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“I’m here, with you. I’m in it already.”
He shakes his head. “You’re not. You’re really not. I’ve been careful about what you’ve seen, the things you’ve been party to.”
“Because you don’t trust me.”
“Because I swept you away from Carys to do one thing. One thing. Find out who killed my father. I didn’t do it so you could wind up in jail or dead.” His voice booms out in a sudden burst, his hand making a sweeping motion.
“Both are still likely. Finn’s already arranged my near-murder once. Keeping whatever you think from me does nothing except drive a wedge between us.”
When he doesn’t say anything in response, I throw up my hands, a noise of frustration escaping as I head to the door. Before I get there, he catches me around the waist and backs me up against the wall. His forehead presses into mine, and our gazes lock. We breathe in sync before his lips descend. I wrap my arms around him, meeting his kiss, wishing things could be simpler between us.
One of his arms is braced against the wall while the other circles my waist, tugging me closer. Once we break apart, we stare at each other again.
“Why won’t you let me help?”
“Because I feel like I’m being ripped in half. Part of me is consumed with figuring this out, what happened, and why. The other half is absolutely desperate to keep you safe. I can’t—I don’t know how to do both and let you help.”
“The best way to keep me safe is to keep me informed. If I understand the risks and dangers, I understand when I need to watch my back.”
“I want you to do something for me.”
I stare at him, not sure I want to agree outright without knowing what it is.
“Once Finn’s awake, I’ll see if he recalls anything. Then, I’m going to the house to check the marks. If it’s a helicopter, I’m chasing the two leads. You understand me?” He slants his head to maintain my attention when I turn my face from him.
“You’re not going to tell me.”
“I want you to keep an eye on Finn, keep things moving at the house while I’m doing what I need to do to figure this out.”
“Well, if you haven’t told me your various shady dealings, how can I possibly keep things running?” My tone is mockingly sweet.
“My office. I’ll give you the code.”
My gaze flies to his. I would’ve given almost anything for that number months ago. Now, the notion of having a large chunk of unsupervised time sends a chill through me. My job dictates I take advantage, but my heart isn’t in it anymore.
“Are you sure?”
“You don’t think I trust you? You can have the keys to the throne.” His lips graze my forehead. “Course, if there are no marks in the field, the offer of the code is rescinded.”
“Seems fair.” I smirk. My stomach is a stormy sea filled with the knowledge as he keeps me afloat, I’ll be sinking him.
Our lightheartedness evaporates when our gazes reconnect. “I’ve put something in motion.” He searches my face. “I’m not sure I can stop it now. If this raid is what I think it is.”
I know it’s not what he thinks, whatever that is. His cryptic comment doesn’t help the unease spreading through me. What has he done? What is he going to do?
“Areyouokay?” A different sort of fear grips me, one I haven’t felt since my family disintegrated. I shouldn’t be feeling this way about him, about anyone. It’s dangerous.
He brushes his lips across mine. “Only time will tell.”
There’s a sharp knock at the door, and Fiona’s voice follows. “Lorcan? Finn’s awake.”
He pulls away from me, but he’s laser focused on the connection between us. I glide my hands along his arm until I can link my fingers with his.
“Be there in a tic,” he calls to Fiona. He’s memorizing my face, searching for something I can’t give him.
“I’m coming with you to see Finn.” It’s a bad idea. Might be the worst idea I’ve had, and so far, I’m setting new records in that category. There’s a sadness, a desperation in him that wasn’t there before Sean arrived. The helicopter has him rattled.
“You wait outside the room with the guys till I’ve had a chance to talk to Finn alone. Then, you can come in. I wanna see if he remembers anything.”