Page 119
Story: Solanum
"Since she moved her office space out of Seattle and closer to Olympia, she said I could take the second office or share hers and see private patients." Nora drew in a slow breath. "When I'm ready. It would be my own schedule on my own time, as flexible as I want. I would still keep disability benefits from work and stuff…" The pain in her expression made it to her eyes, dimming their brightness. "What…what would you think if I did that? I mean, Wilkinson offered me to go back part-time without field work. I could try…" Her gaze flickered downward, and she melted away from the difficult conversation.
"Honey, I'm going to support whatever decision makes you feel the most comfortable emotionally and financially," I said, giving her hands a squeeze. She met my gaze again, her eyes welling up, but her tears didn't fall. "What is your gut telling you?"
"Um…" She sniffled, gulping down her emotions. "My gut isn't trustworthy right now."
"Okay. What's your brain telling you?" I asked. I did my best to keep myself calm and unassuming knowing how much my reaction would influence her decision. I wanted her to make a choice based on what she wanted truthfully, not what she thought I would want her to do.
"My brain says…" She turned to the computer, waving her hand at it. "My money situation is good, even without the disability and settlement. Insurance is taken care of. Maya is in a very stable place. If I were going to make a big career change, now would be the time. It's a calculated risk, but it would be a risk on my own terms."
"Okay. Now we know what brain says, what does gut say?"
"Gut doesn't want to do anything," she admitted. "Gut says that I want to stay home with you forever and never leave the house. And gut says to tell you never to go back to work. I want us to just be like how it's been these few months." She sniffled, blinking a few times but no tears fell yet. "And that if you do have to go to work, I can hang out with Sali and Maggie or Anita because they all have flexible schedules. Or I can go to yoga with Harper and Katie." She shrugged. "So, you see? Gut isn't reliable."
"Gut sounds very afraid," I said, bringing her hand to my lips to kiss her knuckles. "What does your heart say?"
"Heart just wants to be with you." Her bottom lip quivered, but she smiled through it. "All the time."
"Well, tell Heart that my heart shares the same sentiment." I smiled and leaned forward to catch her in a sweet kiss.
She warmed to me immediately and placed her palm against my cheek. "I have to find somewhere in the middle of brain and gut. Heart is easiest."
"You will, honey." I turned to kiss her hand. "Remember when heart was the hardest?" I grinned and she chuckled softly.
"I do… We were stupid."
"We were."
"When do you have to go back to work?" she asked, returning to holding both of my hands.
"Two weeks about. But that's not a hard stop, Nor. If I need to take more time, I still have another four weeks of paid leave if necessary."
"I just don't want you to run down all your time for me…" She squeezed my hands. "Maybe we can go back together. I can take Wilkinson up on the part-time non-fieldwork offer…"
"Only if that's a negotiation you feel comfortable with, Nor. Feel it out. And I will run down every second of my time for you." I stroked her cheek, brushing my thumb over her lips. "Work time and my life time. All of it is worth it for you. We missed out on too much time already."
"Ditto." She smiled and leaned into my touch, her eyes shimmering when she nodded.
I winked at her and she swiped at her eyes.
"Enough for today I think…" She cleared her throat then turned back to the computer to log off her bank account.
"I think so, too. You have some solid plans, Nor. No matter which you choose, you will do well. I'm sure of it. And I will always support you. Even if you choose not to work for a while. I am one-hundred-percent okay with that." I stroked my thumbs over her knuckles, and she shook her head.
"I don't want you to have to support me…"
"I won't be, honey. You said it yourself." I pointed at her closed laptop. "You have what you need."
"It's just…" She drew in a slow breath. "No one has ever supported me. Even when I was as young as ten, I would run errands for people in the trailer park to make a little money to buy lunch for me and Maya at school. Or to get her something for Christmas until I was old enough to do something else."
"Having your own money is meaningful for you," I reflected, and she nodded right away. "Just so you know though, if we were both broke, living in a shoe box with only the clothes on our backs, I would still be in love with you."
Her smile broadened and she hugged my hands to her chest. "I'm in love with you, too, and I would still be then, too. But I would be sad if you didn't make me pancakes even if we were poor."
I laughed and grabbed her into a rough hug. "Now that's going to earn you a spanking."
"Car!" She squealed out my name, her belly jumping with her laughter. "The last time we ate pancakes together…"
"You were riding my strap." I grinned and nibbled her cheek.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119 (Reading here)
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 147
- Page 148
- Page 149
- Page 150
- Page 151
- Page 152
- Page 153
- Page 154
- Page 155
- Page 156
- Page 157
- Page 158
- Page 159
- Page 160
- Page 161
- Page 162
- Page 163
- Page 164
- Page 165
- Page 166
- Page 167
- Page 168
- Page 169
- Page 170
- Page 171
- Page 172
- Page 173
- Page 174
- Page 175
- Page 176
- Page 177
- Page 178
- Page 179
- Page 180
- Page 181
- Page 182
- Page 183
- Page 184
- Page 185
- Page 186
- Page 187
- Page 188
- Page 189
- Page 190
- Page 191
- Page 192
- Page 193
- Page 194
- Page 195
- Page 196
- Page 197
- Page 198
- Page 199
- Page 200
- Page 201
- Page 202
- Page 203
- Page 204
- Page 205
- Page 206
- Page 207
- Page 208
- Page 209
- Page 210
- Page 211
- Page 212
- Page 213
- Page 214
- Page 215
- Page 216
- Page 217
- Page 218
- Page 219
- Page 220
- Page 221
- Page 222
- Page 223
- Page 224
- Page 225
- Page 226
- Page 227
- Page 228
- Page 229
- Page 230
- Page 231
- Page 232
- Page 233
- Page 234
- Page 235
- Page 236
- Page 237
- Page 238