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JEN

I WENT TOthe one place that always seemed to soothe my nerves, the beach. There was just something about the way the water couldn’t be controlled. It either rolled gently upon the shore or crashed from the height of the wave it rode in on; it was sometimes calm and other times destructive. Either way it reminded me of life. Unlike the ocean, however, Icouldcontrol how I let my past drive my future. Staring at the water I finally realized I had allowed myself to be swept away by waves of doubt and self-deprecation. I continuously looked for excuses to not let anyone too close, when the reality was that I was scared to trust my judgment. Maybe I was even punishing myself for making such bad choices, instead of embracing new possibilities. Everyone else had no problem forgiving and supporting me. It was my time to forgive myself.

I moved farther down the sand until gentle waves of water occasionally tickled my toes. While the sun had made the sand look as white as it could be, the full moon cast an almost silvery shade to it. I glanced up at the night sky. Stars twinkled everywhere, the same stars upon which I had cast my childhood wishes. My gaze moved down the shoreline until a moving shadow arrested it. Startled, I started to turn to walk back toward my car, but something held me in place. The shadow took the form of a familiar man.

He hadn’t left.

Nervously, I held my position, not knowing what to expect.

As he moved closer, I noticed his shirt had become untucked. I couldn’t read his expression that far away, but I sensed he saw me because he paused in his stride. When he resumed walking, I nervously shifted my eyes to look at him. Finally, those bare feet stopped inches away from mine. I finally looked up.

Neither of us spoke.

Neither of us reached for the other.

My toes curled into the sand, relishing the slight scraping against my otherwise numb body. Finally, he curled his fingers and drew his knuckles down the side of my face, barely touching my skin.

“Jen.” He spoke so softly it was almost carried away by the gentle roar of the waves. Instead of anger, I saw compassion and understanding looking back at me. Tenderness and warmth. It was my undoing.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. Unwanted tears pooled in my eyes, finally overflowing to roll down my cheeks. “I just got so scared. I didn’t mean it.”

“I know.” His voice was so tender but absolute.

And with those two words, I finally understood that hedidknow. He knew me better than I knew myself. But he didn’t abuse that knowledge. Instead, he carried it safely within him, waiting until I also understood it.

I jerked my chin toward the sky. “Do you know I used to gaze up at those stars and make wishes? I was convinced they would come true if I wished hard enough. Seems silly now.”

His fingers left my chin to brush away my tears. Then he took one of my hands and turned it palm upward. His other hand held a cup. “No, it doesn’t. But you don’t always need to look up at the stars to find your wishes, kitten. Sometimes, they’re right in front of you, if you’d just open your eyes.”

I felt something warm and gritty pour into my hand. He stretched my fingers apart just enough to act as a sieve for the sand his larger hand was pouring into mine. As the sand fell back to the ground, something was left behind in my palm. Picking up the object with my other fingers, I held it to the moonlight. It was a starfish, hardened and whitened from the sun. I ran my fingers along the bumps and ridges. Tyler was right. I didn’t need to rely on wishes when I had the power to make it happen myself. Tyler was my wish come true. No, he was more than a wish. He was flesh and blood and willing to be mine if only I would choose him. He was placing the choice into my hands, letting me know what he wanted without demanding.

I tried to let my heart show in my eyes as I looked into his face. “I love you, Tyler Cranston. You were right. We’ve worked hard to get where we are, and I’m not willing to throw that away. I don’t need more time. I’m all yours if you’ll still have me.”

He made no more moves to touch me. My heart was in my throat, waiting for the rejection I was scared was coming.

He pointed to the starfish. “Do you know what’s so great about a starfish?”

“No,” I answered, the huskiness betraying the nervousness I felt.

“A short science lesson for you, then, brought to you by your own personal nerd.” He laughed softly, and I began to relax. He was still mine. “Lots of sea animals would like to eat clams or oysters, but they’re all unsuccessful because the shell is too difficult to open. But the starfish has such strong suction cups it’s able to open the shell just enough it can eat the meat inside. And a starfish is also able to regenerate if one of its legs is broken off.”

He squeezed my hand around the starfish. “You remind me of a starfish, Jen. You’re stronger than you know. You were strong enough to leave Mark and even stronger to recover from what he did to you. You were strong enough to tell me what happened. You were strong enough to move on with your life. You regenerated, baby. You didn’t need me to do any of that.”

My knees nearly buckled under me. He was trying to tell me I would be fine on my own. I started to talk, to fight for him, but he spoke first.

“But you also don’t have to be alone in life to be strong and independent. I just want to be your partner. I love you, Jennifer. Every part of you.” He rubbed my fingers over the bumps of the starfish. “Every rough spot, every strong arm, all of you. Even your sassy mouth.”

Shivers ran through me. “Oh, I love you, too,” I cried. “I thought I’d lost you forever.”

“No, you have me forever. You brought the music back into my life,” he whispered. “Let me put the color back into yours.” Strong arms pulled me into him. We gazed into each other’s eyes as our heads slowly moved toward each other. Even as our lips touched, he continued to look at me. “See who’s in front of you, kitten. Taste who wants you. Feel who desires you. The man who loves you.”

I fell at that moment, literally and figuratively. I fell into his arms, completely and totally in love with him.

And he was there to catch me. He lifted me into his arms, my legs locking around his waist as no more words were needed, except those communicated silently in each other’s touch.

We held and kissed each other for a long time. Then without a word, he took my hand and led me to the car. I assumed he was taking us back to my parent’s house, but instead he drove to a hotel. “You may want to let your mom know you won’t be home tonight,” he winked.

I felt my cheeks grow warm but nodded my agreement. We checked into a room and wasted no time demonstrating our love for each other. After an urgent need was fulfilled, our lovemaking turned gentle, each of us intimately learning even more about the other, exploring new ways to make the other lose control, but always ending in a satisfying explosion.

The stars outside grew dim before we finally slept.