” I muttered.
“Will it be too much for you?”
I didn’t blurt out an answer, needing to give myself a minute to think so I could answer honestly. He hadn’t spelled out exactly what this meant, but it wasn’t difficult to figure out. He wanted me to wear this tonight so that, periodically, he could press a button and watch me squirm. While I was sitting at the dinner table with his entire family, trying not to have an orgasm and hoping that no one could hear the subtle buzzing.
This wasn’t a punishment for me, no matter how torturous it might end up being. I’d asked him if I could help with his tension, and this was his answer. He didn’t need me to get him off. He needed me to be a distraction. He needed something that he could control in the middle of a place and with a group of people who were all outside his control.
I understood that in a healthy Dom / sub relationship, the sub actually had the final say. Any control that the Dom had, it was only because the sub allowed it. The power dynamic came from the existence of a safe word and the understanding that when a sub used it, the Dom respected it. Some people might’ve seen it as some sort of contradiction or paradox, but it really was a logical progression.
This was the first time I went beyond understanding it from a logical standpoint. I actually felt it. I wanted to help him, and this was a way I could, but he wouldn’t take it without complete consent. Me giving him the ability to control that part of me would be what he needed.
And only I could offer it to him.
Twenty-Seven