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The sun was already down, but the streets were well-lit, and I’d made this trip this way before. On days when taking a run wasn’t an option, walking home was sometimes enough to combat the stress. I didn’t think it was going to be enough this time.
I couldn’t just ignore this and hope it went away, not if I wanted to salvage things with Ashlee. My gut told me that the longer I waited, the worse things would be, and the greater my chance of losing her for good would be.
The thought of Joshua talking to her still set my teeth on edge, but I could no longer deny that I’d overreacted. If it’d been Roma or any other woman I’d ever been with, it might’ve annoyed me, but I wouldn’t have cared enough to have the same sort of intense reaction that I’d had with Ashlee. Even if they’d cheated on me with Joshua, I wouldn’t have had an issue with dumping them and moving on to the next woman.
Ashlee was different.
I’d known that from moment one, even if I hadn’t wanted to accept it. Now, I knew that merely admitting it wouldn’t be enough. I liked to control everything, and I’d always considered myself good at it, but I was now beginning to see that I wasn’t actually that good at the relationship part of things. Not when it involved more than just the basic emotions like lust and possessiveness.
I couldn’t control Ashlee, not as my employee and not as my girlfriend, and if I kept running headfirst into this wall, I wasn’t going to have her as either much longer.
I ducked into a diner and ordered a sandwich and a drink. I wasn’t very hungry, but I hadn’t eaten much for lunch, and a growling stomach wasn’t exactly conducive to making a proper apology. I didn’t linger over the meal, barely tasting any of it. As soon as I was done, I flagged down a cab and gave him Ashlee’s address.
Something about my expression must have made him understand that I didn’t want to talk to him because he barely said anything beyond the most basic of polite small talk. After thanking him and giving him a decent tip, I headed up to Ashlee’s place, still unsure of exactly what I planned on saying.
“I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight,” she said as she opened the door after my second knock. Her phone was in her hand, and I knew she’d just gotten off the phone with her mom.
I didn’t mess around with pleasantries or passive-aggressive shit. “I owe you an apology and didn’t want to wait until tomorrow. You deserved to hear it face-to-face, as soon as I could get here.”
Her eyes widened slightly, and she stepped back, motioning for me to come inside. I waited until she closed the door behind us to speak again.
“I’m sorry I behaved the way I did. Certain things…too many things…set me off. There’s bad blood between Joshua and me, and it’s…complicated. But it’s not your fault, and I never should have allowed my issues with my brother to spill over onto you.”
If she asked for specifics, I would tell her the whole story, but I was desperately praying that she wouldn’t. The moment she discovered what I’d done, the way she looked at me would change, and I wanted a little longer with her before that happened.
“All right.” She walked over to sit on the couch. “I accept your apology.”
“Thank you.” I hoped she could hear how sincere those two words were.
“What now?”
Twenty-Two
Ashlee
The moment I asked the question, I knew what the answer was going to be. His lips curved up into that deliciously wicked smile that always made me wet. I no longer cared that I’d been angry and hurt not more than five minutes ago. His apology had been sincere, and I saw no reason to dwell on the past, no matter how recent. If my life had taught me anything, it was to embrace what I could, when I could.
And right now, I wanted to embrace Nate. Nothing could make me feel more alive than being with him.
Two steps were all he needed to be able to take me in his arms and kiss me. Hot and sweet, it was over quicker than I’d thought it would be. He cupped my face in his hands, the passion in his eyes tempered slightly.
“I didn’t apologize because I wanted sex. You know that, right?”
“The fact that you took a minute to ask speaks volumes.” I smiled at him, then wrapped my arms around his neck. “Thank you.”
I’d barely finished the last word when his mouth was on mine again, and there was no ending it this time. His lips molded to mine, taking control of the kiss the same way he did everything else. His fingers ran through my hair, kneading my scalp and sending ribbons of warmth down through my body.
He walked me backward until my legs bumped against the couch and then he turned me around, sitting even as he pulled me down onto his lap. I moaned as his cock rubbed against me, our bodies kept from more intimate contact by our clothes.
Stupid clothes.
It wasn’t until Nate laughed that I realized I’d said it aloud. I rocked against him, and he moaned, fingers tightening on my hips. Teeth dug into my bottom lip, worrying at it until I whimpered, nails scratching at his shoulders but unable to reach skin through the fabric covering him.
I clawed at his shirt, dragging it up until I could reach skin. We both groaned as my fingers played across those rock-hard abs. I’d seen sculptures less beautiful than him. His body was a work of art, and I wanted to admire every inch of him.
“Condom?” I tore my mouth away from his.
My impatience made him laugh again, and I smiled at the sound. He didn’t laugh nearly as much as he should. I resolved to fix that.