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I hadn’t even thought about the ball. I suppose I’d just decided I wasn’t going. It’s just all too humiliating. I don’t want to look like I’m chasing around after Alex. And of course there’ll be the bloody charity auction. No fun if you’re single.

Nick and Sadie might be there too.

Althea said, ‘You’ve lost a fuck-load of weight and you’re looking fabulous. To the ball, Cinderella. To the ball!’

I have to admit I am looking extremely slim – even after a Christmas of mince pies and Mum’s constant Iceland buffet food (SO un-Christmassy this year. Spring rolls?? Spicy samosas??)

I gave in and told Althea I’d go.

Which turned out to be the right choice. Because she’d already bought our tickets.

Wednesday December 30th

Dalton New Year’s Eve Ball tomorrow.

Maybe I won’t go after all. I’ll only have my burning hopes about Alex stamped on. And I’ve had enough disappointments this year.

I can just stay at home with Daisy. She’s making all these lovely little babbling noises now. Ba ba ba! So cute. What better way to spend time than with my little girl? Who needs a fancy party when you have all the love you need at home?

Thursday December 31st

Brandi woke me at 7am this morning – ‘IT’S THE FUCKING NEW YEAR’S EVE BALL TODAY!!! WE NEED TO START GETTING READY!’

I told Brandi I didn’t want to go, but she said, ‘Don’t be fucking stupid. You’re a single mum. You need to find a boyfriend.’

She dragged me into her bedroom and gave me a face mask that burned my cheeks. Then she tried to paint my toenails neon pink. I asked if she had any grey nail polish (very fashionable right now). She said, ‘Why’d you want to look like a corpse?’

We settled on a French manicure.

It did look pretty nice.

Maybe I will go …

Oh sod it. I’ll go.

5pm

Nervous about the ball.

Does everyone know Alex and I have slept together? Has he told anyone?

Strange to think we could have a night like that and it just go nowhere.

But I’ve learned this year that life rarely goes the way you want it to.

6.30pm

Have been buffed and preened to within an inch of my life.

Didn’t let Brandi do my make-up, so I don’t look like a drag queen. In fact, I look pretty nice. Even Mum said so. Although she kept wanting to ‘add more sparkle and bling’.

Mum said Brandi looked a ‘knockout’ and asked me why I couldn’t show off a bit more of what God gave me.

We’re meeting Laura there. She’s already in London with Zach.

Okay, okay, time to go.

Right. Chewing gum. One last cuddle with Daisy. Has she left any snot trails?