Page 53

It’s too dark for me to see how much cash Dex handed him, but it’s enough to earn an eager, “Yes, sir. I’ll get the door for you guys.” The kid opens his door in a hurry.
“Just sit down and start the car,” he grumbles. He’s rubbed the wrong way. Probably because the driver gave me a hard time before he showed up. I’d say this newfound protectiveness is because now I’m his wife, but Dex has always been this way. Whenever I’m with him, he doesn’t tolerate anyone cutting me in lines, talking over me, or bumping into me without an immediate “excuse me” or apology. I thought it was manners. Maybe it was more.
I shuffle to the backdoor and grab the handle, but Dex plants his hand on the door, making it impossible for me to open it.
Spinning around to face him, I ask, “What?”
He moves in a little closer to me. “Are you okay?”
I nod. “Yeah. Why?”
“Because I think you just tried to ditch my ass ten seconds after marrying me.”
I make a face, pretending like he’s crazy, even though he’s spot-on. “Not at all. The smoke machine mixed with the strobe lights were making me nauseous. I had to get out of there unless you wanted vomit on your shoes.”
The look he’s giving me tells me he’s unconvinced. He sees right through me as usual. “Yeah, that was a little much. I didn’t realize the fog machine came with the Deluxe package.” He cracks a smile, but it quickly disappears. “It was hard to see you in there. I was just repeating whatever bullshit the officiant was telling me to. It felt like I was making promises to a cloud of smoke.”
I turn down the corner of my lips and nod. “Well, husband, nice to know you think our vows are bullshit.” I chuckle, but Dex’s eyes are too intense. He’s not laughing or smiling. I feel silly, like I’m the only one laughing at a cruel joke. So, I stop.
“They weren’t real. To have, hold, and obey? That doesn’t mean anything.”
I shrug. “Well, neither does this marriage. So...”
“Do you want this to be meaningful? You want me to tell you how I really feel about you? Because once I do, there’s no going back.”
I lean back so hard into the door, I’m sure the metal is going to bruise my spine. “What do you mean?”
“There’s another side of me, and he is the antithesis of the man you want. Corporate, money, politics…that’s the version of me I’ve been hiding from you. And it’s a big part of me and my future. The side of my life that’d sink any potential for a relationship for us. And I’m not interested in losing you, Len. But it’s your choice. Do you want us to stay where it’s safe? Or do you really want to cross this line and risk ruining our friendship?”
I slump forward, my forehead knocking against his chest. The thin fabric of his shirt is cool against my hot skin. “Ruin it,” I mumble against him. “Tell me how you really feel about me.”
His chest lifts as he takes in a drawn-out inhale. He’s breathing deeply while I’m holding my own breath, waiting for an answer to the question I’ve had for three long years.
“Trouble…my heart stops every time you walk into a room. I am fucking obsessed with you. I have been from the very first moment you showed up at my bedroom door and gave me that ten-dollar bill.” He reaches out to cup my cheek, running his thumb along my bottom lip. “But how do we make sense? My destiny is everything you despise. I didn’t know how else to keep you close except with…lies.”
I gasp like I’ve just come up for air after holding my head underwater for too long. Finally, here’s my answer. I was never alone in the needy ache. It’s been torturing us both for so damn long. And now I’m going to put us both out of our misery. “I can handle it, Dex. All your sides. I’ll be right next to you for all of it.”
“Promise?” he asks.
“Promise.”
I press my ear against his chest, and his erratic heartbeat gives him away. His breath is ragged, and while this is a moment of solace for me, he seems unnerved.
“What’s wrong?”
“Absolutely nothing.” He wraps me in his arms, his embrace a blanket against the cool night air. I cross every line. I wrap my hands around his hips, grazing the top of his belt. All I can think is it needs to come off. Every single barrier between Dex and me is over now—the half-truths, secrets, our clothes—it’s all coming down tonight. “So what’s next?” he asks. “What are we now? Married? Friends? Dating? All of the above?”
His body is a playground I finally get to explore. After taking my time running my hands across his lower back, then tracing his hard abs, I place them flat against his pecs. Leaning away, looking for his eyes, I allow myself to get fully lost in the green and honey-colored patches. “I don’t know. We said, ‘I do,’ and then you pecked me on thecheek.”
“I was trying to maintain boundaries,” he answers defensively. “I didn’t know what you wanted.”
I grab his shirt and tighten my fist, pulling him closer. “You. For three fucking years, Dex.You.”
Then, his full, cool lips are on mine. The woodsy, rich, sweet smell of his mouth-watering cologne is all I breathe in as he kisses me. He’s pressed so tightly against me, I can’t tell where his body stops and mine begins. We’re melted into one, the car barely bracing our interwoven bodies.
Breathless, he breaks away. Searching my eyes, he asks, “How’d that kiss feel?”
The answer is so simple. “Completely addicting.”