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After signing, I rub my fingers together to get rid of the glitter but all it does is land on my slacks, fluttering around, finding another victim. Jesus.
She signs it, and neatly shoves everything back into her briefcase, snapping it shut with a click. Standing, Sabrina extends her little gloved hand again, Parker and I both getting to our feet. It feels good to know I’m taller than him by at least two inches. I take her gloved hand in mine, the lace of it warm and slightly clammy. If she were nervous this entire time, she didn’t show it outwardly.
Of course not, she’s a professional.
Her head bows in a curt nod. “I’ll send you more details of the gala as well as a copy of this agreement to your email.”
When she leaves, I stare after her, watching her hips gracefully sway with each calculated heeled step, every man in the room looking after her.She keeps her head down as if she already knows she’s the most beautiful woman in every room, but her shoulders are slumped, like she’s trying to make herself smaller somehow.
Impossible.
Even from our first interaction I can already see there’s so much more to her than her beauty. She smiles radiantly at Parker when he holds the door open for her and then mix-matched eyes blink in my direction before the glass door closes completely and he turns away, staying barely a foot behind her, matching her steps.
What the fuck have I just gotten myself into?
On Saturday morning, when the contract gets back to me, I call David… and make a few changes to the fine print.
Chapter Two
Sabrina.
Monroe Mansion
One Month Ago
I sneak away to the third floor while listening to Raven and Axel play in front of the large crowd full of Syndicate members since my soon-to-be fiancé, Maksim Giordano, head of both the mafia and bratva, owner of the popular Eden casino in New York, was too busy with a phone call to notice me slip away. I have a feeling it won’t be the only time he’s too busy with work to notice me and I’m okay with that.
I’mmorethan okay with that.
Opening the door to Raven’s bedroom brings a sense of nostalgia I haven’t felt in a very long time. I stand at the window, looking down at the cars on the street as the haunting holiday carol floats to me. I watch, as my cousin Simon and his wife Clarissa fly out of the driveway and the music stops. It has been ages since I’ve been in this room and yet, it feels as though I’ve never left. Like Raven was never assaulted and I was still that stupid girl thinking the Syndicate was just a rumor.
A boogeyman.
I sigh, sitting on her crumpled purple comforter, forever my messy friend. Truly, I'm amazed there aren’t any pizza boxes on her desk, lord knows how much she absolutelydespisedthe little finger food served at parties our entire time at university. Then again, she hated her entire stay at university, and I suppose that’s how we got along so well. I had worked hard -so hardto get into Yale and Oxford only for Daddy to tell me I was to go to Rayne-Moore.
Now I know why.
God, we used to laugh so much at all those Syndicate rumors, daring each other to traipse through the woods behind the campus at night without a flashlight. I smile at the memory of how lively we both were. Two naive and silly girls, enjoying the better things in life, vacationing together, staying at hostels during summer holiday like a couple of “regular people.”
Being her friend was… I’ll admit it, being her friend wasexhilarating. That’s why her being back is such a surprise, but she seems to be doing so much better, especially with Jonas at her side. She looks so happy even if downstairs she looked so… frustrated. Overwhelmed. Then again, being around all the people you despise is exhausting.
I know it because I feel it. Day in and day out - daubing an outrageous smile on my face all goddamn day until my cheeks feel like they’re bleeding internally. But it’s what they want, isn’t it? The people ask, ‘how areyou?’and you say‘fine,’ because if you truly said,“Well, I wish I woke up for the last time yesterday,”that would make them uncomfortable, wouldn’t it?
So here I am, alive and simply doing what I can, keeping busy so I don’t let my mind remember those blurry moments of my life before I became…this. Back when my smiles were real and when I laughed, I felt it. Back when ‘lethargy’and ‘depression’were nothing but side effects of pure boredom - back when anxiety and I were nothing but strangers passing each other on a lonely street.
The door to her room flies open and Raven, gorgeous and different now, although still beautiful, comes in with her boyfriend Jonas, right behind her. He sets the cello case down carefully just as Raven spots me… and I do my best to smile, I really do, but when her face contorts in concern, I reach my hands out to her and the tears flood my face, unable to keep them down any longer, sheruns. To. Me. I try to catch my breath but the tighter she holds me, the more I can’t breathe. She doesn’t say anything –can’tsay anything – just remains by my side and clutches me.
I beg for a moment of her time, amorselof my best friend’s time… and she gives it when she has no reason to. She gives it, even when I gave up on her.
Jonas goes to the walk-in, only leaving the door slightly ajar, I’m sure in case Raven needs him, and I decide it’s time.
It's time I tell someone why I’ve gained fifty pounds, why I’m wearingmulberryinstead of my usual baby pink, why anyone’s touch, even hers, sends me into an itching frenzy that causes hives that stretch across my skin. And who better to tell than the woman who wentthrough a tragic ordeal, has the scars to prove it, and fights her demons with a smile on her face?
Although my scars are internal, I make sure they never show.
Happy, happy Sabrina, so pretty in pink.
Doing my best to compose myself, I inhale deeply and let it out slowly. But first, “I need to apologize to you, Raven. You were my first real friend for two years and when you needed me, I tried to be there… at first. I did. But then life kept happening. It’s not an excuse. But there was only so much I could do while you were trapped in the ICU. I kept rooting for you. Kept hoping you’d reach out and when you didn’t… I was devastated. And then Axel told me you weren’t coming back. That you were at Lorne Wood… and you were no longer the same. I tried to visit a few times, but I wasn’t allowed because I wasn’t immediate family and so I…mournedyou instead of trying harder.” I admit, guilt weighing on me. God, I don’t deserve this moment with her.