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His kisses were untamed and torturous. So ready to devour me...
My back arches and my knees come up to my chest.
God the way he growled...
A moan escapes me as I touch, refamiliarizing myself with my needy sex to thoughts of my husband, but when I enter my body, it isn't his face that pops up. I wretch my hand away and I turn to punch my mattress. Instead of a moan, a sob escapes me, and
I.
Hate.
My.
Self.
I let a low wail out and thrash my legs. Why can't I be normal again? It's been years! It's beenyears. I ignore the knocking on my door and the arguing on the other side of it and cover my mouth to let out another soft wail.
It's been years.
Years of silent tears and disguised wails or screaming into water or my pillow and having to pretend to be fine. To be perfectly perfect.
Sabrina Winters: Socialite
Sabrina Winters: Doting Daughter
Sabrina Winters: Fierce Attorney
Sabrina Winters: Silly Friend
Sabrina Winters: Charity Baker
Sabrina Winters-Giordano: LovingWife
So many titles, so many parts to play, and the rest of me is being forgotten, exceptIcan't forget.
I want to so badly.
I want it to stop.
I want it to stopforever...
I reach over, fumbling for my phone, and punch in the number I called so many times over the years only to be sent to voicemail. Except this time, she answers.
It takes thirty minutes for a tiny knock on my bedroom door to make me put a t-shirt on and slump out of bed, wrapped in my fluffy blanket, to let Raven in along with Maverick.
Ignoring Parker and Maks, I close the door behind them and lock it shut. As soon as they're inside, I open my arms, and Raven slips her arms around my waist, over the blanket, and I let it go. Every silent sob turns into low wails, but she doesn't let me go. Not when I sink to the bed. Not when I'm blubbering like a fool. Not even when I'm gasping.She simply rubs my back, trailing her fingers over the damn blanket along my spine.
I hear a creak on the small sofa in my room but other than that, Maverick makes no noise.
I keep my eyes closed, and Raven begins to hum.
I turn in her arms, so my back is to her front, the duvet separating us, but I still feel her all around me. Her fingers rake through my hair as she continues to hum.
"I think I'm falling in love with my husband," I sniff, "but I don't want to."
Her fingers never stop brushing through my hair. "Why?" She whispers, and I could cry again, hearing her voice.
"Because I'm so utterlybroken, Raven, and I'm too tired to feel properly. Is that a thing?"