Page 26

Three years ago, when the quirky showstopper with purple hair appeared at my bedroom door, trying to contribute to a pitch jar, I sucked in a breath I’ve been holding ever since. I’ve held on to Lennox like a troll does its treasure. I keep her close however I can.
For us, that means friendship.
It’s not like I’m not torturously tempted to yank her long hair back, tear her eccentric little outfits off, and bend her naked body over whatever surface she’d let me. I’d show her what all these clowns she dates are lacking.
But Lennox has something I’ve never encountered before. She’s genuine. Full of raw honesty and good intentions. It fuels me in the best way. The moment I was ready to give up on people, Lennox gave me hope. She excavated a side of me I was trying to bury.
I needed her friendship so much more than I needed to fuck her, so I had no choice but to keep the boundaries in place. There’s no faster way to lose a friend than getting sex, feelings, and money involved.
Therefore, I try not to look at anything except her eyes or be alone with her too often. I shake her boyfriend’s hand outof respect. I avoid her like the plague after a dive when she’s peeled off her wetsuit, and her tits, barely concealed in string bikinis, are calling out to me like a persistent-as-fuck siren. I keep my dick tucked away and all my secrets hidden. She doesn’t know who my family is or my net worth. Lennox doesn’t know anything about the other side of me… She wouldn’t like him. Or maybe she could warm up to the idea of my life in Miami.
I don’t know how to start that conversation or bridge that gap. I never planned to. I knew my time in Vegas was temporary. I just never imagined encountering someone who means as much to me as Lennox. She’s probably the longest relationship I’ve ever had. A pseudo-relationship built on fantasy, denial, and self-control. But still…
“So, what are your next steps?” I ask her.
“Well, step one is canceling trips that are now out of my budget,” she says.
I exhale into the phone. “I’d offer to pay for you, but Pocket Protectors probably wouldn’t appreciate that very much.”
“Don’t call Alan that,” she scolds me.
“What?” I ask defensively. “Youcall him that.”
“When I call him that, it’s a playful term of endearment. When you call him that, you’re making fun of him.”
I hate Alan more than all of Lennox’s other past boyfriends. She’s had a slew of dalliances since I passed on my tiny window of opportunity three years ago. She’s always capturing some guy’s attention or another. But they end up disappointing her quickly and never last long. Alan is different. Not her usual type. He’s genuinely a good guy. I roll my eyes just thinking about it. He might actually last. One day, I’m going to be front row at their wedding, smiling at the beautiful bride who should’ve been mine and daydreaming about beating Alan to a pulp.
“I’m not making fun of him. Just the other day, a blue pen exploded in my unprotected pocket. Ruined my nice new pants. I couldn’t help but think how much smarter Alan is than me.”
She roars in laughter.There it is. My favorite sound. “You’re such a jackass. Anyway, are you free to come over to Finn and Avery’s tonight? The fridge is stocked with the beer you like.”
“As much as I’d love to crash your couples’ night, I’m in Miami.”
“Alan’s working. And what? Since when are you in Miami? I thought you just got back from Mexico.”
“I got back, then had to head out again the day after. Something back home came up.”Not technically a lie.I didn’t know how to tell my Vegas friends that Grandma died. They barely knew she existed and certainly don’t know what she means to me.
Lennox is, of course, the exception. She met Grandma once a few years ago. Just one dinner, but they bonded so quickly. They both understood how much the other means to me. Maybe that’s why I don’t want to tell Lennox about my loss. I’m sure she’ll say and do all the right things to pull out the emotions I’ve set aside. Then, I’ll have to deal with all the pain I’m effectively avoiding.
I don’t have time to fall apart. There’s too much work to be done. A legacy to uphold.
“You know something? You get really secretive when you go home.”
There’s a lull as she calls me on my shit. “I just don’t like talking about it. Right now, home is really…complicated.”
“Anything I can do to help?”
“Yeah. Don’t cancel the dive trip. I planned this whole thing during ray seasonfor you.You haven’t seen them on a dive before and said you always wanted to.”
Lennox typically avoids the dives with possible sightings of big marine life. She thinks baby whales will only attract killersharks. According to her, dolphins are vindictive enough to drown you. She also has an irrational fear of being squashed between two whales like getting sandwiched between two semi-trucks. Not a completely inaccurate analogy. At any rate, big sea turtles and eagle rays seem to be the exception. She likes those.
“I did. But I’m not exaggerating. I’m broke. I could barely afford it before, and now I’m screwed. I don’t even know how I’m going to pay rent next month. And I’m sick of taking handouts from everyone, so don’t offer. It’s starting to make me feel pathetic.”
“You know the stuff that’s come up here?”
“Yeah.”
“The Cozumel trip will be my last for Discover Dives. I have to go back to working my big boy job, full time. So, if it’s the last dive I lead, I’d really like for you to be there. We can work something out financially. A payment plan. Just give me a dollar a month until the end of time. We’ll figure it out, okay?”