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Finn chuckles and stops suddenly. His gaze skims over me. “I don’t want to see you again today until you have what I want. You can’t get it? I’ll find someone who can.” He raises his eyebrows. “I almost died. Someone needs to pay. You got me? Someone will pay.”
Unease races along my spine, but I hold eye contact with him. “Understood.” My stomach flips. Maybe I need to tell Lorcan about my conversation with Carys sooner than I want. My back may be against the wall, but I’m not in a corner yet.
“Well.” He angles his chin in the direction we came. “You can go. I’ll chat with Sean about what you’ve been doing and where the gaps are. Maybe I should have put a man in charge.”
I bristle.
Finn chuckles. “Ah, I thought that’d get you. I don’t care what’s going on between you and Lorcan. I’m paying your salary. Get me information.”
“I will.”
He motions with his hand for Sean to follow him, and I’m left in the hall, staring at their retreating figures.
When I get to the front entrance, my phone registers a missed call from a blocked number. My heart thumps in my ears. Lorcan’s been gone for a while. A blocked number could be Dai Qing trying to reach me another way. It’s dangerous to call me since she never knows what position I’ll be in or who I’ll be with when the phone rings.
Jorge nods as I head out the door. A pang pierces my chest at Antonio’s absence. In the garage, I punch in the lockbox code for the spare keys to the cars. Lorcan took an SUV, but with Finn home from the hospital, the other is there again. Snatching the keys off their peg, I relock the box then climb into the driver’s seat.
When I arrive at the payphone a short drive from the house, I ease out of the driver’s seat and glance around. With a shaking hand, I dial Dai Qing’s private number I memorized when Malik switched roles.
“Dai Qing here.”
“It’s me.” I fiddle with the cord to the receiver. There’s shuffling on her end, and her office door clicks closed in the background.
“Are you alone?”
“Yes.”
Dai Qing takes a deep breath. “I—God—I wish I was there. It feels inhumane to say this on the phone.”
“Malik?” I whisper.
“No, he’s—there’s an infection, but he’s stable for now.” There’s another tense pause, and then Dai Qing says, “It’s your mom, Kimi. She died this morning.”
“What?” My knees buckle, and I place my hand on the thick plastic of the payphone wall. “What?” Last time I saw her, she was frail, but not close to death. “How?”
“She contracted pneumonia a few days ago. They—I guess no one updated them about Malik not being the contact anymore. It took them a couple days to get connected. And I tried to get in touch with you this morning. But they called me a few minutes ago to say she’d passed.”
A sob catches in my throat. The lump feels immovable, but I swallow it. “Okay.” Chills race across my chest and along my arms. I stare at my hand pressed against the plastic wall. “Okay. I need to—I should—what do I do now?” I ease my back against the wall, sliding until I’m crouched, the receiver clutched to my ear.
Dai Qing’s voice is quiet when she says, “You can still go see her if you want.”
I shake my head, and tears slip down my cheeks. “No.” My voice is thick, almost unrecognizable. “No.” There’s more firmness in the word than I feel. “She’s been gone a long time.”
There’s silence on the other end of the line. Dai Qing breathes in my ear. “Then you need to collect her things. The facility said it isn’t much.”
“Yeah, right. Yeah. Malik helped my mother pack up and get rid of any extras while I was on assignment.” When I close my eyes, an echo of Lorcan whispering he loves me floats across my consciousness. I cling to it like a life raft. “I’m supposed to be finding fake information for Finn today. I’ll go to the home now.”
“Do you need me to meet you there? Or do you want me to get someone to meet you there? Or pick up the stuff for you? We can hold it for you until you’re ready.”
“No.” I swallow the bile gathering in my throat. “I need to do this.” My chest is tight, and I clear my throat. “I should have spent more time with her.”
“Kimi,” Dai Qing’s voice is filled with kindness. “You were a good daughter. I have no doubt she loved you, and she was proud of you, of everything you’ve done with your life.”
I choke on a sob. “I have to go.” I push on the lever to hang up. Tears stream down my face as I press my forehead against the top of the payphone. Without giving myself a chance to second-guess my choice, I slip money into the slot and let my fingers fly across the numbers I memorized months ago.
“Lorcan Donaghey.” The timbre of his voice is all business. He wouldn’t have recognized the number. I should have called from my cell, but I’m not thinking clearly.
“Lorcan,” I whisper.