Page 39

“Bullshit.”

“Well I haven’t forgotten that you came here and gave me about a hundred orgasms and you haven’t even come yet yourself.” I can’t help smiling when his cock twitches against his thigh.

“Well, if I let you make me come, will you take back that shit about me being a fucking knight in shining armor?”

I grin. “I’ll think about it.”

He reaches for me, and I let him guide my mouth down toward his cock. “Good. Get started then. Let’s see who’s not a bad boy.”

I can’t reply after that. My mouth is full.

EIGHTEEN

Noah

Against my better judgment I let Olivia make me cum and then slink home like a coward. Or at least, that’s my intention, but instead of going home where I’ll only have hours to sit with my nagging conscience, I stop my bike out front of the pub on main street and stalk inside to find the darkest, emptiest corner I can.

Sunday is snooker night and some of the local guys my dad’s age are part way through a game. Shoving my hands in mypockets, I avoid making eye contact with any of them. I pull up a seat at the far end of the bar and order a beer.

What am I doing?

No matter what Olivia wants me to think, I know I’m hurting her, and her brave face only makes that worse. The fact that I fucked her anyway today makes me feel every bit as low as I’ve been acting.

This is why I don’t do this. I should have turned her down in the first place, before anyone had the risk of getting hurt. Only by that stage, I’d already glowed for her. Doesn’t matter what happens now, there will always be a part of me that wonders what if.

What if I’d never asked Charlotte to marry me? What if I’d somehow met Olivia first before I was a jaded prick?

What if I could just let down my guard and imagine what things could be like—

I drain the glass and slam it down on the bar in disgust. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I can’t do that. I won’t do that. I’ve set a course and I’m sticking with it. I can’t be that guy again.

I’m four beers in, thinking I can’t even really remember what that guy used to feel like—the guy who looked forward to his future, who had hopes and dreams—when a familiar voice accosts me. “So this is where you ran off to.”

My older brother Jack pulls out the bar stool next to mine and sits without an invitation.

“Fuck off.” I order another drink. A shot this time. I down it when it comes and order another.

Pete, the bartender, gives me a look, and I glare right back until he shakes his head and gets it for me. “Slow down, Noah,” he says as he places my shot on the counter.

“Fuck you too.” I tap my card to pay.

Jack puts his hand over the shot glass before I can drink it. “What are you doing, Noah? What’s gotten into you? I know you’re an asshole, but you’re not normally this bad.”

I push his hand away and drink my shot. The room has taken on a pleasant buzz and the thoughts of Olivia have gone all fuzzy, which I take as a good sign. “I don’t want to talk to you, OK? Didn’t I make that clear earlier? Why can’t you take a hint?” I try to make eye contact with Pete, but he’s gone out back somewhere or else he’s avoiding me.

I’m seriously considering reaching over the bar to help myself to another when Jack grabs the back of my collar and hauls me back into my seat. “Well now I’m not giving you a choice. Stop acting like a dick and tell me what this is really about.”

I shove to my feet, flinging him off and almost losing my balance as I do. I guess those drinks caught up with me faster than I thought. I shake my head to clear it, but Jack is right in my face, finger pointed at my chest. “Can’t you see Mum and Dad need you right now? The family needs you. Pull your head out of your ass and man up for a change.”

I swipe his hand away. “Oh, you think you know huh? You always think you know everything. Well you’ve got no fucking idea about my life, Jack. You never had.” I’m shouting at this point. We both are. Standing in the middle of the Cove Inn two seconds from taking a swing at each other.

A hand closes over my shoulder, and I wheel around, head spinning.

Frank Robertson, who owns the local tourist boat, takes a step back. “Hey, boys. I know your dad wouldn’t want to hear you’ve been laying on each other like this. Whatever it is, why don’t we all calm down and stop shouting at each other?”

“Why don’t you mind your damn business?” I retort.