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TWENTY THREE

Olivia

I spend the rest of the week dodging Noah’s questions and waiting for my period, but it never arrives. The longer it takes, the more certain I am that I’m going to have to face this head on.

I’ve never done a pregnancy test before.

I’ve never needed to.

I’ve never considered just how daunting it could feel to pee on a stick, but as I’m standing in the aisle of the drug store staring at the five different options only to realize I’ve read the back ofeach packet and checked the price but haven’t taken any of it in, suddenly just choosing one feels like an impossible hurdle.

“Olivia!”

I turn in surprise to see Mia enter the aisle where I’m standing. She walks up to me with a smile. “I thought that was you. How are you?”

I shift uncomfortably from foot to foot. Will it make it too obvious if I move away from the pregnancy tests now and pretend I was looking for something else? “I’m good. What about you?” I keep my eyes fixed on a row of lip balms just behind Mia’s shoulder.

Don’t look at the pregnancy tests. Don’t acknowledge the pregnancy tests.

This is fine.

I’m fine.

“What are you up to today?”

My mouth opens. No words come out and instead my eyes dart right to the picture on the box of one of the tests of a happy smiling baby.

I want to throw up.

Mia frowns, her gaze following mine, and then her eyebrows lift and we look at each other for a long, awkward moment.

I cough. No point avoiding it now. Cheeks flushing a deep pink, I reach for the box and lift it off the shelf. “Um, this apparently. What about you?”

Her mouth drops into a little o. “Listen, Olivia. I know we don’t know each other all that well, but I could never forgive myself if I didn’t say something. You know if you want to get a coffee or a tea or just go for a walk…”

There’s a pause. My heart drums against my ribcage and my palms sweat.

“If you wanted to,” Mia continues. “I know you don’t know many people here and this must be tough.” Her smile firms into something really genuine, and I break.

“I’d really like that.” I clutch the test box to my chest in desperation. “I don’t know what I’ll do if it’s positive.”

Mia slips her arm through mine and gives me a reassuring nudge. “One step at a time, OK? Let’s get to the counter and then we’ll get a juice and take a walk.”

I let her guide me to the counter where I buy the test and slide it into the brown paper bag the pharmacist gives me, tucking it into my handbag and hoping I can forget.

I can’t.

Mia takes me past the Coral Breeze Café and we order two large juices and she makes small talk while I try to figure out what the hell to say.

We’re walking along Cliff Road up toward the golf club by the time I have the courage to start, but she doesn’t push me. “So, I’m late.”

Mia nods. “How many weeks?”

I wince. “I’m not sure. I’m never all that regular, and when I travel, forget about it. But it’s been at least five or six weeks since my last.”

She’s quiet for a while. The breeze is gentle, but as the hill gets steeper, it picks up, cooling the heat from my cheeks and whipping my hair out to one side.

“I should tell him, shouldn’t I?”