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Dex smirks, then shuts his eyes and holds out his hands. “All right, then. Whatever it is, I’m sure I’ll love it.”
“Good. You’re fired.”
His eyes are still closed, but his smirk disappears. “Mhmm. Real funny.”
“I’m not kidding, Dex.You’re fired.But not for performance. You’re doing a superb job. You’re welcome to consider this a long-term sabbatical if you please.”
Now his eyes pop open as his jaw drops. “Have you forgotten what birthdays are? Because that’s not a present.”
“It is.”
Shame splatters across his face as he bites the inside of his cheek. “Look, Grandma. What I said before… I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful. I’d be an idiot to complain about the privileges I have. I’m lucky to be a Hessler, I know that. And I’m sorry about Briar and all the other bullshit that’s been going on for thepast year. I need to be smarter. I’ve been thinking and I’m going to take some time off from dating, period. I’m going to focus on work. When I’m in my thirties, you can just pick a wife for me for all I care.”
“Dex. I’m relieving you of your positiontemporarily. You’ve been working yourself like a dog since freshman year of your undergrad. I’m proud of you. Hessler Group will be waiting when you’re ready. But right now, I’m gifting you a break.”
“Thank you, but I don’t need a break.” He rises from his seat, his jaw clenched. “I’ve been here since six this morning though, and I do need some sleep?—”
“Please,sit.” I raised this child on my own since he was seven years old. At twenty-seven, he still minds me. Once his behind is nestled back in the tufted cream sofa, I soften my eyes.
“Sweet boy, I had no idea what I was signing you up for when I chose this life for you.”
He shakes his head. “Chose?You didn’t choose this life for me.”
“Didn’t I?” I fold my hands together as a wave of remorse washes over me, threatening to drown me. “When I agreed to become a Hessler, I specifically had your mother, you, and your future children in mind. I thought money would make my family feel safe. I never knew the magnitude of evil that would come from it. And I know you’re going through hell now, but I promise you, it gets worse. You think my husband had never been caught up in a scandal or accused of something unsavory? We just became skilled at acting impervious. We tripled our legal and PR teams. Harrison always used to say that if you were rich enough, you could buy bravery, but it's all still a façade.”
Dex squints one eye, looking thrown by my response. “It’s weird to hear you call him Harrison. Just say, ‘Grandpa.’”
I exhale in exasperation. “Dex, listen to me. Eventually, you won’t just be grappling with decisions you’re currently making.You’ll be wrestling with ghosts. Suffocating from decisions that were clearly mistakes in hindsight. It never gets easier. The load never gets lighter. Wealth will always be a malignant tumor, feeding off your soul. Greed grows, want grows, all while you starve what you actually need.”
“Being?” His question comes out in a gruff whisper.
“Love. But love isn’t about pretty girls and the pretty rings they want wrapped around their fingers. Love is about companionship.”
“Grandma, I’m not looking for?—”
“But,” I say, interrupting him, “you can’t find the right someone until you find yourself. Do you understand that?”
I’m sure he’d love to roll his eyes—his natural reaction every time we have this conversation. I don’t blame him. I’d be wary of love if I were him as well. The women he’s met are far from genuine. None of them with family and future on their mind. Their calculating eyes are fixed on black cards, penthouses, and my grandson’s bottomless pocket. I sometimes wonder if they even care that he’s good-looking. He’d serve the same purpose to them if he looked like a troll under a bridge.
That’s my greatest fear. Nobody will see Dex outside of athingto use and possess.
For so long, I was treated like a doll on the shelf. When my husband succumbed to his excessive drinking decades ago, the responsibility fell on me. I went from a doll to a pawn on a chessboard. All I want is for my grandson’s life to be more than a game.
“Well, what do you expect me to do? Sit around the estate all day ordering the staff around until it’s time to take over the company?” Irritation lines his tone. He’s rubbing his hands together so hard they’re turning red.
“Well, now for your actual present.”
Barefoot, I stand and make my way to my top desk drawer. I pull out an envelope and balance it on my palm, feeling a thousand pounds of layered guilt. I wasn’t supposed to look him up. I made my choice long ago. I owe the Hesslers a lot. But you can’t force your heart to obey when it comes to love. Loyalty, however, is an entirely separate matter. That’s a choice, and now, a part of me feels truly unfaithful.
Dex stares at the envelope as if it were dangerous. No patience for his hesitance, I open the envelope and show him the deed to the dive shop.
“The friend I’m writing… He used to love diving as much as you do. Maybe even more. We lost contact for a very long time. Even when the internet emerged, I couldn’t find him. So, I hired a private investigator to look him up. It took a long time. My friend would disappear off the grid for months on end on liveaboards and other various ships, so he was nearly impossible to find. I thought he was lost forever. But I got a surprise report from the PI last week.”
“Really?” Genuine interest is painted all over Dex’s face. He picks up his drink and takes a small sip of bourbon, seemingly unbothered by the bitter burn. I blinked, and the little boy I raised is all grown now, drinking like a man. “And how’s your friend?”
“He passed a few years ago. I was too late. We didn’t get to reconnect. But he opened a dive shop in Las Vegas of all places. It looks like it was employee-run as long as possible, but it just recently went up for sale.” I balance the deed on Dex’s leg. “I bought it for you. You always said if you had the time, you’d like to be a dive instructor, right?”
He stares at the paper but doesn’t touch it. “I’m the Director of Operations of the largest cruise ship conglomerate in the world while being groomed to take over as CEO. Time hasn’t been on my side.”