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“So you and he…”
“I wish. But no. Never. He’s been very focused on you.” Dai Qing shrugs and opens the door to the hospital wing.
“I really wish you didn’t tell me that right now.” We come to a halt outside his recovery room.
“You cannot be so dense that you didn’t at least suspect.”
I stare at her for a moment, unable to say anything in my defense. Did I suspect? Yeah, sometimes. Malik played me the way I often play a mark. He expressed enough interest in me I realized the connection we had was mutual, but never enough to scare me away. I would have bolted if he’d told me what she’s implying.
Knowing he was in love with me, letting myself love him back the way he wanted, would have ruined me as an agent. “That must have been hard for him.”
She puts her hand on the doorknob. “It’s going to be even harder for him if he ever sees the way you look at Lorcan.” With that, she opens the door, and I have no choice but to follow her in.
Malik is only able to open one of his eyes when we enter his room. Two things object within my brain, at odds with each other. I want to know what happened in that basement with Lorcan and Finn. At the same time, I never want to know Lorcan’s part in it. But knowing Finn’s role might make it easier to kill him if it comes to that. It’s impossible to get one without the other, so I stay silent.
“You came,” he whispers. “Did they pull you out?” His eye strays to Dai Qing who says nothing. She’s waiting for my lead.
“Yes.” I lace my fingers with his. “They got me out.”
His body sinks further into the mattress, the tension going out of him. “It was all I could think about. I didn’t know what I said.”
Enough. Enough for Finn to know.
“Nothing. You didn’t tell them anything. I’m okay.” I use my free hand to gesture to my jeans and T-shirt. “Perfectly fine.”
He lets out a grunt as he tries to get comfortable. “That you are.”
A smile plays at the edges of my lips. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I got run over by a train.”
“Thankfully, not a train.”
He squeezes my hand. “You sticking around for a bit?”
I concentrate on our linked fingers. “They’ve already assigned me somewhere else. You know, no rest for the wicked.” My insides twist at the lie. Given how he looks and feels, he wouldn’t understand why they’d let me go back.
His attention strays to Dai Qing. “You’re watching out for her?”
“As well as she’ll let me.”
His nod is almost imperceptible. “As soon as I can, I’ll get assigned to you.”
I glance over my shoulder at her. “There’s no rush. Work on getting better in the ways you need.” When I turn, his good eye is focused on me with laser intensity.
“What aren’t you telling me?” His voice is rough as though speaking is exhausting.
Dai Qing steps forward to come beside me. “We gotta get her slotted into place. You understand. Narrow windows of opportunity.”
His eye doesn’t leave my face. “Kimi.”
“Nothing, Malik. I-I feel responsible for what’s happened to you.”
“My fault.” He lets out a strangled cough. “Shouldn’t have gone to see your mom. I blew my cover.”
“I brought Lorcan there, and I shouldn’t have.”
She lets out a startled noise beside me. “You what?”