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Olivia holds it out for me.

“Fine.” I grab a slice and take a large bite and register exactly how hungry I am. Brenda’s pizza bases are average at best but tonight they taste like Michelin Star cooking.

Olivia takes out a piece for herself and I take the box, tucking it under my arm so she can eat.

We’re quiet for a while. The street is dark apart from the bright spots where the streetlights fall onto the path. We turn up the hill and soon we’re both licking greasy fingers and reaching for another piece.

“I’m sorry,” I mumble after we make it past the nursing home and after my third piece of pizza.

“What for?”

“For stealing half your dinner?” It’s a cop out answer.

Olivia laughs. “I was never going to eat this whole thing anyway.”

I sigh. “And for that. Back there. You didn’t need to see that.”

“I didn’t see anything. But if you wanted to talk about it…” She doesn’t look around, and I know why. I know I’ve put up a million brick walls in the way of anyone trying to get close to me. I know I’ve made her feel like she can’t ask.

She walks me all the way home, and like the stubborn prick I am, I can’t make myself admit to her what got me so riled up in the first place. She walks me to my door, and by the time we get there and I realize I’ve got no key, all the pizza is gone and so is my anger.

I’m just left with this gnawing empty feeling where the anger used to be like I’m hungry for something other than food.

Olivia takes my key out of her pocket, and I try and fail to remember giving it to her. She opens my door. “Can I leave the garbage here? I’m going to call a cab. I know you won’t let me walk back to Bella Vista by myself, will you?”

“Stay.” The word escapes me before I can call it back, but it doesn’t matter. I don’t want to call it back. I want it out there. I need her tonight. I need her scent on my pillow and her body tucked against mine.

“But—”

“Fuck it. Fuck the rules. They’re bullshit anyway. I should know. I made them up.”

I see her biting her lip, debating with herself, and I do the stupidest, most selfish thing of all. I pull her against me and lower my mouth to hers and claim the kiss I’ve been thinking about for days. The second she’s in my arms, she lifts herself up to meet me, giving me back all the passion I’m craving.

Then I pull her in over my doorstep and somehow manage not to fall over myself in my hurry to have her naked. To feel her skin against mine. Clothes go flying. I stumble out of my jeans and thunk into the wall behind me tugging at Olivia’s top.

The moment she’s undressed, I lift her into my arms and carry her to my bed and dive into her as if I’m ducking under a wave right before it crashes over my head.

NINETEEN

Olivia

When I roll over in the gray morning light and realize where I am, I press my lips together around a giddy smile, not daring to move. Noah is asleep on his back, with his hand stretched out toward me, his features softened in sleep.

I’ve never seen him sleep before.

He’s never let me.

As quietly as possible, I tuck my hand under my cheek and watch him. His chest rises and falls with each slow breath and his dark brows are relaxed, long lashes brushing his cheeks.

As I watch though, his brows draw down and he rolls, hand searching across the mattress until it reaches me. He gathers me against him, letting out a long sigh. Then he’s still again.

My heart about melts with sweetness at this unconscious sign of how much he wants me. He’ll never let it show when he’s awake. I guess I’ll have to hold onto the memory of what he does when he’s drunk or dreaming.

We lay like that another hour before he stirs again, and I don’t have the heart to wake him even when my arm goes to sleep. When he finally groans and rolls away, I slide out of bed and fetch a glass of water from the kitchen, handing it to him as he props himself up on a pillow. “Thanks.” His voice is rough and he rubs a hand over his face.

“How are you feeling?”

“A little raw.” He takes a sip of water. “You stayed.”