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This is crazy.

We haven’t even really talked about where we left things. But does it matter? He’s just here to prove some point to himself. And I can’t care about that any longer when his tongue swipes around my clit and my eyes close all on their own.

I thread my fingers through his hair and pull him closer. We can’t stop now. He’s right. I need to come.

I’m a sticky mess by the time he lifts his head. I grin when I realize I’m such a mess he’s shifted. I love seeing him in this form. He makes a low noise of satisfaction, dipping his head to take one more lick, which has my pussy clenching.

Oh god, I’ve missed this.

I steel myself for more, knowing it’ll be almost as hard to say goodbye in the morning as it was when I left Australia. At least this time we can leave things on good terms. Not on an argument.

Then Noah yanks me to the edge of the bed and positions me bending over the mattress. He brings my arms behind my back, wrapping a tentacle around my wrists to keep them in place. Then he kicks my legs apart and there’s a pause before he brings his cock to my pussy. “I’m wearing a condom this time, OK? I want to show you I can be responsible.”

I don’t have time to process his words before he thrusts forward and enters me in a single stroke. My pussy is so wet and ready that he slides right in. My hands tighten and I gasp at the feel of him there. So full. So perfect.

Then he begins to move.

My knees buckle and I’m glad I’m braced against the bed. Oh fuck. He finds just the right spot like magic. Instantly the pressure builds again. I can’t do anything but take it as he fucks me in faster and faster strokes, our bodies slapping together. I hear his grunts and groans of pleasure, and for a while that’s all there is.

Then he flips us. I’m spread out again, legs hoisted up high, held secure by one of his many limbs. Noah leans over me and looks deep into my eyes. “I’m going to show you I’ll be anything you want me to be.”

I can’t speak. He slips the tip of one tentacle between us and with that and his cock fucking into me in a steady rhythm, I can hardly breathe.

This feels like more than a one last time. It feels like he’s offering me forever. But I can’t do that with this guy. Not with the guy who walked out on me when I needed him. Not with the guy who doesn’t do relationships. Who couldn’t even take a pregnancy test with me.

All my thoughts shatter as he leans in to kiss me and I tip over the edge. He’s everywhere. Possessing my mouth, my breath as I come apart. Leaning over me, continuing to pump into me through my orgasm.

When it ends, I blink up at him. “You can’t. We can’t.” I push at his chest, and he frowns in confusion but pulls back.

“We can’t what?”

My voice seizes up. My limbs won’t cooperate. Noah withdraws and I stagger to my feet, searching for my clothes. “We can’t dothat. That’s not what this is.”

“What do you mean?” He’s staring at me as I fumble on the floor for my things.

“You didn’t come here thinking that we could be a couple, Noah. That’s not you.”

He reaches for me, but I dart away. “Olivia—”

“No.” I shake my head, dragging on my dress, pulling on my shoes. “Noah, I can’t. How can I trust you? I can’t do this.” I rush from the room while he’s still standing there staring at me looking horrified. I have just enough sense to hesitate in the doorway and fling back, “I’m not pregnant, Noah. I never was.”

I hate the thought that I’ve hurt him, but really, what did he expect? How can I give my heart to someone who already broke it? I rush down the stairs and into the street before I pause to call a cab and go home to nurse my broken heart all over again.

TWENTY NINE

Noah

I don’t chase her when she runs from me. I’d catch her if I wanted to. Especially on eight tentacles, but she’s right. I deserved that.

I turn up here thinking I can just apologize and everything will go back to the way it was. Or better yet, will turn into what I want, which is forever.

I haven’t shown her that I’m worth her trust. I haven’t shown her that she means the world to me. So instead of following, Islink to the shower and turn the cold water up full. Standing under it has no effect on my throbbing cock. It stays erect for far too long, desperate for the release I so nearly had inside her body.

I rushed it. Fumbled it.

I have to take a step back and re-evaluate my plan so I don’t make a complete mess of it.

I congratulate myself on making her come, until I realize that won’t make her keep me around. She’s not that shallow. Sure, that might make her lose her head for a while, but she needs more from me than that. She needs reliability. She needs availability. She needs vulnerability.