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Mum and Brandi both took turns in shouting at me today, re: the Nick letter.

Apparently I’m not under any circumstances to consider going back to him. He is a shit bag. Plain and simple.

Simple to them. But not to me.

I thought you were supposed to get married, have kids and live happily ever after.

Where did I go wrong?

Sunday July 26th

Still thinking about Nick’s letter.

I am fed up and tired and depressed today.

Motherhood is SO gruelling. It just doesn’t stop. Feed, change, wash clothes, Daisy sleeps when I don’t want her to, wakes up when I don’t want her to, feed again … and on it goes.

And I don’t want to do it alone. Of course Nick never really helped (in fact, I have more time now I don’t have to do his washing). But I’m still technically a single mum, and everyone knows single mums have it hard.

I wonder what Nick is doing right now.

Monday July 27th

Spoke to Laura and Althea about Nick’s letter.

They both shouted at me too. Even Laura and she never shouts.

Althea said Nick was a horrible, nasty piece of theatrical shit and me and Daisy were better off without him.

She’d got through to Rylan, Sadie’s gay make-up friend, on the cruise ship. Rylan said Sadie had been pregnant since June. And that Nick had known the whole time.

So Nick knew while we were planning the wedding. And while he was waiting at the end of the aisle.

What an idiot I am.

Nickisa shitbag and I’m better off without him.

But he’s still Daisy’s dad. He has to see her eventually.?

Tuesday July 28th

Daisy was eating Dad’s massive bible while I was on the loo, and it opened on a passage about forgiveness.

And I thought – could it be a sign? A sign I should forgive Nick? Maybe even take him back?

Everyone makes mistakes. I can’t throw away Daisy’s family just because I’m feeling angry.

I’m going to the flat today and maybe we can talk.

Wednesday July 29th

Those B*******s!

Sadie’s stuff was all over our apartment.

She’s LIVING with him!

Nick had the decency to look embarrassed. But only for a minute. Then he spun Daisy around and asked if she liked his new beard.