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That kind that gives you no choice in the matter. Jacob once told me that love is an innate force beyond our will and comprehension. It’s how the universe humbles the stubborn human race, hellbent on forging destructive new paths. Love is how the universe stays in control of our fates. Some people can see that and accept it. Others ignore it and let it slip right by, living half-lives.
Dottie’s tears tell me there’s more to the story than just a long-lost friend. Did she and Jacob live their lives full of regret?
“Do you want some dessert?” Dex asks, pulling me from my thoughts. “I have a whole sheet of tiramisu in the fridge. You don’t have to rush out, do you?”
I hold onto Dex’s soft eyes and feel the ache of sadness. Are we headed down a path of regret? Maybe in sixty years, we’ll be kicking ourselves for what could’ve been.
“I should actually head out. I told Alan I’d swing by his place if dinner didn’t run too late.”
Dex’s eyes shift down, and he subtly nods. “Probably for the best.” Then, he rises. “I’ll pack two slices up for you guys.”
18
Lennox
Present Day
Las Vegas
These aren’t my taupe-colored walls. This isn’t my bed. Not my sheets or pillows. But they smell like Dex, so now they feel like home. Right now, my new home is empty.
I sit up and run my hand over the empty space next to me in the California King. I don’t hear the shower running. I don’t see his clothes in the pile we left on the floor.
Was last night a dream?I could’ve sworn I married my friend and we finally confessed that we’re both equally obsessed with the notion ofus. I think we made love in a car, came home, and then proceeded to fuck all night. I’m almost positive Dex fell asleep in me. Not just next to me, butinme. Once the dam was broken, we couldn’t get enough. It feels like close will never ever be close enough.
But here I am, alone this morning, staring at Zeus moping around his tank, wondering if I got too drunk at the bar and made the whole thing up in my mind. I climb out from underthe covers, shivering as the cool air conditioning shocks my naked body. As I stretch my arms overhead, I say, “I’ll find your daddy and get you fed, Zeus,” to the big, black fish slowly gliding around.
“No need,” Dex says from the doorway. “Fed him this morning right after I took a shower. You sleep like the dead, do you know that? You didn’t even flinch.”
I cross my arms over my chest and nod toward the tray in his hand. “Did you cook me breakfast?”
“Uncross your arms,” he scolds with a smirk. “Don’t hide from me. I like the view.”
“I’m not hiding. I’m chilly.”
“Then get back under the covers, Mrs. Hessler. I’m here to feed you.”
I gleefully oblige. Once I’m settled, Dex joins me on the bed, showing off his tray of goodies. This is not takeout. Everything is homemade. Fluffy scrambled eggs lie next to bacon that looks like it’s been grilled. Thick slices of French toast are topped with berries, powdered sugar, and whipped cream. My empty stomach grumbles, making all sorts of embarrassing noises, ratting me out. I’m starving.
“Since when do you cook?” I rub my hands together in excitement and scan the tray for a fork but don’t see one. My only option is the finger food on the plate. “Oh my God, what fresh hell is this? This bacon is impossibly good.” A rich sensation of sweet and salty coats my mouth, making it water.
Dex laughs. “You’re just hungry. It’s center-cut bacon slathered in honey, then grilled on a pellet smoker.”
“You made all of this yourself?”
“Yes.”
“Youcook?”
“Yeah, I like to cook and eat. You can’t tell?” He pats his stomach as if he has a round gut, but his hand simply bounces off his tight abs, visible through his thin gray T-shirt.
“You’re kidding, right?” I roll my eyes.
“You seem surprised. You’ve been to many of my barbeques. You know I grill out.”
“Anyone with a Y chromosome knows how to grill out. It’s in your DNA. I’m talking about actualcooking.” I point to the French toast. “Did you make that batter yourself?”
“I did.”