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There was some joy in my life, though. In Melody. In her beautiful son, Dex. I wish you could’ve met him. He’s your spitting image.
And see, the best parts of Dex—his tender heart, his warm smile, his optimism, his sense of adventure—those are all parts of you. And the longer he’s buried in this office, the more he loses himself.
Every day, he becomes more Hessler and less who he really is.
So, I’m sending him to a place where he can feel close to you. If you’re up there watching over us, please take extra good care of our grandson. He’s everything to me. He’s all I have left of Melody.
He’s all I have left of you.
Goodnight, Jacob.
-Dottie
P.S. Love doesn’t seem like a big enough word, but I do still love you.
1
Lennox
Present Day
Las Vegas
Iclench the pink note in my fist, not sure if I should feel relieved or panicked. I can’t believe they still give out pink slips. A termination email, sure. But an actual pink carbon copy form dismissing me from my position as a policy service representative is…comical.It’s fine.I hate this call center anyway. The job was cruel and unusual punishment. I will miss the benefits, though. Not a lot of companies are handing out medical and dental coverage on your first day.
Fuck.I touch my cheek.
And, of course, the minute I lose my dental insurance is when my tooth starts to hurt again. What a coincidence.
I thought I’d need more time to clean out my cubicle. My coworkers have mini cacti, colorful pen holders, or little cubbies that hold their books, keys, and lip balms. Anything to make these bland partitions feel a little more comfortable during our ten-hour shifts. All I have to clean up are a few Polaroids, amagazine, and the Luna bars I buy from the vending machine each day. I don’t know why I keep buying them. I don’t eat them.
Sighing, I unpin the few pictures I have thumbtacked into the built-in corkboard on the wall of my cubicle. One is of my dad and my old pit bull, Boggle. The next is of me and my best friends, Finn and Avery, sharing an amusingly large cheeseburger at a local restaurant that was featured in Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives. That was a good day. I am blessed with a cousin who is my best friend and his sweet fiancée, who has never once complained about me being their constant third wheel.
Not that I should be third-wheeling. I’m in a relationship. But I’m aware it’s a little weird that I’m more comfortable around Finn and Avery than on my own with my boyfriend. Alan is nice, but he reminds me of school. Good for me, but goddamn, am I reluctant to go some days. I know how that sounds, but I’m twenty-seven now. I’m trying to choose grown-up things.
I unpin the last photograph—me and my mom posing at the Grand Canyon. A stranger took this picture for us. We’re wearing matching sunglasses. My hair was still vibrantly dyed at the time. In the picture, I’m laughing and my mom is pretending to lick my purple hair because she always said it made me look like a popsicle.
She’s going to be furious that I got fired today. Mom stuck her neck out to get me this job. But between training and three weeks on the call floor, I lastedalmostthree months. That’s…something. Right?
“Lennox!”It comes out more like a shriek than anything else. I know who it is, but I don’t see Brooke. Leaning backward, I look up and down the row of cubicles. “Unbelievable.” She continues her bellyaching again from an unknown location.
“Where are you?” I ask, mostly to myself.
I flip my small, empty metal trash can over and hoist myself up to peer over the sea of cubicles.Ah, there she is.I see the red-knotted bun on the top of her head weaving through the rows.
The massive customer service floor is so poorly designed. I can’t believe this place passed a fire inspection. Brooke’s desk is in what can only be described as a dead-end cul-de-sac. She has to maneuver through a complex rat maze to get to the break room, elevators, exit, or her work bestie’s desk. If this building were to spontaneously burst into flames, half the policy reps on this floor would for sure be goners. Had I been given a proper exit interview, it would’ve been one of my many complaints about this job.
But I committed the ultimate crime. Grounds for immediate dismissal. There was no exit interview, no severance,no mercy.All I did was hang up on a customer.
When Brooke finally reaches my cubicle, she’s panting. Her headset is still fastened to her head, the input cord dangling like a necklace. “Fired?” she asks.
I nod solemnly, yet I’m wearing a small grin.
She huffs out, “Let’s ditch this bitch. I’m going with you.”
My laugh is half-hearted. “How’d you find out?”
“The company chat. All of a sudden, your username is gone, and your email is no longer active.” Her big eyes are bewildered, like it’s so shocking that someone got fired. People come and go daily—it’s a massive call center for auto insurance. At least once a day, someone loses their shit and storms out with their middle fingers in the air. Out loud, we cheer for them. In silence, we envy them. There’s freedom right through the glass front doors. The only reason we’re all trapped is because the pay is so damn good.