Page 19

Story: Starlight Wishes

From the corner of my eye, I saw Ainsley reach for him as he tried to halt my exit. “Oh, Tyler, let her go. No need for her to wait while we catch up.”

I walked out the door, and only sheer will enabled me to keep looking forward. I didn’t have any claim on Tyler, but that didn’t mean I felt like seeing him with another woman. Jealousy was not an emotion I had much experience with, and I didn’t like it. I had no business being jealous. Tyler was free to see who he wanted. I was grateful he cared enough to spend the day with me. It scared me how easily Tyler had managed to get me to let my guard down, especially when we weren’t chaperoned by Alex and Kayla who always kept us from letting our teasing or sniping get too far out of control. He’d done something special for me, and I would always be grateful. For just a day, I’d been able to forget about the past. But it was better that Tyler rid himself of any ideas about wanting more than friendship with me. Obviously, there were a number of other women willing to take my place.

I was halfway across the parking lot when a hand grabbed one of my arms and pulled. Instantly my body went on high alert. I couldn’t control my reaction. Adrenaline fueled my response as my bag dropped to my feet, and I swung around, ready to scratch, hit, and bite.

“Whoa! Jen, what the hell? It’s just me!” Tyler released my arm and took a step back, holding both hands up as if in surrender. His eyes were wide with shock as he took in my panicked form.

I bent forward, resting my hands on my knees as I heaved in air, mentally counting as I worked to bring myself back under control.Eight, nine, ten. . . I’d been known to have to count as high as fifty when I first started using this technique to control my breathing.

Tyler crouched in front of me, not touching me, but squatting low enough so he could look into my eyes. “Shhh, kitten. It’s okay. Keep breathing. You’re doing a good job.” His voice was calm and reassuring. I held his gaze and matched my breathing to his.Fifteen, sixteen. . . I took one last deep breath and straightened up. Under twenty; not bad. I guess I was getting better at this.

Or maybe it’s just the man in front of you.Perhaps it was that he was familiar, perhaps it was that he didn’t judge me despite my conflicting behavior.Or perhaps it’s because you feel something forhim, my subconscious suggested. I shook my head, trying to dismiss the thought.

I nodded and straightened up. “I’m sorry. You startled me. You can’t be too careful being a woman these days, you know?” I laughed nervously. His eyes darted across my face, and I knew he was trying to diagnose the reason for my reaction. His eyes were filled with such concern making me want to throw myself into his arms where I felt safe and protected. But I managed to tamp it down quickly.

Tyler stood, also. “I’m so sorry I startled you. I should have called your name. Why did you run off?”

“Really? You have to ask that? She obviously thinks you two have further plans. I didn’t want to get in your way. I mean, she’s beautiful. Why wouldn’t you want to see her again?”

“So, I’m back to being the womanizer in your eyes again, huh?” He rolled his eyes. “God knows why I feel the need to defend myself again, but I only sat next to Ainsley at a dinner I was invited to. I’m not interested in her. It would be like trying to date an octopus, all arms everywhere.”

I raised my eyebrow at him.

“Okay. Of course, I find her attractive. But I would never ditch one woman to talk to another.” He threw his hands in the air. “God, you must really have a low opinion of me if you think I’d plan a date with her in front of you.”

“No, Tyler, that’s just it. I think you’re a great guy. You’ve proven that to me, and I don’t mean just today. You’ve done everything to try to make me feel like what happened between us was more than just sex. We’re good now, I promise.”

“Damn it, Jen!” he nearly roared, causing me to flinch. He ran a hand through his hair, rumpling it in such a way that I had to stop myself from smoothing it back into place. He toned down his volume. “The very fact we’re having this conversation,” he said leaning in toward me, “says we’re not good. You don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what?” I whispered, torn between wanting to know and wanting him not to say it.

“I’m not looking for a fling with you, Jen.”

“And that’s why I can’t be with you, Tyler,” I choked out. “I’m no good for you. I can’t be what you want.”

“Really? You’re giving me the ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ speech? You can’t be more original than that?”

“No, it true. It’s definitely me. But I’m not convinced you know what you want either, Tyler. You’re used to beautiful women flinging themselves at you. You drive a Corvette–“

“What the hell does my car have to do with it?”

“It’s flashy. It screams, ‘I’m-single-come-and-get-me.’ It doesn’t say, ‘I’m-a-mature-adult-male-willing-to-make-a-commitment.’” His mouth dropped open, but I kept going. “But that’s okay, Tyler. You’re a grown-up who gets to make his own decisions. You’re good looking, fun, and charming, but I can’t get sucked in by you. I can’t be what you want. So, we’re better to cut our losses and go back to the way things were, only hopefully nicer to each other.” I bent down and retrieved my bag, from which by some miracle only the coffee had fallen out. I tossed the package back into the paper sack and stood up to walk back to my apartment.

He looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language. Maybe I was. I was grasping at straws and didn’t make much sense even to myself. “So my car is an advertisement for my relationship goals?” he asked, his voice full of hurt and astonishment. “Would it be better if I drove a minivan? Is that what you want to see?” He waved his hand in the direction of his Corvette. “That car was my dream car. I worked my ass off to buy it. For me, it’s a symbol of hard work and independence. Something I knew I wanted and went after it. And the only other thing I’ve ever wanted as much and was willing to work for, has thrown so many bullshit excuses at me that my head is spinning.” He advanced on me as he spoke and stretched his hand out as if wanted to grab me.

“Don’t touch me,” I hissed, my eyes frozen on his hand.

He took a step back. “Damn it, Jennifer. Don’t look at me with those eyes like . . .” he paused to swallow hard, “like I’m going to strike you. I know things are strained between us, but I would never hurt you intentionally.” He crossed his arms but spoke more gently. “I think you’re an amazing woman, one I’d love to get to know better, but obviously I can’t change your mind about me. I thought after our conversation this morning and the day we spent together, you might be more open-minded, but obviously I was wrong. Good luck, Jen. I’m done being the idiot who wants to try for something more with you. I guess I’ll see you at Aiden’s birthday party in a couple weeks, but I’ll do my best to stay out of your hair otherwise.”

I was shaking by the time he finished his speech. Tears flooded my eyes at the sound of defeat I heard in his voice. I knew he’d never hurt me. It was just a reflexive response. This was everything I had been trying to avoid—the drama, the hurt feelings, the broken emptiness. I didn’t know how, but I wanted to fix it.

“Tyler, please–“

He held his hand up. “No, Jen,” he said quietly, but with conviction. “I’ll take you home, and then I think we could use a break for awhile.”

As if to punctuate his words, his cell phone rang effectively shutting off our conversation.

He pulled the phone from his pocket. “What?” he barked.