Page 36

JEN

AFTER TREATING MEto breakfast out, I followed Tyler back to his house. I walked up the stairs and into the room down the hall from his. He carried my suitcase and plopped it down on the bed. The room was decorated in cream and shades of blue. It was beautiful, and the colors were calm and soothing.

“This used to be my mother’s room when she was a little girl.” He stood near the doorway with his hands shoved in his pocket. “It’s been redecorated, obviously, but I always feel a connection to her in here. Her favorite color was blue . . .” He seemed to drift in thought. I looked around the room at the few pictures and decorations. There was a framed picture on the dresser. I walked over and picked it up. “Is this your mother?” I asked.

He nodded. “Her name was Christina.”

“She was beautiful.”

“She was.”

I walked over to him and rested my hand on the front of his shirt. “Tyler, I can stay somewhere else if you’d rather keep this room for your memories of her,” I offered.

His expression cleared, and he smiled at me. “No, Jen. I’m learning that maybe I’ve been too focused on old memories, and it’s time I create new ones.”

“That sounded very wise if a bit cryptic, Doc,” I teased. “You must be pretty smart.”

“And you are, too. A smartassthat is,” he grinned. He leaned near my ear. “But, you have a sexy ass.” He pulled back and winked. “Feel free to make use of the closet and drawers.” His expression grew more serious. “Consider this your home, Jen. Take a nap or come on down whenever you’re ready.” He exited down the hallway while I stood there, trying to absorb his flirting followed by his generosity. Grinning, I shook my head. That man was getting to me, one bit at a time.

It only took me a few minutes to unpack. I hadn’t planned on staying here but a couple days so I hadn’t brought too many clothes. I was feeling a bit too keyed up to take a nap, despite my rough evening last night, so I headed down the stairs to find Tyler. I searched several rooms, feeling a little nosy, but falling in love with the beauty of the house. Finally, I walked out onto the deck in the backyard. I heard some splashing and walked along a path that led to a fenced-in section of the yard. Behind the fence, Tyler was swimming laps in his pool. Back and forth, back and forth, I watched as his arms worked to pull him through the water. No wonder he was so toned; he was getting quite a workout changing his strokes every few laps, never taking a break. After several minutes, he paused in the shallow end and stood up. Water dripped from his broad shoulders and tight stomach. Heaven help me, he even had the ‘V’ that most women, including me, drooled over. He looked up and saw me standing there.

“Hey, come join me.”

“I didn’t bring a suit.”

“Don’t let that stop you,” he said as he swam my direction and pulled himself out of the pool without bothering to use the stairs. “Come on. You know you want to,” he taunted. He got close enough and shook his hair, showering me with cool droplets.

“Tyler,” I shrieked. He made a grab for me, and I only just missed being caught by him. He reached for me again and caught my arms. He gave a yank, and I found myself pulled flush against his body. My thin layer of clothes quickly absorbed the water droplets on his stomach and chest, and I knew neither one of us had to use our imaginations to remember how the other felt pressed so close together. He started off laughing, but it quickly faded, and the humor in his eyes changed to something warmer, more like smoldering.

“Tyler?” I repeated, but this time my voice came out as a whispered plea. Even I didn’t know what I was begging for. Part of me wanted to push him away and maintain our fragile walls of friendship, but the larger part of me wished he’d knock down that wall once and for all. Every time I’d pushed him away, he’d come back. Either he was a fool, or he saw something worth fighting for. I wanted to believe I was worth it, wanted to trust it wasn’t a mistake. I didn’t know how to forfeit my control long enough to pull it down myself. I was going to have to trust him to know what to do. And for the first time, I was willing to put my fate into the hands of another.

His arms tightened around me. “Jen,” he whispered, just before he answered my plea with his lips. They touched mine tentatively at first, then with more conviction when I didn’t withdraw. His hands moved up to cup the sides of my face as if he were holding something precious. I slid my arms up around his neck and clung to him, melting in the gentleness of his touch. It wasn’t our first kiss, yet, in a way it was; more than physical, it was the initial emotional connection between two souls. It was tender, explorative . . . full of yearning, yet cautious. Desire coursed with each pulse, and I knew Tyler felt it, too, given the evidence that was pressing against my stomach.

Tyler slowly pulled back from the kiss, pressing one final soft kiss to my nose. I gazed at him through hooded eyes but kept my arms wrapped around his neck, not wanting to lose the sweet connection.

“I’m sorry, Jen. I didn’t mean for that to happen. This isn’t why I invited you to stay at my house, I swear.” He hesitated before whispering, “And yet, I’m not sorry, because it felt so right to kiss you.”

He never took his eyes away from mine, and I could read the sincerity in his golden brown eyes. I could also see the fear, probably because he thought I was going to bolt. My heart ached, knowing I was the cause of all those emotions, proof he deserved better than me. But if he could try, so could I. I slid my hands to his shoulders and held them there. “I’m not sorry, Tyler. I agree . . . it did feel right. But that’s what scares me.”

Relief flooded his face. His hands that still gripped my hips squeezed. “You should know that I’ve never felt this way before, Jen. I know you think I’m some kind of player, but I’m not. I just date around because I haven’t found someone who makes me want to try for more. But you—you totally captivate me. I see how loyal you are with your friends, and I’ve watched and learned that time spent together with those you care about is more important to you than any material thing they can give you. I love your sharp sense of humor, even when it’s at my expense. I love your sense of adventure, yet a quiet evening at home is just as fulfilling to you. You see, I know a lot about you. But it’s what I don’t know that scares me. I’m so afraid of scaring you off because I don’t understand what is holding you back. I’m afraid I’m going to say the wrong thing without knowing it’s wrong. So I have to trust you’ll tell me when that happens and be patient with me.”

I wasn’t sure what to say. Tyler had never been one to be so honest about his feelings before, and here he was putting a huge part of himself out in the open. I knew this was it. I had to choose, and either way, there would be no coming back from it. We’d been doing this routine long enough; it was time to either dance together or get off the dance floor. We could remain friends, or possibly we could be more. Sooner or later, it would mean opening up a part of me that I had never shared with anyone, and that terrified me. But if I didn’t, it would destroy any chance we had, even as friends.

I must have hesitated too long because he dropped his hands. “It’s okay, Jen. Forget this happened. I still want you to stay and make yourself at home.” He turned and started back through the gate to go back to the house.

A chill rushed in to take his place. I remembered how gentle he’d been with a beaten woman at the hospital, and I knew he wouldn’t judge me. It was time. I squeezed my eyes shut as if the darkness would make it easier to find my way through this. “His name was Mark.”

There was a long enough silence that I thought he’d left. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes in the direction where I’d last seen him. His hand had paused on the gate latch. He looked back over his shoulder. “What?”

Despite the warmth of the sun, I could feel myself start to tremble. I crossed my arms and wrapped them around me as if I could keep myself from falling apart as I told my story to someone for the first time. “The guy who wrecked me.”