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And then I ask for the thing I never thought I would be able to ask for. "Kiss me."
His eyes narrow but his pupils blow with lust. "Is that what you need, baby? Me?"
"Yes!"
My fingernails dig into Maksim's chest when Parker dips his head down and his lips crash to mine. He kisses me savagely like it'll be the last time. Parker seeks me, he tastes me. His tongue dances along mine, giving me breath. His fingers press on my clit and my hips seek out that pressure, fucking Maksim, the fattest part of him sliding against my G, as I feel all the love and care in Parker's electric kiss.
I break from him only to cry out their names, a wave of absolute ecstasy tumbling over me, but neither relents. My madness is all-consuming. Maksim stills beneath me, cursing, and I'm guided into another wave, being taken and swept away by the undertow, drowning in every emotion I haven't allowed myself to feel in almost three years, with every pulse of his rigid cock
and
I
break.
"That's it, baby, break for us. Only us. Only ever us. Show us the real you."
Tears spring free again, and I curse myself for showing so much weakness, so much emotion but Parker only praises me, shuffling into bed when I don't let go of him. I cling to him with my arms as much as I cling to Maks with my thighs. I'm a spectacle. I'm weak. I'm a coward. I'm everything, every negative thing I have ever felt and said that I am.
Even under the blankets, trembling after withdrawing from me, Maks somehow found a way to clean me up without moving me out ofParker's hold. I sob as he comes back to bed, settling beneath the blanket with us.
I should be reveling in the afterglow and grinning like a Cheshire cat. I should be purring and slightly stupid, but instead, I'm this – a blubbering bitch on the verge of having a panic attack. I breathe in Parker’s warm, masculine, clean scent, letting it soothe me.
"We got you, Sabrina. We got you, baby."
Maksim drapes an arm around my torso and cuddles close, his chest firm against my back. I shut my eyes tighter, so tightly I see little orbs dancing behind my lids.
I follow them into the dark.
The next time I wake up, it's just me and Parker in my marital bed. I can tell he's been awake for a while, or maybe he's been awake this entire time. "How long was I out?"
He looks down at me and then checks his wristwatch. "Seventeen hours."
"What?!" I get up too quickly and every fucking part of me is sore.
"Relax, Sabrina, you needed the sleep, baby."
"Parker, I had a client."
He rolls his eyes. "And I got Lily to reschedule them. Them being married for an extra day won't hurt them. You needed the sleep, Bri. You've been overexerting yourself for months. Traveling, planning a wedding, keeping up this façade all the time, moving-"
"Parker, what happened?"
The muscles in his jaw tick, staying quiet momentarily, as if trying to figure out how to tell me. "Maksim and I realized the other person isn't leaving. We both want and love and need you, and you're safer with us. I think he'd rather this happen, and he's in control of it, than it happen behind his back, and he's made a fool of."
I'm contemplating his words as he opens his mouth to continue. "You don't have to say it back until you're ready, I know I kind of sprung this on you, and trust me, Sabrina, if you tell me no, if no part of you wants to see if we could make this work, then I'll keep my distance. I'll back off-"
"I can't lose you, Parker. It may be unhealthy for me to be so dependent on you and no, I'm not ready to say it yet. I care for you more than I care for myself if I'm honest. But this is a lot. I'm married."
"I know."
"I won't be able to give you children."
"I got snipped two years ago, that isn't an issue. Whatever children you have I'll still love as my own."
"I won't be able to love you out loud."
"I prefer the quiet. I prefer nights with you. Or early mornings, Sabrina. Trust me, I thought of all of it. But the truth is I love you. There's no one else for me. I'm not good with words. I can't make a big fancy speech, but all I can tell you is that when I try to imagine a future without you, it's no future at all. It's cold and dark in that future, and it's not one I want. I know we'll make this work, because you're a fighter, Sabrina. Besides, you could always get my name tatted on your ring finger." He grins and the sight of him smiling makes me smile, too. "It'll mean just as much as that piece of paper you signed." He leans down to capture my lips with his. It's soft and tender and has me lighting up inside like a Christmas tree.