Page 62
Story: Starlight Wishes
“Jen, I . . . you’re amazing. You have such incredible talent. Do you still paint?”
She shook her head and raised a finger, silently asking me to wait. She left the room, and I heard her rummaging in a bag in the hallway. She came back, placed a spiral-bound notebook in my hands, and sat in the corner of a couch. I thumbed through the pages. They were all black and white sketches, amazingly detailed, of various scenes, but all depicted loneliness or sadness. The ones that caught my attention the most were the last few. Two were of a girl standing outside looking up at the sky. The first was a little girl staring with awe and wonder at a star-filled sky with a shooting star. Its counterpart was a young woman in the same pose, but her face was sad as she gazed at the sky now obscured by clouds.
The last two sketches both illustrated a room in a house with a large window facing the ocean. In one, there was a little girl building a sand castle. A man stood near the water’s edge, his back toward the child. The last picture caused me to suck in my breath. The same young woman held her hand against the window as if reaching for a man that stood on the beach facing the house, only to be kept apart by the glass separating them. I easily recognized the girl and woman as Jen. I assumed the man with his back turned was her father, although I didn’t understand the contrast to the oil painting. But it was the second man on the beach that riveted my attention. It was me.
I quickly looked at her. She was watching me quietly.
“Jen, I . . .” I was almost at a loss for words. “Will you explain these? Is this because of Mark? Did something else happen to make you feel this way?”
She was quiet for a long moment. Then her words came bursting out. “My father cheated on my mother.”
I stood motionless, shocked by her words as she sank further into the sofa, clutching a pillow like a life raft.
“I’m not sure my mom knows. Things were already so stressed between us after Mark that they think that’s the reason I moved. And it is, at least in part. The other part is that I couldn’t stand to see my dad after knowing what he did.”
I sat next to her. I wanted to pull her into my arms, but she retreated into a tight ball curled in the corner of the couch. “What happened?”
“I had finally decided to tell my parents what happened with Mark. I was hoping if they understood it would be the best way to heal the rift that still existed between us. I decided I’d tell my dad first and have him help me tell my mom. I knew my dad would be angry, but my mother would be devastated.”
I looked sympathetically at her. “I’m sure that wasn’t an easy decision.”
“No, but I thought it would help them to understand why I had walked away. Anyway, I went to my father’s office. I decided to stop into one of his favorite sandwich places and pick up some lunch for him. He was bad about skipping it and working right through. It was like a scene right out of a movie. While I was standing in line, I heard a familiar laugh. I looked over and saw my dad sitting at a table having lunch with a pretty woman. At first I figured it was just a business lunch until I saw him reach across the table and hold her hand.”
I sucked in a breath. “Oh.”
“Yeah. I watched for a minute, thinking I must have misunderstood, you know? But the way she looked back at him, with such adoration, I almost got sick. It was just too much for me, on top of everything with Mark. I bolted out the door. I think my father might have seen me. It’s not like I left very quietly. It was then I decided I needed to move away and start over again, this time on my own.”
“So that’s what you meant at dinner when you said you started a program to be an RT?”
She nodded “I still talk to my parents. I can’t cut them out of my life, especially my mother. Despite everything, they’ve always shown me love. But watching my dad come home to my mom and act as if she’s the love of his life . . . how could he do that?”
Tyler puffed out his cheeks and blew out the air. “I don’t know. I guess you’d have to ask him. Maybe you misunderstood what you saw.”
Her hair fell over her face as she shook her head. “No, I don’t think I misunderstood their looks. But now this has happened. I hate seeing him so weak. I love him, but it’s hard for me to forgive him. And now’s not the time to talk to him about it because he doesn’t need any extra stress.”
“There will still be time, kitten. One thing at a time.” I reached over and pulled her hand out from under her pillow and squeezed. “I’m sure your dad loves you now as much as he always has. That doesn’t change. Remember what you told me about my mom?”
“Yeah, the difference is your mom didn’t betray you.”
“Is that why you’ve been so quiet today?” I asked.
She turned to face me. Tears welled in her eyes as she drew her knees up to her chest and rested her head on her knees. “You must be disappointed in me, knowing how weak I am, unable to be the woman I used to be. I just can’t seem to recover her. If Mark shattered my dreams, then my dad stole the color from them.”
She moved away, isolating herself from me. I felt a churning start in my stomach. I knew what she was doing.
“Jen, I’m not disappointed in you at all. How could you think that? You’ve done things for me no one else has ever done.”
“But what if the challenge of learning about each other is all that’s holding us together? What if you grow bored with me or decide I’m too much effort?” She snorted. “I mean, obviously I am. I wanted us to work, but coming here, coming home and seeing my mother blindly idolizing her husband who apparently isn’t as devoted as we all thought reminded me of why I left.”
“Jen, I want you now, tomorrow and forever.” I caught her chin in my hand and bent down so that I could look directly into her eyes. “I’m not going to change my mind. You won’t let me down because I never had specific expectations of a relationship to start with. And yet, one night you blazed into my life and things I never knew I wanted were suddenly everything I want, but only with you. I will always want you.”
Blue eyes sparkling with tears blinked several times at me, then shifted to her painting on the wall. “I’m sorry, Tyler. I just need some time to think.”
She crossed her arms, and I marched over to her and pulled them down. “Don’t, Jen. I know what you’re doing, and I’m not going to let you shut me out. We’ve conquered too many things to be together.”
She jerked away and put a room’s length between us. “But that’s just it, Tyler. Is it always going to be such a challenge? We shouldn’t have had toconquerso many things. We shouldn’t have to work this hard!”
I stomped after her. “But we have. We’ve worked through crazy challenges, and we’re still together. There are no more secrets between us, and unless I’ve done something you don’t like, we’re good together.” She refused to look at me. “Jennifer Marie, you may not want to hear this, but I’ve fallen in love with you. Hopelessly, but beautifully in love with you.”
Silence met my declaration. So much for the romantic movie where the heroine falls into the hero’s arms and declares her eternal love for him in response.
“Jen?”
She sniffled and turned her red splotched face toward me. “Tyler, I love you, too. But I’m scared it’s not enough. I’ve seen true love fail right in front of my eyes.” Her pain filled eyes stared at me.
Frustration clawed at my heart. I turned around and ran a hand through my hair, trying to think what else I could say. Maybe nothing. Maybe she was right, and this was too much work.
I stood still, listening to her sniffle. Finally I said quietly, “I’m going to drive back to the hospital and pick up your mom like I promised.” I didn’t wait around to see if she acknowledged me. I walked out the front door.
She shook her head and raised a finger, silently asking me to wait. She left the room, and I heard her rummaging in a bag in the hallway. She came back, placed a spiral-bound notebook in my hands, and sat in the corner of a couch. I thumbed through the pages. They were all black and white sketches, amazingly detailed, of various scenes, but all depicted loneliness or sadness. The ones that caught my attention the most were the last few. Two were of a girl standing outside looking up at the sky. The first was a little girl staring with awe and wonder at a star-filled sky with a shooting star. Its counterpart was a young woman in the same pose, but her face was sad as she gazed at the sky now obscured by clouds.
The last two sketches both illustrated a room in a house with a large window facing the ocean. In one, there was a little girl building a sand castle. A man stood near the water’s edge, his back toward the child. The last picture caused me to suck in my breath. The same young woman held her hand against the window as if reaching for a man that stood on the beach facing the house, only to be kept apart by the glass separating them. I easily recognized the girl and woman as Jen. I assumed the man with his back turned was her father, although I didn’t understand the contrast to the oil painting. But it was the second man on the beach that riveted my attention. It was me.
I quickly looked at her. She was watching me quietly.
“Jen, I . . .” I was almost at a loss for words. “Will you explain these? Is this because of Mark? Did something else happen to make you feel this way?”
She was quiet for a long moment. Then her words came bursting out. “My father cheated on my mother.”
I stood motionless, shocked by her words as she sank further into the sofa, clutching a pillow like a life raft.
“I’m not sure my mom knows. Things were already so stressed between us after Mark that they think that’s the reason I moved. And it is, at least in part. The other part is that I couldn’t stand to see my dad after knowing what he did.”
I sat next to her. I wanted to pull her into my arms, but she retreated into a tight ball curled in the corner of the couch. “What happened?”
“I had finally decided to tell my parents what happened with Mark. I was hoping if they understood it would be the best way to heal the rift that still existed between us. I decided I’d tell my dad first and have him help me tell my mom. I knew my dad would be angry, but my mother would be devastated.”
I looked sympathetically at her. “I’m sure that wasn’t an easy decision.”
“No, but I thought it would help them to understand why I had walked away. Anyway, I went to my father’s office. I decided to stop into one of his favorite sandwich places and pick up some lunch for him. He was bad about skipping it and working right through. It was like a scene right out of a movie. While I was standing in line, I heard a familiar laugh. I looked over and saw my dad sitting at a table having lunch with a pretty woman. At first I figured it was just a business lunch until I saw him reach across the table and hold her hand.”
I sucked in a breath. “Oh.”
“Yeah. I watched for a minute, thinking I must have misunderstood, you know? But the way she looked back at him, with such adoration, I almost got sick. It was just too much for me, on top of everything with Mark. I bolted out the door. I think my father might have seen me. It’s not like I left very quietly. It was then I decided I needed to move away and start over again, this time on my own.”
“So that’s what you meant at dinner when you said you started a program to be an RT?”
She nodded “I still talk to my parents. I can’t cut them out of my life, especially my mother. Despite everything, they’ve always shown me love. But watching my dad come home to my mom and act as if she’s the love of his life . . . how could he do that?”
Tyler puffed out his cheeks and blew out the air. “I don’t know. I guess you’d have to ask him. Maybe you misunderstood what you saw.”
Her hair fell over her face as she shook her head. “No, I don’t think I misunderstood their looks. But now this has happened. I hate seeing him so weak. I love him, but it’s hard for me to forgive him. And now’s not the time to talk to him about it because he doesn’t need any extra stress.”
“There will still be time, kitten. One thing at a time.” I reached over and pulled her hand out from under her pillow and squeezed. “I’m sure your dad loves you now as much as he always has. That doesn’t change. Remember what you told me about my mom?”
“Yeah, the difference is your mom didn’t betray you.”
“Is that why you’ve been so quiet today?” I asked.
She turned to face me. Tears welled in her eyes as she drew her knees up to her chest and rested her head on her knees. “You must be disappointed in me, knowing how weak I am, unable to be the woman I used to be. I just can’t seem to recover her. If Mark shattered my dreams, then my dad stole the color from them.”
She moved away, isolating herself from me. I felt a churning start in my stomach. I knew what she was doing.
“Jen, I’m not disappointed in you at all. How could you think that? You’ve done things for me no one else has ever done.”
“But what if the challenge of learning about each other is all that’s holding us together? What if you grow bored with me or decide I’m too much effort?” She snorted. “I mean, obviously I am. I wanted us to work, but coming here, coming home and seeing my mother blindly idolizing her husband who apparently isn’t as devoted as we all thought reminded me of why I left.”
“Jen, I want you now, tomorrow and forever.” I caught her chin in my hand and bent down so that I could look directly into her eyes. “I’m not going to change my mind. You won’t let me down because I never had specific expectations of a relationship to start with. And yet, one night you blazed into my life and things I never knew I wanted were suddenly everything I want, but only with you. I will always want you.”
Blue eyes sparkling with tears blinked several times at me, then shifted to her painting on the wall. “I’m sorry, Tyler. I just need some time to think.”
She crossed her arms, and I marched over to her and pulled them down. “Don’t, Jen. I know what you’re doing, and I’m not going to let you shut me out. We’ve conquered too many things to be together.”
She jerked away and put a room’s length between us. “But that’s just it, Tyler. Is it always going to be such a challenge? We shouldn’t have had toconquerso many things. We shouldn’t have to work this hard!”
I stomped after her. “But we have. We’ve worked through crazy challenges, and we’re still together. There are no more secrets between us, and unless I’ve done something you don’t like, we’re good together.” She refused to look at me. “Jennifer Marie, you may not want to hear this, but I’ve fallen in love with you. Hopelessly, but beautifully in love with you.”
Silence met my declaration. So much for the romantic movie where the heroine falls into the hero’s arms and declares her eternal love for him in response.
“Jen?”
She sniffled and turned her red splotched face toward me. “Tyler, I love you, too. But I’m scared it’s not enough. I’ve seen true love fail right in front of my eyes.” Her pain filled eyes stared at me.
Frustration clawed at my heart. I turned around and ran a hand through my hair, trying to think what else I could say. Maybe nothing. Maybe she was right, and this was too much work.
I stood still, listening to her sniffle. Finally I said quietly, “I’m going to drive back to the hospital and pick up your mom like I promised.” I didn’t wait around to see if she acknowledged me. I walked out the front door.
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