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Mia shrugs. She doesn’t ask and I don’t say, but I’m sure it’s obvious who I’m talking about. “It might be negative.”

I let out a nervous giggle, watching as a gull dives and disappears below the cliff like my stomach when I think about being pregnant. “It might be. But what if it’s not? I think I’ll have a meltdown right there in the bathroom.”

Mia pats my shoulder. “You won’t. There are options, right?”

“Not easy ones.”

She’s quiet again, but I know she’s listening. We sit on a wooden bench at the top of the hill until the wind makes us shiver and we’ve finished our juices.

“I know you didn’t ask for my opinion,” says Mia. “But they’re a good family and even though Noah likes to pretend he’s different, he’s part of the Wilson family. He’ll do the right thing.”

“What is the right thing?”

Mia smiles. “Whatever you need is the right thing.” She squeezes my leg.

I laugh. “Well I guess it’s now or never because I really need to pee.”

“Want me to come with you?”

I shake my head. “Um, thanks, but I think I’m good.”

I wave goodbye to Mia and walk back to my bed and breakfast, heart beating faster the closer I get and the tighter my bladder feels.

But when I get into the bathroom and finally wrestle the first test packet from the sealed wrapping, my hands are shaking so badly. I hold the test in place then try to pee, but I have to look to make sure I get it on the right spot. I’m bending over and have already started to go when I drop it into the toilet. I can’t stop the flow and the entire test strip is in the bowl.

“Damn it!”

I don’t know if the results would be accurate even if I fished it out, which I’d really rather not do. And now I’ve peed already, so I’ll have to wait and summon up the courage to take another try later.

I can’t decide if I’m more scared of it being positive or negative. Actually I think what I’m most scared of is Noah’s reaction.

TWENTY FOUR

Noah

I’m pulling up in the carpark at work when my phone buzzes. I stash my helmet and pull it from my pocket to find a message from Olivia.

Olivia: hey, can we talk?

I run my hand through my hair, glancing in through the windows to see that Billy is already here, switching on the lights.

Noah: I just got to work. What is it? You good?

Three dots appear on the screen, then disappear, then reappear again.

There’s a really long pause and I start getting a nasty feeling low down in my belly that I push away. This is Olivia. She’s not going to call and berate me for doing something wrong or hurting her feelings. Or have a go at me for the way I am. She gets me.

Besides, I asked her at least a hundred times today if she was OK and she told me she was.

When she still hasn’t replied three minutes later, I lose my nerve.

Noah: babe, you good? Want me to come round after work?

Her reply is almost instant.

Olivia: yeah. I need to see you

Ordinarily I’d send back something dirty about what a nasty girl she is booty calling me as I’m about to start work, but something tells me there’s more to this than that. And I’m not a big fan of that feeling.