Page 72

I blush. "I... I wished it happened more often. When he's pulling me out of those images in my dreams, I feel like he's pulling me back out to shore. Between Maksim and Parker... I'm... starting tofeelthings… of the sexual nature.” I look away from him again before I say, “A part of me hopes it’s real. I felt… I felt like a woman again.”
"Which is why you dry-humped Savage during your morning run."
If I thought I was blushing before, I'm certainly every shade of crimson now. "Christ. Doc, you make it sound soblasé."
"How do you cope, Sabrina, with what happened to you? You've been seeing me for months now and it's the first time you've actually opened up about your assault. How do you cope, and I don't mean baked goods and working out with Raven. Those are outlets. What are yourinlets? What’s been helping you be able tomentallysafely work through what you’ve been through, and I don’t mean seeing me."
"I read."
"Read what?"
"Things."
He rolls his eyes and it's not Doctor Archer I'm speaking to; it'sDamon, Raven's boyfriend and my friend.
"Okay, fine. I read smut, okay? Dragon shifters and age gap romances and sometimes maybe there's a tentacle. I read all the tropes. Cowboys and aliens and-" I groan "and lately…maybe… there's a broody mafia guy or a bodyguard of some sort. The thing is, I don’t mindreadingabout happy endings – pun intended – nor when my pink parts tingle. I just don’t want totouchsaid pink parts.”
"Finally a non-vague answer."
"You're incorrigible."
He grins so fucking smugly I toss the pillow beside me at him, which he catches and throws it back, hitting me in the face.
"Wanker! Honestly, I expected this from Jonas, not you." I scoff.
"He's contagious," he grins for a moment, then drops his gorgeous smile. Ugh, I hate when he gets serious on me. "Sabrina, how do youfeelabout Parker?"
This answer is easy, and I don’t have to dig too deeply. "I feel like I've loved him for the better part of the past four years of my life. When Raven... when what happened to Raven happened, Mama wanted me to be protected. We aren't remarkably high, scale-wise in the Syndicate, but she said if that happened to Raven and she was -is- so high up, a literal queen amongst us, then it could happen to me. I swear she searched high and low for someone like Parker. Someone who is as dangerous as he looked menacing and at first, yes, I thought he was hot, but he wassucha droll. My god, the man was no fun. But then what happened to me happened to me, and he became such a shoulder to lean on. And I know it's incredibly unhealthy for me to be so dependent on him, but the bugger knows me inside and out. He sees my weakness and helps me get stronger."
"And Maksim?"
I look at the stained windows again. "He gives me emotional and mental whiplash. Honestly, it's so toxic.Iam so very toxic. He calls me weak and useless. He sees it, my worthless attributes, and characteristics. I’m not at all surprised that I… disgust him." I don't tell him that I disgust myself.
I know, I know. He’s my doctor. Ishouldbe telling Damon that I hate myself, but if I hear ‘how does that make you feel?’ I’ll probably throw myself off the Brooklyn Bridge.
"Tell me about that."
So I do. I tell himeverything. He grunts when I tell him about being called useless during our dance as man and wife. I tell him everythingexceptfor my outburst Friday evening, and what transpired between Maksim and I, and I end it with, "But this is also onlymypoint of view. I'm probably the villain in his story. He wanted this marriage just as much as I did. Meaning not at all."
"So then why did you agree?"
"Because it was either him... orhim."
He lifts a dark brow and barely gives a nod, understanding what and who I mean. "You chose the lesser of two evils."
I scoff. "And look where that's gotten me. I chose the devil and I’m paying for it dearly.”
“Have you thought maybe your husband’s feelings have changed towards you? If yours have, why wouldn’t his? Sex is natural, being forced in such close proximity can change our chemistries.”
I scoff and rollmy eyes.
Damon sighs again, looking up at the clock behind me. “I’m giving you a different dose of medication for this week,” he says, grabbing his script paper and jotting something down then handing it to me.
Girl’s Night with Raven
Dark Romance Novel (ask Raven)
Try to masturbate.